JocelynKaulitz

Search for a member

Offline (3 hours ago)

JocelynKaulitz

144Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Fullerton, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 August 1994 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 14980
  • Number of comments : 483
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About JocelynKaulitz : Name's Jocelyn, get at me babes!

JocelynKaulitz's page activity

Visits<b>frankmz</b> - 4 hours ago<b>TheOrangeSkittle</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 2:58am<b>eyepuppy</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 6:55am<b>jbivens1992</b> - the 04/24/2016 at 1:37am<b>dominguez89</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 3:55am<b>PissedTumor</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 11:15pm<b>silentj46290</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 8:56am<b>orbit</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 9:25pm<b>cheeky_booty</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 8:03pm<b>Kayouri</b> - the 04/17/2016 at 2:56pm<b>SorrowsReward</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 7:25am<b>madous</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 9:37am<b>The666Ghost</b> - the 04/11/2016 at 10:19am<b>LaprasTV</b> - the 04/09/2016 at 9:33pm<b>salii321</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 3:22am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 8:58pm<b>george_s_4</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 11:38am<b>Raelthelamb</b> - the 03/18/2016 at 11:39pm

Fucked!<b>dominguez89</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 9:55am<b>silentj46290</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 2:56pm<b>SorrowsReward</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 1:25pm<b>A07</b> - the 03/15/2016 at 9:20pm<b>cheesyfeet2001</b> - the 03/13/2016 at 3:38am<b>Nexa</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 4:14am<b>yayhoo16</b> - the 03/08/2016 at 3:06am<b>SeanV979</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 9:13pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 7:24am<b>igg125</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 10:24pm<b>nicolai44</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 7:33pm<b>extinct_dodo</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 3:02pm<b>tranced_</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 2:59pm<b>Nomaddict</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 1:57pm<b>flannelboss27</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 5:41pm<b>JusstJef</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 5:24pm<b>Technastar</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 3:23pm<b>Hrodrik</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 10:03pm

JocelynKaulitz's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

See all of JocelynKaulitz's badges

JocelynKaulitz's favorite FMLs

Today, my psychopathic ex-girlfriend spray-painted "Free Candy" on the side of my van, knowing damn well I have to park it in front of an elementary school on a daily basis to pick up my daughter. FML

by cjw / 03/05/2013 at 7:07pm / United States / Kids

Today, after working out at the gym, I went to grab my bag, and realized that my phone was missing. Panicking, I reached into my pocket, pulled out my phone, and dialed my mom's number to tell her I'd lost it. It took me until the last ring to realize what I was doing. FML

by Anonymous / 03/01/2013 at 2:02am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I managed to score a date for the first time in over a year, and was very nervous. When I was asked what I do for a living, I laughed nervously, and then blurted out, "Finger women." What I was trying to jokingly say was that I'm a gynecologist. FML

by notapervert / 02/28/2013 at 2:57am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I took my driver's test. I did everything flawlessly, but my examiner kept all but pissing his pants throughout. He yelled, "ARE YOU TRYING TO GET US KILLED?!" when I drove past a traffic light just as it was about to turn red. The road was almost empty. He failed me on the spot. FML

by Anonymous / 02/22/2013 at 8:47pm / Australia / Transportation

Today, I uploaded a new Facebook profile photo, which got over 20 likes in the space of an hour. The most I've ever gotten before was 10. Surprised, I went to check my picture again, only to notice two guys were sarcastically flipping me the bird in the background. FML

by club goer / 02/20/2013 at 2:48pm / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, for the first time in weeks, my wife felt frisky, and we started fooling around. Half-way through undressing me, she bolted out, claiming she had the shits. About five minutes later, she tearfully called out from the bathroom, begging me to bring her a fresh roll of toilet paper. FML

by FUCK GOD / 02/03/2013 at 6:04pm / Argentina (Salta) / Love

Today, I got so lonely I decided to make sock puppets and play with them. I played for four hours straight, only to be interrupted by a phone call. I didn't answer because my sock puppets were "on a date" and I didn't want to stop playing. FML

by ineedalife / 02/02/2013 at 7:08am / Australia / Miscellaneous

Today, during a date, I discovered that if I cough with my mouth closed, snot will spray from my nose all over the place like some kind of mucus cannon. FML

by Anonymous / 01/29/2013 at 4:23pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, on my shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML

by andy / 01/27/2013 at 11:36pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I went to buy a birthday present for my boyfriend. While buying him a sweater, the cashier tried to up-sale me by asking if my boyfriend wore briefs or boxers, because both were on sale. Not thinking, I blurted out, "I don't know, they just come off." FML

by awkwardturtle / 01/25/2013 at 12:31am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went and bought lunch for all the people I work with. The only meal the place forgot was mine. FML

by me / 01/22/2013 at 1:49pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, I found a lost dog and called the owner. When he arrived, I thought it would be cute to put the dog down so he would run back into his owner's arms, like in movies. As soon as I put the dog down, it ran away again. FML

by DrakeB / 01/20/2013 at 11:34am / United States (Washington) / Animals

Today, my daughter learned a new song. This would be great, except for the lisp her teacher has. I now have a child screaming about the "itchy bitchy spider" at the top of her lungs. FML

by ugh / 01/08/2013 at 8:01pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids

Today, while talking to one of my parents' friends, we discovered that the house he grew up in is the same house my boyfriend now lives in. When he recalled that he lost his first tooth there, the only response I could come up with was, "Oh my gosh, I lost my virginity there!" FML

by anonymous / 01/03/2013 at 5:34am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up with an engagement ring on my left hand. The same one I refused last month. My boyfriend apparently waited for me to be drunk to propose again last night, and has already posted the pics on Facebook. FML

by Anonymous / 12/28/2012 at 10:14am / Canada (Quebec) / Love