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JocelynKaulitz

Offline (the 04/25/2015 at 8:56am) | Search for a member

JocelynKaulitz

67Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 August 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 11504
  • Number of comments : 452
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About JocelynKaulitz : Just keeping it irie.

Name's Jocelyn!

JocelynKaulitz's page activity

Visits<b>sdlr32787</b> - 22 hours ago<b>MrFloooo</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 7:41am<b>tchatfield9413</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 6:10pm<b>maxyutd</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 8:20am<b>_kyleG_</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 7:20am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 7:17am<b>Radgears47</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 4:21am<b>Sobe_1900</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 12:38am<b>ostark</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 11:29pm<b>underthesea12</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 12:02pm<b>Soccerboi15</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 1:00am<b>nhbasskid13</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 7:10pm<b>Aly_donawho</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 11:51am<b>thrasher590</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 11:44pm<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 9:24am<b>wildbill248</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 6:05pm<b>EvAN_117</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 8:09am<b>Raltizal</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 11:22am

Fucked!<b>MrFloooo</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 1:41pm<b>Radgears47</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 10:21am<b>_kyleG_</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 7:34am<b>Raltizal</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 5:22pm<b>NH_Freelancer</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 5:19am<b>expertsmilee</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 5:35am<b>ali282h</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 3:31am<b>rjc490</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 4:58pm<b>tot5t</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 8:00pm<b>natyemi15</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 5:08pm<b>erjgyflover</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 8:25pm<b>atrumX</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 8:07am<b>powerkeep</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 4:09pm<b>Corey122726</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 2:21pm<b>elusiveshame</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 12:37pm<b>martin8337</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 11:57am<b>pks2014</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 2:46am<b>kooljac702</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 4:05pm

JocelynKaulitz's FML badges

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of JocelynKaulitz's badges

JocelynKaulitz's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend and I were trying something new. I ended up with a shard of glass in my back and a concussion. Don't have sex on a glass table. FML

#21335128
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18124) - you deserved it (26370)

On 01/11/2015 at 2:10pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, my boyfriend and I were going to sext before going to sleep. It was very late, but I said I'd stay up for him. He sent a text asking me if I was ready. Me replying "yes" was the last thing I remember before I fell asleep on my horny boyfriend. FML

#21334154
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29060) - you deserved it (8891)

On 01/09/2015 at 9:13pm - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I signed into my online class, got bored, and took off my headphones to argue with my roommates about anal sex. At the end of the argument, I put my headphones back on to hear my professor asking if someone could call me to tell me to turn my damn mic off. FML

Today, I was lying in bed with my girlfriend. Trying to be romantic, I complimented her on how nice her hair smelled. She replied: "Yeah? Wait till you smell this." then let out the vilest, most nauseating fart I'd ever smelled in my life. FML

#21330185
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35433) - you deserved it (6673)

On 01/03/2015 at 7:23pm - love - by allgassedout (man) - United States (California)

Today, as I left the supermarket, I found someone had hit my car in the parking lot. There was a note tucked under the wipers. Insurance details? Nope. It just said "Sorry dude. I fucked up. Good luck with the car." Great. FML

#21330094
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28338) - you deserved it (1787)

On 01/03/2015 at 4:16pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got shitfaced at a club. A cute girl I'd met earlier in the evening offered to drive me home in my car and spend the night with me. She crashed my car and did a runner before the cops showed up. They wouldn't believe my story. I now have a wrecked car and a DUI. FML

#21329473
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29116) - you deserved it (8605)

On 01/02/2015 at 5:14pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was brushing my teeth. When it came time for me to spit, I absentmindedly opened the bathroom drawer and spat in there instead of in the sink. FML

#21328982
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24655) - you deserved it (11254)

On 01/01/2015 at 10:38pm - misc - by 30000 - United States (California)

Today, I went on a first date, only for us to find the restaurant wasn't open on New Year's Day. My date suggested going to the mall instead. We drove in our own cars. Me: the mall, him: home. I waited for 40 minutes before realising he'd stood me up. Happy New Year to me. FML

#21328493
77 comments

Today, my mom and I went to exchange a massive stuffed animal, which was meant for my niece. I was carrying it when I saw a really hot guy looking at me funny. My mom snickered and told him that I never go anywhere without "George". FML

#21325643
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31182) - you deserved it (2883)

On 12/28/2014 at 1:52am - misc - by thanks a lot mom - United States (California)

Today, my mom finally got a Netflix account after months of me begging. When I asked her what the login was, she refused to give it to me. She said, "Netflix will know it's not me and then they'll cancel our account." FML

Today, I got into a fight with my sister. Later on she brought me a bowl of tortilla chips, which I thought was her way of apologizing. I found out too late that she'd licked the flavoring off them and it was really her way of saying "Fuck you." FML

#21325373
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29043) - you deserved it (4479)

On 12/27/2014 at 3:53pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, my 7-year-old daughter loudly asked in the middle of the supermarket, "Mummy, what's a cunt?" FML

#21321028
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29616) - you deserved it (3175)

On 12/20/2014 at 5:42pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I had my midterm finals for AP Literature. My teacher had good news and bad news for us. The bad news? That he lost the file for our original exam and so had to make a harder exam for us. An exam he told us not to study for. The good news? "Jesus Christ suffered and died for our sins." FML

#21319606
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32507) - you deserved it (3044)

On 12/18/2014 at 7:11am - misc - by subversivepanda (woman) - Guam

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my mom told me how lucky I was to inherit her "asymptomatic" periods. It's true, I don't get cramps, bloating or mood swings with my periods. Nope, just excruciatingly painful diarrhea. Thanks, mom. FML

#21318154
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30396) - you deserved it (2508)

On 12/15/2014 at 8:23pm - misc - by period_probs (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my sister turned the volume on my phone way up and changed the ringtone to a woman's blood-curdling scream. I found this out when she called my phone at 2am as I slept next to it. I pissed my pants and fell out of bed screaming in terror. I'll never hear the end of this. FML

#21313211
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39050) - you deserved it (3996)

On 12/07/2014 at 3:54pm - kids - by terdberglerforlyfe (man) - Brazil (Sao Paulo)



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