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JocelynKaulitz

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JocelynKaulitz

53Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 August 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 10185
  • Number of comments : 447
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About JocelynKaulitz : Just keeping it irie.

Name's Jocelyn!

JocelynKaulitz's page activity

Visits<b>elusiveshame</b> - 8 minutes ago<b>martin8337</b> - 49 minutes ago<b>TJJOE</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 2:26pm<b>jaydots</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 12:53am<b>TheBeast26</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 9:32pm<b>trumpet_player99</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 8:49am<b>screamogirl123</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 7:27pm<b>Spetz14</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 11:56pm<b>CloudyFromSteam</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 12:05pm<b>pks2014</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 3:06am<b>kooljac702</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 3:57am<b>Towns</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 3:17am<b>hardesty</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 10:29pm<b>sleepyfires</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 5:08pm<b>BunchieRules</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 2:45am<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 1:15am<b>BruhSRSLY</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 11:35pm<b>JayVicious</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 10:28pm

Liked!<b>elusiveshame</b> - just now<b>martin8337</b> - just now<b>hardesty</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 4:29am<b>pks2014</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 2:46am<b>kooljac702</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 4:05pm<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 5:11am<b>Hertyn</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 12:09am<b>papygeorges</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 11:00am<b>allstarrider</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 1:24pm<b>Wolfparable</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 1:08pm<b>tyler1916</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 2:00pm<b>incoherentrmblr</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 3:20am<b>morondon000</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 8:49am<b>christofferkamal</b> - the 01/03/2015 at 10:17am<b>Murkyy</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 1:40pm<b>mikethekid</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 9:56pm<b>MissEris</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 1:38pm<b>whereismyb4con</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 11:46am

JocelynKaulitz's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

See all of JocelynKaulitz's badges

JocelynKaulitz's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to spank the ferret in bed and spray me while singing the Spiderman theme song. FML

#20093277
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23004) - you deserved it (4581)

On 09/29/2012 at 5:14am - intimacy - by BabyG2222 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, in the middle of sex, my boyfriend sighed, said "I can't do this any more" and pulled out. After repeatedly asking him what was wrong, he basically told me that I suck in bed. Apparently, the way I "just lie there" makes him feel like a necrophile. FML

#20092519
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12093) - you deserved it (44926)

On 09/28/2012 at 5:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada

Today, my boyfriend excitedly showed me his new juicer, and used up all the fruit in the house making new concoctions. It was adorable until later on, in the middle of getting frisky, he asked if we could go to the grocery store to buy more fruit. FML

#20089658
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25139) - you deserved it (2933)

On 09/26/2012 at 2:46pm - intimacy - by Juiced (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my step-brother had some serious bowel distress and rushed to the bathroom. Because he forgot to quit his group chat with his buddies, I quickly found out that the reason he's so over-protective, and hostile to my male friends, is because he wants to get into my pants. FML

#20085042
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25445) - you deserved it (1909)

On 09/23/2012 at 12:50pm - misc - by creepedasfuck (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, my roommate came out of the bathroom, and asked me how the scales knew her weight in both pounds and kilos, even though "the exchange rate is always changing." I actually live with this idiot. FML

Today, I found out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. My dad noticed my depression and got me to tell him what was wrong. I told him everything, and trusting him to have an intelligent suggestion, I asked him what I should do. He shrugged and said, "Fuck, sue him, I dunno." FML

#20082521
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19978) - you deserved it (2437)

On 09/21/2012 at 7:20pm - love - by Pissed (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend picked me up from school. It was an unusually sweet gesture from him, and I was flattered. That is, until he told me to sit my ass in the back, so his dog could ride in front with him. FML

#20082214
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22319) - you deserved it (4301)

On 09/21/2012 at 3:10pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I dropped a whole batch of penis-shaped cookies on the floor. Then I thought, "5-second rule" and started eating them. And then I realized that I was home alone, in pajamas, eating broken dick-cookies off the floor. FML

#20081762
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22683) - you deserved it (12562)

On 09/21/2012 at 3:31am - misc - by RawrSparkle (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a stranger called me, saying I look hot in the bra I was wearing. When I hung up, thinking it was a joke, I opened the back door, and saw a man running away from my backyard. FML

#20079219
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30220) - you deserved it (1966)

On 09/19/2012 at 1:02pm - misc - by jitiizer (woman) - Netherlands (Friesland)

Today, I was excited to get my first writing assignment since starting law school. I found out that I have to write a paper defending free speech. This wouldn't be a problem if I didn't have to defend the Westboro Baptist Church and if I weren't a former Marine. FML

#20079105
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30758) - you deserved it (3165)

On 09/19/2012 at 10:54am - misc - by LawStudent (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I asked a girl I like to the movies. Wanting her to lean on me and stay in my arms during the movie, I chose a horror film. I screamed like a pussy the whole time. FML

#20078928
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7923) - you deserved it (39295)

On 09/19/2012 at 5:27am - love - by pussyface96 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I spent ten minutes looking for my cell phone in the dark, only to realize the light I was using was my cell phone's. FML

#20078695
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7633) - you deserved it (31170)

On 09/19/2012 at 12:14am - misc - by unaware - United States (Ohio)

Today, my daughter and her boyfriend excitedly told me that after months of trying they are finally pregnant and that I'm going to be a grandmother. This would be great news if they weren't 15. FML

#20077962
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44953) - you deserved it (6465)

On 09/18/2012 at 4:20pm - health - by GMD (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, I received the heels I'll be wearing at my best friend's wedding. The bride ordered them for us to match the dresses. They're six-inch platform heels. I have three broken toes and am still wearing a boot. The wedding is next weekend. FML

#20077221
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19274) - you deserved it (1683)

On 09/18/2012 at 12:35am - health - by AnnieThrax (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my nitwit son infected our family computer with some sort of mad bastard virus after getting fooled by the promise of some non-existent Hannah Montana nudes. FML

#20076697
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23276) - you deserved it (2746)

On 09/17/2012 at 7:25pm - kids - by StupidBerk (man) - United Kingdom



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