Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

JocelynKaulitz

Offline (5 hours ago) | Search for a member

JocelynKaulitz

63Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 August 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 10914
  • Number of comments : 449
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About JocelynKaulitz : Just keeping it irie.

Name's Jocelyn!

JocelynKaulitz's page activity

Visits<b>ali282h</b> - 7 hours ago<b>BigxXxDeal</b> - 11 hours ago<b>TheBeast26</b> - yesterday at 12:29am<b>Aes0p</b> - yesterday at 5:33pm<b>arasx0</b> - yesterday at 4:42pm<b>ItsaBucsLife</b> - yesterday at 11:15am<b>MrFloooo</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 5:39am<b>seenoevil818</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 4:32am<b>Ecudaniel</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 1:18am<b>levention</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 12:11am<b>farcryjohn</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 11:37pm<b>NH_Freelancer</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 11:18pm<b>kjblack</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 1:58pm<b>tchatfield9413</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 9:28am<b>Damafia</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 9:05am<b>KenzieRose77</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 7:33am<b>martin8337</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 6:04am<b>ChubChubxx</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 5:54am

Liked!<b>NH_Freelancer</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 5:19am<b>expertsmilee</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 5:35am<b>ali282h</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 3:31am<b>rjc490</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 4:58pm<b>tot5t</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 8:00pm<b>natyemi15</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 5:08pm<b>erjgyflover</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 8:25pm<b>atrumX</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 8:07am<b>powerkeep</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 4:09pm<b>Corey122726</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 2:21pm<b>elusiveshame</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 12:37pm<b>martin8337</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 11:57am<b>pks2014</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 2:46am<b>kooljac702</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 4:05pm<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 5:11am<b>Hertyn</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 12:09am<b>papygeorges</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 11:00am<b>allstarrider</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 1:24pm

JocelynKaulitz's FML badges

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of JocelynKaulitz's badges

JocelynKaulitz's favorite FMLs

Today, I thought I would be cute for my 1 year anniversary with my girlfriend so I cooked a three course meal for her with candles and rose petals on the floor. She loved the dinner, except now she's passed out in a food coma upstairs while I'm left with the dishes. FML

#21270586
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36715) - you deserved it (6930)

On 10/04/2014 at 9:57am - love - by cuteloser (man) - Australia

Today, I tried kissing my boyfriend on the tip of his nose. He sneezed mid-kiss and head butted me. Now there is just an awkward silence. FML

#21270556
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33076) - you deserved it (3877)

On 10/04/2014 at 8:11am - love - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my teenage daughter asked me to buy her the morning after pill, saying "It's for my acne." FML

#21270394
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35933) - you deserved it (4229)

On 10/03/2014 at 11:08pm - health - by Disappointed -

Today, I found out that when I asked my buddy to make sure my girlfriend was safe while I was abroad, he really did; he even used a condom. FML

#21268339
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43759) - you deserved it (3996)

On 09/30/2014 at 1:45pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, while running an event, my belt loop got caught in those metal whorls that outdoor chairs have. I couldn't get it undone and had to greet guests by standing up and bringing the chair with me, hanging from my ass. My coworker finally had to cut the belt loop to set me free. FML

#21266851
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28635) - you deserved it (3784)

On 09/28/2014 at 7:40am - work - by Abbynyc - United States (New York)

Today, I can't go on watching season 8 of The Big Bang Theory, not because of the steady decline of the show's quality, but because I can't stand Penny's new haircut. FML

#21263705
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28997) - you deserved it (17255)

On 09/23/2014 at 8:48am - misc - by shelookslikemiley - Australia

Today, I was having sex with this amazingly hot guy. Things got pretty intense, and right as I was about to orgasm, the gold crucifix came flying off his necklace and sliced my eyelid open. Message received. Well played, God. FML

#21262317
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40774) - you deserved it (5691)

On 09/21/2014 at 7:27am - intimacy - by Sinnersinner - United States (California)

Today, I got high for the first time. Apparently I called my vet and told him my goldfish was barking. I found out when he called me back later to make sure we were both okay. FML

#21258033
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31803) - you deserved it (18274)

On 09/14/2014 at 12:38pm - animals - by Anonymous - Ghana (Greater Accra)

Today, I woke up to find a huge zit directly between my two eyebrows. My friends have started calling me "The North Star." FML

#21253662
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34988) - you deserved it (3246)

On 09/07/2014 at 11:55am - health - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my daughter's teacher called me, very concerned, because my child told the whole class she's not virgin anymore. The word is "vegan", honey. FML

#21253313
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40595) - you deserved it (3861)

On 09/06/2014 at 9:57pm - kids - by healthfreak - United States (Georgia)

Today, my girlfriend yelled at me for jokingly telling her to get back in the kitchen. After we finally made peace and I told her that I fully respect women, I turned on my stereo. The song's first words? "Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks." Cue second argument. FML

#21252547
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36022) - you deserved it (17309)

On 09/05/2014 at 5:54pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I complimented a guy on his beard. His response? "Thanks. Wanna sit on it?" FML

Today, my girlfriend got up in the middle of sex saying, "You're taking too long, I'm gonna go make some popcorn." I asked her if she could get me some. She said no. FML

#21251846
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42118) - you deserved it (8360)

On 09/04/2014 at 3:32pm - intimacy - by candy man - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was walking my dogs when a woman at a bus stop quite rudely exclaimed, "Keep those mutts away from my kid". I replied just as rudely that I wouldn't want them anywhere near her dirty sprog. It was then we both realised she was a customer that I regularly talk to at work. FML

Today, while finally about to make love with my long term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML

#21249014
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47711) - you deserved it (5393)

On 08/31/2014 at 11:14am - intimacy - by anon - United States (Texas)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: