About JocelynKaulitz : Name's Jocelyn, get at me babes!
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JocelynKaulitz's favorite FMLs
Today, I was reprimanded at work for having a low friendliness rating as a cashier. For two months, out of 1500 transactions, only 3 people filled out the survey. I almost got fired because 1 out of 3 people was mad about a coupon. FML
by Winterbelle / 04/01/2015 at 9:06pm / United States (Minnesota) / Work
by BERNDTOAST / 03/27/2015 at 11:27am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, my mom and I made the bad decision to go hiking for some mother-daughter bonding even though we had little experience. My mother tumbled down a mountain named Tumbledown and I couldn't even enjoy the irony because I had to half carry her all the way back to the car. FML
by manderpander21 / 03/16/2015 at 8:56pm / United States (New York) / Health
Today, I jokingly sent my girlfriend a link to an article about giving better head. She didn't think it was funny, and has since sent me numerous articles about the female orgasm, and I just got a link to the Wikipedia article about the clitoris. FML
by Anonymous / 03/10/2015 at 7:15pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by parkoursam / 03/10/2015 at 12:45pm / United States (Illinois) / Health
Today, my mom demanded that I go into the basement and fix the water heater. I told her that I had no idea how to fix it, so she threw my phone down the stairs, told me to Google it, and locked the basement door behind me. It's been two hours. FML
by MyMomIsInsane / 03/09/2015 at 8:28pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, my little sister complained about a young boy in her class always pulling her hair. She asked when boys will stop doing it. My mom replied, "They won't, even when they're grown-ups," then looked over at my dad and shared a dirty smirk. FML
by greatly disturbed / 03/07/2015 at 2:09pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by kysier / 03/01/2015 at 6:36pm / United States (Kentucky) / Work
Today, while cleaning my son's room, I found an envelope labelled "PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL" under his bed. I opened it, only to find it was a glitter bomb. I couldn't get it all cleaned off myself before he got home. He just said "HAH! Serves you right!" and went to his room smirking. FML
by Anonymous / 02/28/2015 at 1:11pm / United States (Oregon) / Kids
by Anonymous / 02/27/2015 at 2:37pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
by frediqqq / 02/25/2015 at 11:21pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, I came home from work to find that my girlfriend had sold all of my N64 and Atari games and both the consoles and bought me a PS4 with the money. While I was standing there in shock, she kissed me on the cheek and said, "I know, I'm the greatest." FML
by Anonymous / 02/22/2015 at 3:41pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/21/2015 at 9:44pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend got her wisdom teeth removed. I really want to help her out while she recovers, but her swollen cheeks combined with her natural buck teeth keep making me crack up every time I see her. I can't help it and I'm now in the doghouse. FML
by Anonymous / 02/21/2015 at 9:20am / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Love
- Today, the guy I have been seeing stopped me in the middle of sex and told me to finish him off by… Today, my dad gave me a promise ring on my one year anniversary with my boyfriend and made me swear… Today, my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. He didn't know how to take off…