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JocelynKaulitz

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JocelynKaulitz

130Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 August 1994 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 14398
  • Number of comments : 477
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About JocelynKaulitz : Just keeping it irie.

Name's Jocelyn!

JocelynKaulitz's page activity

Visits<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 7:04am<b>duduv2</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 3:11am<b>ThuNDeY</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 2:49am<b>scaredpollo</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 2:58am<b>crocks97</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 3:20pm<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 6:22am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 5:56pm<b>insanelocket</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 12:35pm<b>paperbag77</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 8:02am<b>sheeshadevil</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 10:19pm<b>abattior</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 1:32am<b>Mons</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 12:24am<b>Tenker</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 11:24pm<b>ProfessorMctitie</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 11:24pm<b>pks2014</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 8:20pm<b>Shayn_25</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 5:29pm<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 5:12pm<b>Xandler</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 2:46pm

Fucked!<b>flannelboss27</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 5:41pm<b>JusstJef</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 5:24pm<b>Technastar</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 3:23pm<b>Hrodrik</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 10:03pm<b>ManUtdFan743</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 1:03pm<b>allred1997</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 9:59am<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 11/30/2015 at 10:10am<b>pete9913</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 9:34pm<b>alex_gen</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 10:01am<b>barisozdemir</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 12:21pm<b>int15</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 8:04pm<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 5:41am<b>enginsteve</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 5:15am<b>Y0UI34574RD</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 10:15pm<b>clearlyroo440</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 9:01pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 5:40am<b>beeferjay</b> - the 11/06/2015 at 8:17pm<b>Crossing</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 4:48pm

JocelynKaulitz's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

See all of JocelynKaulitz's badges

JocelynKaulitz's favorite FMLs

Today, after working out at the gym, I went to grab my bag, and realized that my phone was missing. Panicking, I reached into my pocket, pulled out my phone, and dialed my mom's number to tell her I'd lost it. It took me until the last ring to realize what I was doing. FML

#20526546
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12245) - you deserved it (39882)

On 03/01/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I managed to score a date for the first time in over a year, and was very nervous. When I was asked what I do for a living, I laughed nervously, and then blurted out, "Finger women." What I was trying to jokingly say was that I'm a gynecologist. FML

#20525332
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17982) - you deserved it (37696)

On 02/28/2013 at 2:57am - love - by notapervert - United States (California)

Today, I took my driver's test. I did everything flawlessly, but my examiner kept all but pissing his pants throughout. He yelled, "ARE YOU TRYING TO GET US KILLED?!" when I drove past a traffic light just as it was about to turn red. The road was almost empty. He failed me on the spot. FML

#20517994
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13852) - you deserved it (50347)

On 02/22/2013 at 8:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, I uploaded a new Facebook profile photo, which got over 20 likes in the space of an hour. The most I've ever gotten before was 10. Surprised, I went to check my picture again, only to notice two guys were sarcastically flipping me the bird in the background. FML

#20514955
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30017) - you deserved it (8105)

On 02/20/2013 at 2:48pm - misc - by club goer - Canada

Today, for the first time in weeks, my wife felt frisky, and we started fooling around. Half-way through undressing me, she bolted out, claiming she had the shits. About five minutes later, she tearfully called out from the bathroom, begging me to bring her a fresh roll of toilet paper. FML

#20491900
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34109) - you deserved it (4638)

On 02/03/2013 at 6:04pm - love - by FUCK GOD (man) - Argentina (Salta)

Today, I got so lonely I decided to make sock puppets and play with them. I played for four hours straight, only to be interrupted by a phone call. I didn't answer because my sock puppets were "on a date" and I didn't want to stop playing. FML

#20489987
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33961) - you deserved it (21484)

On 02/02/2013 at 7:08am - misc - by ineedalife (woman) - Australia

Today, during a date, I discovered that if I cough with my mouth closed, snot will spray from my nose all over the place like some kind of mucus cannon. FML

#20484952
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31897) - you deserved it (6664)

On 01/29/2013 at 4:23pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, on my shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML

#20482313
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41058) - you deserved it (2699)

On 01/27/2013 at 11:36pm - kids - by andy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to buy a birthday present for my boyfriend. While buying him a sweater, the cashier tried to up-sale me by asking if my boyfriend wore briefs or boxers, because both were on sale. Not thinking, I blurted out, "I don't know, they just come off." FML

#20477493
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29067) - you deserved it (13342)

On 01/25/2013 at 12:31am - misc - by awkwardturtle (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went and bought lunch for all the people I work with. The only meal the place forgot was mine. FML

#20473074
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32603) - you deserved it (3169)

On 01/22/2013 at 1:49pm - work - by me - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found a lost dog and called the owner. When he arrived, I thought it would be cute to put the dog down so he would run back into his owner's arms, like in movies. As soon as I put the dog down, it ran away again. FML

#20469405
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19913) - you deserved it (42042)

On 01/20/2013 at 11:34am - animals - by DrakeB (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my daughter learned a new song. This would be great, except for the lisp her teacher has. I now have a child screaming about the "itchy bitchy spider" at the top of her lungs. FML

#20448629
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37921) - you deserved it (3055)

On 01/08/2013 at 8:01pm - kids - by ugh (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while talking to one of my parents' friends, we discovered that the house he grew up in is the same house my boyfriend now lives in. When he recalled that he lost his first tooth there, the only response I could come up with was, "Oh my gosh, I lost my virginity there!" FML

#20440379
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12775) - you deserved it (43124)

On 01/03/2013 at 5:34am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up with an engagement ring on my left hand. The same one I refused last month. My boyfriend apparently waited for me to be drunk to propose again last night, and has already posted the pics on Facebook. FML

#20427625
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41595) - you deserved it (15465)

On 12/28/2012 at 10:14am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I had to get to class at 9:00 to take a test. I woke up at 6:00, and figured I could wait a few minutes before getting ready. The next thing I knew, it was 10:30. FML

#20200420
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22939) - you deserved it (23887)

On 12/11/2012 at 1:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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