Jiplo

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Offline (the 09/05/2014 at 2:59am)

Jiplo

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 12529
  • Number of comments : 291
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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Jiplo's page activity

Visits<b>Adeptus_Astartes</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 4:15pm<b>freestyle_skier</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 11:52pm<b>night_and_day</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 2:21am<b>JRoddious</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 4:19pm<b>DEATHLORD</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 12:35am<b>daken96</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 1:20pm<b>cg1992</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 10:40pm<b>SadisticKittyCat</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 4:01pm<b>Radgears47</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 5:26am<b>Ann_Onyme</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 5:51pm<b>ItsAlly</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 2:53am<b>cwrocker</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 2:05pm<b>Clutz97</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 1:53am<b>ArtemisGide</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 4:46pm<b>dumb_engineer</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 9:49am<b>ThatNutOverThere</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 8:02pm<b>Fidge86</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 4:10pm<b>Flendre_scarlet</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 3:59pm

Fucked!<b>Radgears47</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 11:26am

Jiplo's FML badges

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Jiplo's favorite FMLs

Today, I was looking through my roommate's room trying to find a DVD, when I stumbled upon a bundle of pictures of me showering and sleeping. FML

Today, I rear ended a cop while talking on my cell phone. FML

by anon / 04/28/2012 at 10:31am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to explain to a customer how our hotel charged his card even though he has never stayed with us. Apparently his wife is a regular customer. I can't help but feel like a home-wrecker. FML

by Steve / 04/28/2012 at 9:57am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I was with a friend at the mall and I made eye contact and smiled at the worker at a smoothie stand that I went on a date with last year. He saw me, and then ducked down behind the register, where he remained while his coworker awkwardly leaned over him to take my order and money. FML

by ouch / 04/28/2012 at 2:54am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife woke me up by giving my erect penis a Chinese burn. FML

by poo4brains / 04/28/2012 at 12:42am / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Intimacy

Today, as I was crossing an intersection, a car ran a red light and almost hit me. This kind of thing happens a lot in my town so I'm used to almost being run-down, except this time it was a small boy on his father's lap steering. The dad was laughing. FML

by Diffy / 04/26/2012 at 7:49am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, as I was crossing an intersection, a car ran a red light and almost hit me. This kind of thing happens a lot in my town so I'm used to almost being run-down, except this time it was a small boy on his father's lap steering. The dad was laughing. FML

by Diffy / 04/26/2012 at 7:49am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was so lonely that I had a conversation with myself on my way home. It was only when I reached my apartment complex that I discovered that my neighbour had been walking behind me, laughing to himself the whole way. FML

by unfortunate / 04/25/2012 at 12:50am / Sweden / Miscellaneous

Today, my parents went out of town and I was home all alone. I put up party decorations such as streamers, balloons and confetti. Then, I drank out of red cups, crushed them up and put them all over the house. I didn't have a party, I just wanted to convince my family that I'm not a loser. FML

by Jaclk / 04/24/2012 at 5:28pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, it was my wedding day. With my best friend as the priest, she asked, "Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?" After saying I do, she then turned to him and asked, "Do you want to bang my friend?" Everyone laughed, except my already disapproving father. FML

by gottalovefriends / 04/23/2012 at 12:04am / United States (New Hampshire) / Love

Today, I realized that both my husband and son refer to me as "the bitch." FML

by stoggie96 / 04/22/2012 at 11:34am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I met a hot guy at the bar and we hit it off instantly. After a few drinks, he called a cab for us. When it arrived, I seducingly asked, "My place or yours?" He responds, "Both. I'll go to mine and you go to yours" and walked away. The cab driver laughed the whole way home. FML

by ultraattitude / 04/22/2012 at 3:01am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to a really cold feeling down below. I opened my eyes and saw my girlfriend grinning like a maniac and holding my crotch-sausage between two scissor blades. I screamed in terror like a little bitch, and she says I'm never gonna live this down. FML

by Hakimstah / 04/21/2012 at 1:38pm / Lebanon / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend dragged me along to one of her family's paintball matches. Her father is a former marine, and hates my guts. He kept going well out of his way to hunt me down and pump as many rounds into me as possible without causing a scene. FML

by fuck / 04/20/2012 at 10:48pm / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, I was pumping gas, when my daughter called me. After I hung up, I put my phone on the car roof while I grabbed my bag. I completely forgot about it and only realized when it shot off the roof as I braked at a traffic light. FML

by Katelyn / 04/20/2012 at 1:58pm / United States (California) / Transportation