Jjan04

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Offline (the 05/10/2016 at 8:47am)

Jjan04

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 14 September 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1607
  • Number of comments : 30
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Jjan04 : Taken

Jjan04's page activity

Visits<b>functioning</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 12:28am<b>TEZZ</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 6:03am<b>ajcrocks578</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 1:50am<b>AviatOfficial</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 1:06am<b>gshocker20</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 7:52pm<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 1:58pm<b>chloecandies</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 1:26am<b>sneakattacked</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 1:07am<b>annoyedchild</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 7:05am<b>NopeToThat</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 12:28am<b>noinspiration</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 8:40pm<b>aliceanon</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 8:37pm<b>IvonaNik</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 5:45pm<b>clrichmond2009</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 4:28pm<b>StevenMcCollum</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 4:06pm<b>theworstthing</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 3:27pm<b>tomwantssnow</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 2:46pm<b>XPhoenixFire</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 2:13pm

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Jjan04's favorite FMLs

Today, my niece, who is fifteen, convinced my six-year-old daughter that her name is spelled C-U-N-T, and just pronounced as Catherine. FML

by cuntsmom / 09/24/2013 at 12:47am / United States / Kids

Today, my doctor asked me to undo my bra so he could check my breathing without the straps restricting my lungs, I got home and told my friends how awkward it was. Not one of them has had this happen to them before. We all go to the same doctor. FML

by chestycough / 09/16/2013 at 12:35am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, one of my employees called in after his 8-hour shift, explaining that he had bed bugs at home, found one on his shirt, and thinks they are in the store. I own a mattress shop. They'd spread. FML

by icanteven / 09/11/2013 at 9:12pm / United States (Kentucky) / Work

Today, at my boyfriend's brother's house, I desperately needed to poop. After finishing my business, I realized the toilet wouldn't flush. I had to pull my poop out, wrap it in TP and make an excuse to go outside to throw it in a bush. The neighbor was watching. FML

by heyhijello / 09/09/2013 at 6:05pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband thought it would be acceptable to watch Breaking Bad on Netflix with my 4-year-old in the room. What happened to be the only line he picked up? "Well heil Hitler, bitch!" I found out from his preschool teacher. FML

by Anonymous / 09/03/2013 at 12:13am / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, while I was sleeping, apparently I rolled over towards my fiancé and told him "We gotta save the turtles!" and had a five seconds long fart. Now he won't stop making fun of me. FML

by fartz / 08/31/2013 at 2:04am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I did something I'd always wanted to do: I went swimming with dolphins. It was really fun, until I went to kiss the dolphin, and she slipped her tongue half into my mouth. FML

by violated ._. / 08/22/2013 at 6:45pm / United States / Animals

Today, I gave my daughter the sex talk. Barely 10 minutes later, her public Facebook status read: "My mom's a total pedo." and after she mentioned the talk, her friend posted, "That's sexual harassment. You can sue for that." Clearly I've failed as a parent. FML

by Anonymous / 08/16/2013 at 5:05pm / United States (Missouri) / Kids

Today, I was verbally abused by a customer at my job. Apparently, wearing "ugly, thick-framed hipster glasses as a fashion statement is a HUGE faux pas." These are my actual prescription glasses, and "faux pas" is not pronounced "fox paws". FML

by hipster glasses / 08/16/2013 at 7:08am / United States / Work

Today, after swimming in the pool, I went into the shower. Little did I know that my niece was hiding in there. She excitedly yelled "I saw your boobs!" Now my nephew won't stop crying because he didn't get to see them as well. FML

by Anonymous / 08/10/2013 at 8:04pm / United States (Nevada) / Kids

Today, I went to my boss's dinner party. My sister, who also works with me, sat across from me at the table. I felt her kick me so I kicked her back. Then I heard something start crying. It was the boss's baby crawling under the table. FML

by offuckingcourse / 08/06/2013 at 1:07am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, my wife of 12 years informed me that the only sexual activity she is interested in is foreplay, and she absolutely doesn't want to go any further than that anymore. FML

by tigger2013 / 08/03/2013 at 12:01am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, I was talking to my girlfriend about how I'm jealous of her best guy friend always hanging around her. She responded by saying, "Wait, I thought you knew I was dating him too?" FML

by ttREZZ / 07/27/2013 at 1:02am / United States (Indiana) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was in a training about the newest changes in CPR. The trainer was discussing chest compression techniques and said she prefers "good, fast, hard pumping." I was the only one who snickered out loud, drawing several annoyed looks from the other trainees. I'm a 45-year-old doctor. FML

by Anonymous / 07/25/2013 at 11:15pm / United States (North Carolina) / Work

Today, my boyfriend posted a screenshot from a porno on my Facebook, because the girl in it looked freakishly similar to me. My dad commented, asking for a link to the video. FML

by Anonymous / 07/22/2013 at 3:08pm / Trinidad and Tobago (Port-of-Spain) / Miscellaneous