Jiplo

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Offline (the 09/05/2014 at 2:59am)

Jiplo

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 12535
  • Number of comments : 291
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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Jiplo's page activity

Visits<b>Adeptus_Astartes</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 4:15pm<b>freestyle_skier</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 11:52pm<b>night_and_day</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 2:21am<b>JRoddious</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 4:19pm<b>DEATHLORD</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 12:35am<b>daken96</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 1:20pm<b>cg1992</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 10:40pm<b>SadisticKittyCat</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 4:01pm<b>Radgears47</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 5:26am<b>Ann_Onyme</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 5:51pm<b>ItsAlly</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 2:53am<b>cwrocker</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 2:05pm<b>Clutz97</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 1:53am<b>ArtemisGide</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 4:46pm<b>dumb_engineer</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 9:49am<b>ThatNutOverThere</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 8:02pm<b>Fidge86</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 4:10pm<b>Flendre_scarlet</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 3:59pm

Fucked!<b>Radgears47</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 11:26am

Jiplo's FML badges

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You have thumbed 5000 comments.

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Jiplo's favorite FMLs

Today, I was fiddling around with the thermostat at my new place. For a laugh, I twisted the knob all the way to 40° celsius, when it snapped off. I don't have a clue how to fix it. FML

by didntknowyoucouldbreakit / 10/06/2012 at 4:29pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered that my 12-year-old son has secretly been printing out and selling copies of the suggestive photos from my camera that I'd taken for my husband. He's been selling them to kids at school for a dollar each. FML

by Anonymous / 10/05/2012 at 7:02pm / United States (Arizona) / Kids

Today, I was invited to my boyfriend's house for dinner for the first time. His mom made a fantastic dinner, so I showed my appreciation by eating the lot. Apparently I was overdoing it because when I looked up everyone was staring. His dad muttered, "Slow the hell down." FML

by OhMeGerd / 10/05/2012 at 10:56am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was assigned to write a short story about what we imagine Earth to be like in 500 years, and daily conflicts people experience. My teacher loved it and read it aloud to the class. He asked for my inspiration, and I didn't have the heart to say that I ripped off Mass Effect 3. FML

by brianfantana32 / 09/12/2012 at 12:24am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my teacher assigned us teams in a class debate. I landed on the team that had to argue the obviously wrong point of view. When I finished, my teacher told me and the entire class how much I disturbed her, and how I reminded her of Hitler and Napoleon. FML

by anonymous / 09/05/2012 at 12:25pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I bought some perfume that I thought smelled absolutely amazing. Later, my boyfriend walked in, sniffed, and said, "What smells like bacon?" The bottle cost $83. They won't take a refund. FML

by baconlady / 08/31/2012 at 3:06am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was working the cash register. While helping a customer with her groceries, my bra snapped. I then had to ask my male boss if I could staple it back together. Thirty minutes later it snapped again. I then had to explain to my boss that I was too broke to buy a new one. FML

by thatgirl17 / 08/31/2012 at 1:23am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I got rear-ended. An old woman got out and came over to my car window. I thought she was coming to apologize and trade insurance companies. Instead, she poured her soda on my head, ran back into her car, and drove away. FML

by Anonymous / 08/30/2012 at 10:47pm / United States (Connecticut) / Transportation

Today, I was playing with my vibrator. I was getting close when all of a sudden it short-circuited and made a sound like a laughing clown, scaring me half to death. FML

by Geckosrock99 / 08/30/2012 at 10:45pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had to explain to my teacher that Czechoslovakia is no longer a country. She kicked me out of class when she found out I was right. FML

by Anonymous / 08/30/2012 at 2:33pm / United States (Maine) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to force myself to take a dump at school, even though I have severe restroom anxiety and shyness. I had finally relaxed enough to go when the tornado drills went off mid-dump, and 46 students and teachers packed into the bathroom with me. FML

by DamnTornadoAlley / 08/30/2012 at 1:55am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, while getting pretty intimate with my newlywed wife in the car, a cop turned his lights on. As he was walking up, I was trying to get my pants back on but they wouldn't fit over my knees. The cop just laughed and walked away. Turns out my wife had my pants on and I was trying to put hers on. FML

by Anonymous / 08/29/2012 at 5:37pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend texted me, saying, "I'm running a bath. Wanna come over and learn about water displacement?" I excitedly drove over, thinking he wanted to have some fun. No, he really did want to teach me about water displacement. FML

by Anonymous / 08/29/2012 at 12:38pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, I was at a job interview. The interviewer spoke to me for a few minutes, then said she would be right back, and left. I was left alone in a room for an hour and a half believing that it was a patience test. They closed the store for the day, leaving me in the interview room. FML

by Anonymous / 08/24/2012 at 11:31pm / United States (Arizona) / Work

Today, a baseball bat fell on my head while my boyfriend and I were cuddling. The same baseball bat that he keeps next to the bed, because he genuinely fears a zombie outbreak. FML

by Anonymous / 08/24/2012 at 5:10pm / United Kingdom (Walsall) / Health