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JocelynKaulitz

Offline (13 hours ago) | Search for a member

JocelynKaulitz

130Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 August 1994 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 14372
  • Number of comments : 477
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About JocelynKaulitz : Just keeping it irie.

Name's Jocelyn!

JocelynKaulitz's page activity

Visits<b>michaelm1290</b> - 3 hours ago<b>duduv2</b> - 6 hours ago<b>ThuNDeY</b> - yesterday at 2:49am<b>scaredpollo</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 2:58am<b>crocks97</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 3:20pm<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 6:22am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 5:56pm<b>insanelocket</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 12:35pm<b>paperbag77</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 8:02am<b>sheeshadevil</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 10:19pm<b>abattior</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 1:32am<b>Mons</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 12:24am<b>Tenker</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 11:24pm<b>ProfessorMctitie</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 11:24pm<b>pks2014</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 8:20pm<b>Shayn_25</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 5:29pm<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 5:12pm<b>Xandler</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 2:46pm

Fucked!<b>flannelboss27</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 5:41pm<b>JusstJef</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 5:24pm<b>Technastar</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 3:23pm<b>Hrodrik</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 10:03pm<b>ManUtdFan743</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 1:03pm<b>allred1997</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 9:59am<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 11/30/2015 at 10:10am<b>pete9913</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 9:34pm<b>alex_gen</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 10:01am<b>barisozdemir</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 12:21pm<b>int15</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 8:04pm<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 5:41am<b>enginsteve</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 5:15am<b>Y0UI34574RD</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 10:15pm<b>clearlyroo440</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 9:01pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 5:40am<b>beeferjay</b> - the 11/06/2015 at 8:17pm<b>Crossing</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 4:48pm

JocelynKaulitz's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

See all of JocelynKaulitz's badges

JocelynKaulitz's favorite FMLs

Today, I hit a new low point in my life when I stole batteries from a toy at the daycare I work at, and put them in my vibrator. FML

#21286701
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28805) - you deserved it (37906)

On 10/27/2014 at 11:40pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I stumbled across one of my son's English assignments. Apparently, he decided to submit a haiku about how electrical outlets are technically "whores" because they hook up with countless cords for a "charge." I don't know whether to be amused or furious. FML

#21285975
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36132) - you deserved it (5269)

On 10/26/2014 at 10:42pm - kids - by MySonThePoet (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I finally felt ready to give my boyfriend a blowjob. Barely 20 seconds in, he said: "I'll be honest, this is TERRIBLE." FML

#21285558
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44045) - you deserved it (9388)

On 10/26/2014 at 10:25am - intimacy - by soisblueballsdickhead (woman) - United States

Today, I was passing notes in class with my crush. I started to pour my heart out and tell him about how I've liked him for years. I was caught by the teacher. He looked at it, laughed, and tore it up. He then looked at me and said, "I just saved you from years of embarrassment. You're welcome." FML

#21283544
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41259) - you deserved it (11167)

On 10/23/2014 at 12:04am - love - by Rachel - United States (Ohio)

Today, I climbed onto my boyfriend's lap and sexily told him "It's getting hot in here," and started unbuttoning my shirt. He said "Oh," pushed me off him, and went to turn the ceiling fan on. FML

#21279866
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44890) - you deserved it (6596)

On 10/17/2014 at 2:29pm - intimacy - by gettinghotinhere - United States (California)

Today, a nurse asked my relationship status. I answered, "Married". She then asked if there was any possibility of me being pregnant. I hardly contained my snort, before responding, "No, you have to have sex for that." I'm not sure what's worse, the fact that it's true or her laughter. FML

#21275225
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43796) - you deserved it (6285)

On 10/10/2014 at 9:25pm - intimacy - by bluevix (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I woke up to find that my acne has lined itself beautifully in a perfect 'L' shape in the centre of my forehead. FML

Today, as a limo driver, I had to drive 8 guys for a night-out from their wives. I put the Michigan/Rutgers game on the radio, thinking they would appreciate that. Apparently, they wanted to listen to their "pump-up" songs instead, which were mostly Katy Perry songs. FML

#21271972
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39014) - you deserved it (4991)

On 10/06/2014 at 11:05am - work - by theseguysarewhipped... - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my vagina. He replied, "What's that?" FML

#21271608
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42622) - you deserved it (19142)

On 10/05/2014 at 10:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my vagina. He replied, "What's that?" FML

#21271608
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42622) - you deserved it (19142)

On 10/05/2014 at 10:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found a decomposing hamster deep in my closet. My daughter had hidden "Peach" after accidentally killing it and said it had ran away a month ago. And I'd believed her. FML

#21271391
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38008) - you deserved it (4729)

On 10/05/2014 at 5:34pm - kids - by SmellyCloset (man) - United States (California)

Today, I thought I would be cute for my 1 year anniversary with my girlfriend so I cooked a three course meal for her with candles and rose petals on the floor. She loved the dinner, except now she's passed out in a food coma upstairs while I'm left with the dishes. FML

#21270586
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38659) - you deserved it (7234)

On 10/04/2014 at 9:57am - love - by cuteloser (man) - Australia

Today, I tried kissing my boyfriend on the tip of his nose. He sneezed mid-kiss and head butted me. Now there is just an awkward silence. FML

#21270556
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36204) - you deserved it (4557)

On 10/04/2014 at 8:11am - love - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my teenage daughter asked me to buy her the morning after pill, saying "It's for my acne." FML

#21270394
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38899) - you deserved it (4877)

On 10/03/2014 at 11:08pm - health - by Disappointed -

Today, I found out that when I asked my buddy to make sure my girlfriend was safe while I was abroad, he really did; he even used a condom. FML

#21268339
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47408) - you deserved it (4649)

On 09/30/2014 at 1:45pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)



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