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JocelynKaulitz

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JocelynKaulitz
  • Town/Country : California, US
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 August 1994 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 4217
  • Number of comments : 388
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About JocelynKaulitz : 'Cause I'm a picker, I'm a grinner, I'm a lover, and I'm a sinner.
I play my music in the sun.

Name's Jocelyn.

JocelynKaulitz's last visitors

JRT1393jojj351rarescBooda_ShunKissMyKmarulickoswarm20Wolvander88Arni792JustClaire95

JocelynKaulitz's FML badges

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An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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JocelynKaulitz's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out where all my missing panties have gone, when my 12-year-old daughter was caught selling them to the boys at school. FML

#19598679
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26076) - you deserved it (2795)

On 05/09/2012 at 6:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Egypt (Al Qahirah)

Today, I told my girlfriend that I would still care for her if she was a vegetable. She informed me that if I was a potato, she would cut me into chips. And fry me. FML

#19459433
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18347) - you deserved it (6065)

On 04/13/2012 at 12:46am - love - by jesifairy - Australia

Today, I was at a party, when the cops busted us. Since I'm underage, I hid behind a chair for an hour and a half while they breathalyzed everyone and sat them in the same room I was in. The cops left, everyone realized I was behind the chair, and now my nickname is "Anne Frank". FML

#19455929
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11938) - you deserved it (30230)

On 04/12/2012 at 2:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was eating a banana, and decided to practice my blowjob skills, since my boyfriend is always complaining that I'm bad at giving head. Let's just say my lungs now have their daily dose of potassium. FML

#19450302
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8439) - you deserved it (30610)

On 04/11/2012 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by potassiumgirl - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend and I went to a basketball game. A very pretty woman sat next to him. During the third quarter, the kiss cam came on. But it didn't show him and me, it showed him and the other girl. And they kissed. FML

#19426684
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42698) - you deserved it (2952)

On 04/07/2012 at 11:19pm - love - by jordyn173 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my boyfriend gave me a hickey. On my forehead. FML

#19394334
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23829) - you deserved it (8991)

On 04/02/2012 at 10:02am - love - by IloveJapan (woman) - Japan

Today, I found out that sex in the woods is amazing. I also found that the roar of a nearby bear will end the amazement. Not only was I cock blocked by a bear, I almost shit myself. FML

#19323804
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23357) - you deserved it (5777)

On 03/21/2012 at 11:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, since I was grounded, I tried to sneak out of my room to attend a party by climbing out the second-storey window and down the tree. I was unharmed, but I probably should have checked to see if my dad was in the garden before climbing down. FML

#19312594
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6073) - you deserved it (41344)

On 03/20/2012 at 5:47am - misc - by treehugger - Singapore

Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up on my dad while he was rummaging through his briefcase. He must have heard me, because the moment I got up close, he whirled around and yelled "BOO!" causing me to scream like a little bitch. FML

#19263834
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5196) - you deserved it (23365)

On 03/12/2012 at 10:55am - misc - by gengiskarn69 (man) - United States

Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up on my dad while he was rummaging through his briefcase. He must have heard me, because the moment I got up close, he whirled around and yelled "BOO!" causing me to scream like a little bitch. FML

#19263834
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5196) - you deserved it (23365)

On 03/12/2012 at 10:55am - misc - by gengiskarn69 (man) - United States

Today, I discovered how startling it is to wake up by having your cat springboard off your face. The intended prey? Two fornicating geckos on the ceiling. FML

Today, I accidentally told my mom to ejaculate the flash drive from the PC. FML

#18976293
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15369) - you deserved it (19662)

On 02/02/2012 at 1:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - India

Today, my parents had a long discussion on whether a cut on my arm looked like a vagina. FML

#18921223
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20386) - you deserved it (1914)

On 01/26/2012 at 11:07pm - misc - by HylianFox (woman) - United States

Today, my parents had a long discussion on whether a cut on my arm looked like a vagina. FML

#18921223
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20386) - you deserved it (1914)

On 01/26/2012 at 11:07pm - misc - by HylianFox (woman) - United States

Today, I admitted my fear of small spaces to my boyfriend. His response was to immediately lock me in the hall closet. FML

#18918439
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23570) - you deserved it (3922)

On 01/26/2012 at 6:50pm - health - by Bailyboo (woman) - United States (Minnesota)



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