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Jiplo

Offline (the 09/05/2014 at 2:59am) | Search for a member

Jiplo

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 10184
  • Number of comments : 291
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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Jiplo's page activity

Visits<b>daken96</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 1:20pm<b>cg1992</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 10:40pm<b>SadisticKittyCat</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 4:01pm<b>Radgears47</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 5:26am<b>Ann_Onyme</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 5:51pm<b>ItsAlly</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 2:53am<b>cwrocker</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 2:05pm<b>Clutz97</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 1:53am<b>ArtemisGide</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 4:46pm<b>dumb_engineer</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 9:49am<b>ThatNutOverThere</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 8:02pm<b>Fidge86</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 4:10pm<b>Flendre_scarlet</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 3:59pm<b>BunchieRules</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 10:35pm<b>gennyv</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 10:04pm<b>izbechillin</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 8:48pm<b>nlm92</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 9:31am<b>BlackHawkSavior</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 3:20pm

Fucked!<b>Radgears47</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 11:26am

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Jiplo's favorite FMLs

Today, my teenage daughter asked me how old I was when I lost my virginity. I sarcastically replied that I'm still a virgin. She looked at me blankly and said, "Jeez, no wonder you're so uptight. You need to get laid, mom." FML

#20104739
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27197) - you deserved it (6962)

On 10/06/2012 at 8:05pm - kids - by TheVirginJenny - United States (Washington)

Today, I was fiddling around with the thermostat at my new place. For a laugh, I twisted the knob all the way to 40° celsius, when it snapped off. I don't have a clue how to fix it. FML

#20104478
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7836) - you deserved it (38983)

On 10/06/2012 at 4:29pm - misc - by didntknowyoucouldbreakit (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I discovered that my 12-year-old son has secretly been printing out and selling copies of the suggestive photos from my camera that I'd taken for my husband. He's been selling them to kids at school for a dollar each. FML

#20103277
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13270) - you deserved it (30319)

On 10/05/2012 at 7:02pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was invited to my boyfriend's house for dinner for the first time. His mom made a fantastic dinner, so I showed my appreciation by eating the lot. Apparently I was overdoing it because when I looked up everyone was staring. His dad muttered, "Slow the hell down." FML

#20102773
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12587) - you deserved it (24549)

On 10/05/2012 at 10:56am - misc - by OhMeGerd (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was assigned to write a short story about what we imagine Earth to be like in 500 years, and daily conflicts people experience. My teacher loved it and read it aloud to the class. He asked for my inspiration, and I didn't have the heart to say that I ripped off Mass Effect 3. FML

Today, my teacher assigned us teams in a class debate. I landed on the team that had to argue the obviously wrong point of view. When I finished, my teacher told me and the entire class how much I disturbed her, and how I reminded her of Hitler and Napoleon. FML

#20058797
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26413) - you deserved it (2243)

On 09/05/2012 at 12:25pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I bought some perfume that I thought smelled absolutely amazing. Later, my boyfriend walked in, sniffed, and said, "What smells like bacon?" The bottle cost $83. They won't take a refund. FML

#20050522
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15867) - you deserved it (8116)

On 08/31/2012 at 3:06am - misc - by baconlady (woman) - United States

Today, I was working the cash register. While helping a customer with her groceries, my bra snapped. I then had to ask my male boss if I could staple it back together. Thirty minutes later it snapped again. I then had to explain to my boss that I was too broke to buy a new one. FML

#20050418
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22699) - you deserved it (2180)

On 08/31/2012 at 1:23am - misc - by thatgirl17 - United States

Today, I got rear-ended. An old woman got out and came over to my car window. I thought she was coming to apologize and trade insurance companies. Instead, she poured her soda on my head, ran back into her car, and drove away. FML

#20050170
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23366) - you deserved it (1470)

On 08/30/2012 at 10:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was playing with my vibrator. I was getting close when all of a sudden it short-circuited and made a sound like a laughing clown, scaring me half to death. FML

Today, I had to explain to my teacher that Czechoslovakia is no longer a country. She kicked me out of class when she found out I was right. FML

#20049540
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28534) - you deserved it (1876)

On 08/30/2012 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)

Today, I had to force myself to take a dump at school, even though I have severe restroom anxiety and shyness. I had finally relaxed enough to go when the tornado drills went off mid-dump, and 46 students and teachers packed into the bathroom with me. FML

#20048959
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35664) - you deserved it (2437)

On 08/30/2012 at 1:55am - misc - by DamnTornadoAlley - United States (Texas)

Today, while getting pretty intimate with my newlywed wife in the car, a cop turned his lights on. As he was walking up, I was trying to get my pants back on but they wouldn't fit over my knees. The cop just laughed and walked away. Turns out my wife had my pants on and I was trying to put hers on. FML

#20048187
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30573) - you deserved it (7160)

On 08/29/2012 at 5:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend texted me, saying, "I'm running a bath. Wanna come over and learn about water displacement?" I excitedly drove over, thinking he wanted to have some fun. No, he really did want to teach me about water displacement. FML

#20047830
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31472) - you deserved it (6128)

On 08/29/2012 at 12:38pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was at a job interview. The interviewer spoke to me for a few minutes, then said she would be right back, and left. I was left alone in a room for an hour and a half believing that it was a patience test. They closed the store for the day, leaving me in the interview room. FML

#20040149
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29184) - you deserved it (2168)

On 08/24/2012 at 11:31pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)



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