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  • Town/Country : Fullerton, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 August 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 17044
  • Number of comments : 504
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About JocelynKaulitz : Name's Jocelyn, get at me babes!

JocelynKaulitz's page activity

Visits<b>Sleepy1995</b> - 16 hours ago<b>nicolai44</b> - yesterday at 7:11pm<b>nreed32</b> - yesterday at 2:31pm<b>bigbrown24</b> - yesterday at 10:31am<b>kintoki25</b> - the 10/22/2016 at 7:12pm<b>fierofan</b> - the 10/22/2016 at 3:40pm<b>eyepuppy</b> - the 10/22/2016 at 1:52pm<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 10/22/2016 at 1:33pm<b>saltyacs</b> - the 10/22/2016 at 11:27am<b>Talented73</b> - the 10/22/2016 at 10:49am<b>mikethekid07</b> - the 10/22/2016 at 10:02am<b>sandman676</b> - the 10/22/2016 at 8:55am<b>mbdresnick</b> - the 10/22/2016 at 8:16am<b>jab7769</b> - the 10/22/2016 at 7:54am<b>RCSLASH</b> - the 10/17/2016 at 2:24pm<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 10/06/2016 at 10:34pm<b>Iwannarock1</b> - the 10/05/2016 at 1:40am<b>trashyant</b> - the 10/04/2016 at 8:44pm

Fucked!<b>Sleepy1995</b> - 10 hours ago<b>mikethekid07</b> - the 10/22/2016 at 4:02pm<b>sandman676</b> - the 10/22/2016 at 2:55pm<b>Willman757</b> - the 10/04/2016 at 2:15pm<b>mariusakke</b> - the 10/03/2016 at 10:10pm<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 10/03/2016 at 6:01am<b>Generalleroy</b> - the 10/02/2016 at 7:56pm<b>stryder9090</b> - the 10/02/2016 at 4:12pm<b>Steve95401</b> - the 10/02/2016 at 2:22pm<b>roock87</b> - the 09/08/2016 at 10:44pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 08/29/2016 at 1:23am<b>awildwhisper</b> - the 08/23/2016 at 3:27am<b>Unlovable_Me</b> - the 08/22/2016 at 4:12pm<b>iron_man_583</b> - the 08/21/2016 at 5:33pm<b>ciaraash</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 11:57pm<b>Maloonatic</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 6:24pm<b>Motocrosskid87</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 2:43pm<b>xxdlp3000xdd</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 11:42am

JocelynKaulitz's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

See all of JocelynKaulitz's badges

JocelynKaulitz's favorite FMLs

Today, at work, I needed to fart and thought it would be fast and silent, so I let it rip. I was wrong. Everyone turned around and looked at me as my fart rolled on for a good 10 seconds. The worst part, I screamed, "It wasn't me!" while I was still farting. FML

by Loud / 09/08/2016 at 2:07am / Australia / Work

Today, at the store, I didn't hear the cashier when she asked if I had a loyalty card. She took one look at my naturally bitchy-looking face and muttered "It's my JOB to ask, jeez." FML

by Anonymous / 07/16/2016 at 1:53pm / United States (Utah) / Work

Today, I found out about my sister's insanely detailed plan to abduct my one-year-old son and raise him as her own on another continent. All my mom did was tell me not to worry because she can't afford to move that far away. FML

Today, I was having a wet dream and had a pretty vivid imagination. I ended up thrusting so hard that it showed up in reality. I literally humped so hard that I woke myself up. Not only that, but I was sleeping on the living room floor so my roommates saw and now it's their joke of the day. FML

by Anonymous / 01/17/2016 at 1:41pm / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, I was kayaking with my friend. We figured it'd be awesome if I jumped from my kayak straight into his. Sounded good in theory. One flipped kayak, a pair of lost glasses and a humiliating swim back to shore later, I'm starting to think it wasn't the best idea. FML

by Anonymous / 12/19/2015 at 12:44am / Miscellaneous

Today, my constant constipation has become a running joke in my family; I heard my mom tell my dad that if he wants to keep his Christmas presents safe, he should ask me to eat them. FML

by aswamk / 12/19/2015 at 12:01am / Pakistan (Sindh) / Health

Today, I was giving my friend a crash course in Star Wars over coffee. As I was telling him about the primitive and savage Sand People, some attention-seeking tit came out of nowhere and called me racist. Apparently she thought I was talking about people from the Middle East. FML

by Anonymous / 12/18/2015 at 2:58pm / Australia (Victoria) / Geek

Today, I had been stress-eating a lot of junk food during finals week at college. I was feeling worried about my figure, and lifted up my shirt to see myself in the mirror. My boyfriend, who I didn't know was watching, promptly said, "Whoa babe, it looks like the condom broke!" FML

by pregnantapparently / 12/10/2015 at 1:45pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, my husband put on a nice suit and asked me out to dinner. When he found out I was on my period, he decided to stay home instead, since there was "no point" anymore. FML

by alexa / 12/08/2015 at 12:14pm / Germany (Bayern) / Love

Today, I decided it was time to have "the talk" with my daughter, after I found a thong in the washing machine. She denied it was hers and pointed out how it was too big to fit her. I ended up having a very different talk with my son. FML

by caroline / 10/29/2015 at 4:02pm / Germany / Kids

Today, I noticed a guy checking out my ass in the mirror behind the bar where I work. He was cute, so I thought I'd put on a little show. I bent over to reach for something near the floor, which caused me to let rip a series of uncontrollable farts, like popping bubble wrap. He quickly left. FML

by bubblewrap / 10/20/2015 at 6:13am / United Kingdom (Swindon) / Love

Today, my girlfriend and I were trying to get it on on the bed. As soon as things were starting to get heated, I turned over and saw that my dog had not only jumped up on the bed, but had been watching and started to hump the pillow next to our heads. FML

by GiveADogABone / 10/15/2015 at 6:47pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, while having lunch with my grandparents, my grandpa's eyes glazed over, his head fell and he slumped in his chair. I started panicking and almost cried, thinking he was dead. Then he laughed and said "Just kidding. I'm fine." FML

by Anonymous / 10/09/2015 at 2:02pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, at the swimming pool, I thought it'd be funny to sneak up on my 5-year-old daughter underwater and surprise her. I grabbed her by the sides, and she shrieked. A moment later, a brown cloud erupted from her swimsuit. Cue screaming and a mass panic from the other kids. FML

by Anonymous / 10/03/2015 at 3:00am / United States (Minnesota) / Kids

Today, I had an argument with my boyfriend who was accusing me of only being in a relationship with him because I'd fantasised about being with an Asian. When I told him he was wrong, he asked me what attracted me to him in the first place. "Your eyes" was definitely the wrong answer. FML

by Anonyme / 09/02/2015 at 12:21am / Love