JocelynKaulitz

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JocelynKaulitz

144Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Fullerton, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 August 1994 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 15051
  • Number of comments : 483
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About JocelynKaulitz : Name's Jocelyn, get at me babes!

JocelynKaulitz's page activity

Visits<b>frankmz</b> - 21 hours ago<b>RealChewyPiano</b> - 21 hours ago<b>TheOrangeSkittle</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 2:58am<b>eyepuppy</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 6:55am<b>jbivens1992</b> - the 04/24/2016 at 1:37am<b>dominguez89</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 3:55am<b>PissedTumor</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 11:15pm<b>silentj46290</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 8:56am<b>orbit</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 9:25pm<b>cheeky_booty</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 8:03pm<b>Kayouri</b> - the 04/17/2016 at 2:56pm<b>SorrowsReward</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 7:25am<b>madous</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 9:37am<b>The666Ghost</b> - the 04/11/2016 at 10:19am<b>LaprasTV</b> - the 04/09/2016 at 9:33pm<b>salii321</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 3:22am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 8:58pm<b>george_s_4</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 11:38am

Fucked!<b>dominguez89</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 9:55am<b>silentj46290</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 2:56pm<b>SorrowsReward</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 1:25pm<b>A07</b> - the 03/15/2016 at 9:20pm<b>cheesyfeet2001</b> - the 03/13/2016 at 3:38am<b>Nexa</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 4:14am<b>yayhoo16</b> - the 03/08/2016 at 3:06am<b>SeanV979</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 9:13pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 7:24am<b>igg125</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 10:24pm<b>nicolai44</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 7:33pm<b>extinct_dodo</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 3:02pm<b>tranced_</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 2:59pm<b>Nomaddict</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 1:57pm<b>flannelboss27</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 5:41pm<b>JusstJef</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 5:24pm<b>Technastar</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 3:23pm<b>Hrodrik</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 10:03pm

JocelynKaulitz's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

See all of JocelynKaulitz's badges

JocelynKaulitz's favorite FMLs

Today, my new doctor gave me a breast exam and said everything was healthy, before adding "Well, I think so, anyway. I don't actually work here." As I freaked out, he laughed out loud, said he was just kidding, and that he should prescribe me a chill pill. FML

by humdrummitydrum / 08/19/2014 at 4:46pm / United States / Health

Today, on Facebook, all these parents posted photos of their child's last first day of high school, saying they were so proud as they left for senior year. It was my first day of senior year today, but my parents just gave me a high-five for not doing drugs. FML

by morgie96 / 08/19/2014 at 12:11am / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I went to a baseball game with my girlfriend's dad. I got a boner when they sang the anthem, because that's what I sing in my head when having sex with his daughter so I last longer. FML

by embarrassed / 08/18/2014 at 12:39pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I learned that when someone is choking you don't do the "hymen maneuver", you do the "heimlich maneuver". I was corrected by my girlfriend's parents. FML

by FANZZY / 08/18/2014 at 12:29pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my two-year-old daughter's favourite word is 'No'. After leaving her with my sixteen-year-old brother, she now knows other N words as well. Niet, Nein, Non and Never. Her teenage uncle thinks it's hilarious. FML

by 919191 / 08/18/2014 at 9:26am / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Kids

Today, while I was at the dentist, I couldn't stop gagging when he tried to put a tab in my mouth to get an x-ray. As I left, I overheard him saying, "I feel sorry for her boyfriend." FML

by gag reflex / 08/16/2014 at 12:03pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, while walking to work, I saw a homeless guy with a funny "NEED MONEY 4 BOOZE" sign, so I gave him a few spare dollars for his humor. On my way back home, he was out cold on the sidewalk with several empty bottles beside him. Whoops. FML

by thoughthewasjoking / 08/15/2014 at 5:10pm / United States (Alabama) / Money

Today, I made fun of a girl singing passionately along to a song on her radio while in traffic next to me. She decided that her chocolate milkshake would make a good addition to my brand new seat covers. FML

by oops / 08/14/2014 at 5:54pm / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I hooked up with a girl at a club, and we had sex. She just lay there like a corpse the whole time. It got so bad, I ended up faking an orgasm and blaming the lack of semen on a botched vasectomy. She actually believed it. What the hell? FML

by Anonymous / 08/12/2014 at 4:24pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, was the first day my grandma has seen me since I started going to tanning beds. She is now considering taking me out of her will because I look like "a damn Indian". FML

by kirstyrd / 08/12/2014 at 2:07am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I wore a tank top for the first time in a few years. It turned out even worse than the last time. I got insulted by several people over my "Never say never" upper chest tattoo, which I got years ago, before the words ever became associated with a certain douchy Canadian pop "singer". FML

by beaverfever / 08/06/2014 at 12:45pm / Poland (Zachodniopomorskie) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML

by Anonymous / 08/03/2014 at 1:16am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work

Today, my girlfriend's dad returned home from deployment. Being the grade A fucktard that I am, I got flustered and asked, "So um, did you make it back?" He looked me dead in the eyes and said completely deadpan, "No, obviously I died. Moron." FML

by whoops / 08/01/2014 at 4:45pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered that the odd creaking noise I hear when I walk down the stairs is actually a crack that had been getting larger over the years. I found out when I fell through and plummeted to the stairs below. FML

by Oldhouse / 07/21/2014 at 11:46pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the local grocery store. I've had really bad gas lately, and I accidentally let one go while standing in line. The woman behind me thought it was her kid, and smacked him for farting in public. FML

by Anonymous / 07/19/2014 at 1:39pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous