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JocelynKaulitz

Offline (the 02/08/2016 at 8:56pm) | Search for a member

JocelynKaulitz

130Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 August 1994 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 14384
  • Number of comments : 477
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About JocelynKaulitz : Just keeping it irie.

Name's Jocelyn!

JocelynKaulitz's page activity

Visits<b>michaelm1290</b> - yesterday at 7:04am<b>duduv2</b> - yesterday at 3:11am<b>ThuNDeY</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 2:49am<b>scaredpollo</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 2:58am<b>crocks97</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 3:20pm<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 6:22am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 5:56pm<b>insanelocket</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 12:35pm<b>paperbag77</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 8:02am<b>sheeshadevil</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 10:19pm<b>abattior</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 1:32am<b>Mons</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 12:24am<b>Tenker</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 11:24pm<b>ProfessorMctitie</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 11:24pm<b>pks2014</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 8:20pm<b>Shayn_25</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 5:29pm<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 5:12pm<b>Xandler</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 2:46pm

Fucked!<b>flannelboss27</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 5:41pm<b>JusstJef</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 5:24pm<b>Technastar</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 3:23pm<b>Hrodrik</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 10:03pm<b>ManUtdFan743</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 1:03pm<b>allred1997</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 9:59am<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 11/30/2015 at 10:10am<b>pete9913</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 9:34pm<b>alex_gen</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 10:01am<b>barisozdemir</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 12:21pm<b>int15</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 8:04pm<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 5:41am<b>enginsteve</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 5:15am<b>Y0UI34574RD</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 10:15pm<b>clearlyroo440</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 9:01pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 5:40am<b>beeferjay</b> - the 11/06/2015 at 8:17pm<b>Crossing</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 4:48pm

JocelynKaulitz's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

See all of JocelynKaulitz's badges

JocelynKaulitz's favorite FMLs

Today, I was having a wet dream and had a pretty vivid imagination. I ended up thrusting so hard that it showed up in reality. I literally humped so hard that I woke myself up. Not only that, but I was sleeping on the living room floor so my roommates saw and now it's their joke of the day. FML

#21516257
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20561) - you deserved it (3240)

On 01/17/2016 at 1:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was kayaking with my friend. We figured it'd be awesome if I jumped from my kayak straight into his. Sounded good in theory. One flipped kayak, a pair of lost glasses and a humiliating swim back to shore later, I'm starting to think it wasn't the best idea. FML

#21505367
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9187) - you deserved it (24195)

On 12/19/2015 at 12:44am - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, my constant constipation has become a running joke in my family; I heard my mom tell my dad that if he wants to keep his Christmas presents safe, he should ask me to eat them. FML

#21505211
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19518) - you deserved it (1567)

On 12/19/2015 at 12:01am - health - by aswamk - Pakistan (Sindh)

Today, I was giving my friend a crash course in Star Wars over coffee. As I was telling him about the primitive and savage Sand People, some attention-seeking tit came out of nowhere and called me racist. Apparently she thought I was talking about people from the Middle East. FML

#21505182
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22360) - you deserved it (1940)

On 12/18/2015 at 2:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had been stress-eating a lot of junk food during finals week at college. I was feeling worried about my figure, and lifted up my shirt to see myself in the mirror. My boyfriend, who I didn't know was watching, promptly said, "Whoa babe, it looks like the condom broke!" FML

#21502268
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23104) - you deserved it (3029)

On 12/10/2015 at 1:45pm - love - by pregnantapparently (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my husband put on a nice suit and asked me out to dinner. When he found out I was on my period, he decided to stay home instead, since there was "no point" anymore. FML

#21501460
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25211) - you deserved it (2447)

On 12/08/2015 at 12:14pm - love - by alexa (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I decided it was time to have "the talk" with my daughter, after I found a thong in the washing machine. She denied it was hers and pointed out how it was too big to fit her. I ended up having a very different talk with my son. FML

#21485867
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27394) - you deserved it (2743)

On 10/29/2015 at 4:02pm - kids - by caroline (woman) - Germany

Today, I noticed a guy checking out my ass in the mirror behind the bar where I work. He was cute, so I thought I'd put on a little show. I bent over to reach for something near the floor, which caused me to let rip a series of uncontrollable farts, like popping bubble wrap. He quickly left. FML

#21482104
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24836) - you deserved it (10884)

On 10/20/2015 at 6:13am - love - by bubblewrap (woman) - United Kingdom (Swindon)

Today, my girlfriend and I were trying to get it on on the bed. As soon as things were starting to get heated, I turned over and saw that my dog had not only jumped up on the bed, but had been watching and started to hump the pillow next to our heads. FML

#21480502
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25526) - you deserved it (3197)

On 10/15/2015 at 6:47pm - intimacy - by GiveADogABone - United States

Today, while having lunch with my grandparents, my grandpa's eyes glazed over, his head fell and he slumped in his chair. I started panicking and almost cried, thinking he was dead. Then he laughed and said "Just kidding. I'm fine." FML

#21477928
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25333) - you deserved it (2493)

On 10/09/2015 at 2:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, at the swimming pool, I thought it'd be funny to sneak up on my 5-year-old daughter underwater and surprise her. I grabbed her by the sides, and she shrieked. A moment later, a brown cloud erupted from her swimsuit. Cue screaming and a mass panic from the other kids. FML

#21475579
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22575) - you deserved it (11675)

On 10/03/2015 at 3:00am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I told my boyfriend I was horny and was waiting for him at my place. 30 minutes later, he still hadn't arrived, so I called him and asked if he was coming. He replied "Already did, right into a kleenex." and hung up. FML

#21420621
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32344) - you deserved it (4106)

On 06/04/2015 at 8:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my 14 year old brother and 9 year old sister were fighting. My brother said "You suck!" to my sister, and she replied with "You swallow!" FML

Today, some guy I passed in the street was so high out of his mind, he beat the crap out of me, thinking I was a piñata. FML

#21416582
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30324) - you deserved it (2641)

On 05/27/2015 at 10:21am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Mexico



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