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Jiplo's favorite FMLs
Today, while driving home from school, I noticed one of our hot quarterbacks in the car behind me. Trying to impress him, I pulled into the driveway of an expensive-looking house. To my horror, he pulled in behind me and asked what I was doing at his house. FML
by brooke / 03/21/2012 at 1:12pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
Today, I was on the train ride home from a trip to Florida, and I gave my mom a call. While we talked, I made an offhand comment that all my friends back home must miss me. She knowingly asked if I meant my Sims and my cat. FML
by lyla / 03/20/2012 at 3:15pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Rapunzel / 03/18/2012 at 4:02pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
Today, I locked myself out of the house. After hours of ringing the doorbell and calling my roommate, I decided to break the window. When I finally got in, my roommate was waiting with a can of pepper spray. FML
by jamboooy / 03/18/2012 at 2:01am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by vanorav / 03/17/2012 at 10:41pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML
by Brian / 03/17/2012 at 10:32pm / United States (Washington) / Love
by Redhead4life / 03/17/2012 at 8:48pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
Today, I washed my sheets. They wouldn't dry quick enough, so I had to use my old Buzz Lightyear sheets. My new girlfriend took it upon herself to become a damn psychic and pay me a surprise visit right there and then. FML
by babysheets / 03/17/2012 at 12:22pm / Uruguay (Montevideo) / Love
by Anonymous / 03/17/2012 at 11:53am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by Taylor Easley / 03/17/2012 at 12:53am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by CDeVeney92 / 03/17/2012 at 12:37am / United States (Texas) / Work
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML
by Anonymous / 03/16/2012 at 4:23pm / Ireland / Intimacy
by elisabeth_pwnes / 03/16/2012 at 6:38am / Norway (Vestfold) / Love
by spermbankonlegs / 03/15/2012 at 10:21pm / United States (Ohio) / Love
Today, I was sitting in my school's crowded auditorium. When our single, abstinence-only ballsack of a Sex Ed teacher was announced to be stepping down due to being pregnant, I burst into uncontrollable laughter. My reward was aching sides and a week of detention. FML
by Anonymous / 03/15/2012 at 9:31pm / United States / Miscellaneous
- Today, I learned if you type my full name in Google Images, the 3rd thing that comes up is a naked… Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk… Today, as I snuck downstairs for a midnight movie, I witnessed my dad "polishing his wand" to Harry…