Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

JocelynKaulitz

Offline (the 03/27/2015 at 11:21pm) | Search for a member

JocelynKaulitz

63Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 August 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 10892
  • Number of comments : 449
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About JocelynKaulitz : Just keeping it irie.

Name's Jocelyn!

JocelynKaulitz's page activity

Visits<b>TheBeast26</b> - 3 hours ago<b>Aes0p</b> - 10 hours ago<b>arasx0</b> - 11 hours ago<b>ItsaBucsLife</b> - 16 hours ago<b>MrFloooo</b> - 22 hours ago<b>seenoevil818</b> - 23 hours ago<b>Ecudaniel</b> - yesterday at 1:18am<b>levention</b> - yesterday at 12:11am<b>farcryjohn</b> - yesterday at 11:37pm<b>NH_Freelancer</b> - yesterday at 11:18pm<b>kjblack</b> - yesterday at 1:58pm<b>tchatfield9413</b> - yesterday at 9:28am<b>Damafia</b> - yesterday at 9:05am<b>KenzieRose77</b> - yesterday at 7:33am<b>martin8337</b> - yesterday at 6:04am<b>ChubChubxx</b> - yesterday at 5:54am<b>tiger1</b> - yesterday at 5:04am<b>Greions</b> - yesterday at 3:27am

Liked!<b>NH_Freelancer</b> - 22 hours ago<b>expertsmilee</b> - yesterday at 5:35am<b>ali282h</b> - yesterday at 3:31am<b>rjc490</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 4:58pm<b>tot5t</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 8:00pm<b>natyemi15</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 5:08pm<b>erjgyflover</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 8:25pm<b>atrumX</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 8:07am<b>powerkeep</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 4:09pm<b>Corey122726</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 2:21pm<b>elusiveshame</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 12:37pm<b>martin8337</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 11:57am<b>pks2014</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 2:46am<b>kooljac702</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 4:05pm<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 5:11am<b>Hertyn</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 12:09am<b>papygeorges</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 11:00am<b>allstarrider</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 1:24pm

JocelynKaulitz's FML badges

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of JocelynKaulitz's badges

JocelynKaulitz's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try flavored condoms. I guess I enjoyed them a little too much; I almost choked half to death on a strawberry cockcicle. FML

#20961988
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44594) - you deserved it (18017)

On 11/18/2013 at 10:26am - intimacy - by flavored (woman) - United States

Today, while I was in a bathroom stall, the guy next to me asked me for toilet paper. It was then that I realized I didn't have any either. FML

#20957459
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41284) - you deserved it (4444)

On 11/14/2013 at 11:44am - misc - by CallmeEddie - United States (Illinois)

Today, my husband and I went for our 20 week scan and found out we're having a girl. The first thing he said to me was, "The next one better be a boy or I'm leaving you". FML

#20952357
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51573) - you deserved it (4582)

On 11/10/2013 at 5:28am - kids - by Naomi - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my family got together for a big game of paintball. My grandpa wanted to play too, but I told him he was a bit too old for such a rough sport. He joined anyway, and spent the whole 2 hours hunting my dumb ass down. I'm now in constant pain after being riddled with paintballs. FML

#20941762
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21472) - you deserved it (50369)

On 11/01/2013 at 7:55pm - health - by nl4 (man) - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, my grandma has been running around the neighborhood, dressed as Bobo the Evil Clown, chasing trick-or-treaters. All I've been able to do is chase after her, and apologize to the terrified children's families. FML

#20941017
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38202) - you deserved it (3381)

On 11/01/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by bobosgonnagetyou - United States (Oregon)

Today, I'm severely sunburned and can barely walk properly. My boyfriend keeps telling his friends that it's because of "how hard he gave it to me last night". FML

#20936372
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52454) - you deserved it (9220)

On 10/28/2013 at 12:51am - intimacy - by snowwhite (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend told me how jealous he gets when I "hang out" with Dylan. Dylan is the 5-year-old boy whom I babysit every day. My boyfriend wants me to stop, because apparently Dylan cockblocks him. FML

#20933884
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45137) - you deserved it (4966)

On 10/25/2013 at 8:49pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my dog got out of the house. I was running after him and remembered the old "pretend you're hurt" trick. I got on the ground, and cried out as if I was hurt. My dog just kept running. FML

Today, I got a call from my daughter’s school today. She had been telling the teacher, "I have a huge boner." Apparently, some of the kids at school told her it meant 'headache' and she's been saying it all day. FML

#20928358
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42979) - you deserved it (3314)

On 10/20/2013 at 11:51pm - kids - by momaaa1342 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I convinced my father that "Juanito", our relative who needed money for immediate surgery in Mexico was a stranger attempting to scam him. I was $1400 too late. FML

#20922898
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41069) - you deserved it (3678)

On 10/16/2013 at 5:05pm - money - by . (woman) - United States

Today, some ass-bandit broke into my house by smashing a window, just so he could steal the ancient VHS cassette player that my wife wouldn't let me throw away. Thanks, scumbag, but the front door was unlocked. FML

#20919168
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45653) - you deserved it (4018)

On 10/13/2013 at 5:50pm - money - by and she blames me -_- (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my new deodorant caused an allergic reaction, covering my armpits in a painful rash. I've had to awkwardly waddle around all day with my arms splayed outwards to get any relief. One customer at work sarcastically mentioned that it's nice that they're hiring penguins these days. FML

#20909610
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39517) - you deserved it (3346)

On 10/06/2013 at 1:40pm - health - by _/ | \_ (woman) - Singapore

Today, I sent my boyfriend a text asking him to come over a little later and have some "fun" with me. He texted back, "WTF babe? Breaking Bad's on tonight. You got a dildo, fucking use it." FML

#20900698
294 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63571) - you deserved it (26415)

On 09/29/2013 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by -___- (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found tiny little maggots in the bristles of my toothbrush. I have no idea how long they've been there. FML

Today, I realised I sweat so much that I won't be able to go without sticking super pads with wings to my shirt underarms everyday. It makes supermarket trips interesting. Especially as a man. FML

#20895380
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35722) - you deserved it (3531)

On 09/25/2013 at 6:37am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: