Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Jimster1712

Search for a member

Jimster1712
  • Town/Country : Beijing, China
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 17 December 1997 (16 years)
  • Number of visits : 3009
  • Number of comments : 235
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About Jimster1712 : Hi I'm Jimmy, 14 years old, an asian guy whoI really loves drumming and metal. Favorite metal bands : Lamb Of God, Trivium , Dream Theater, Divine Heresy etc , I also really like Memes, can tell from my Me Gusta pic. Don't take my comments seriously, most are jokes.

Jimster1712's last visitors

DMAN80182001thesuperwholockalexmac222FMLMLPclapdatassidyneeena94MeTheBeastMikeyKennethbarnee26

Jimster1712's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Jimster1712's favorite FMLs

Today, I got pulled over. When the cop asked where I was coming from, reflexively I said, "Your mom's house." FML

Today, my mom told me to clean the house up because she wants to make good impression on the cleaning lady. FML

#18933049
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24440) - you deserved it (2354)

On 01/28/2012 at 11:19am - misc - by messyvictor (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to Google how to find the area of a circle. I'm working on my PhD in engineering. FML

#18928299
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8540) - you deserved it (29155)

On 01/27/2012 at 8:20pm - misc - by pirsquared (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I accidentally dropped my phone while I was crossing the road. Luckily, it survived the fall. Not so luckily, an oncoming bus steamrolled it into oblivion. FML

#18872101
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19934) - you deserved it (3151)

On 01/21/2012 at 3:59pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, during swimming in PE, I kept noticing a stinging feeling on my scrotum. Every time I jumped into the water I would feel a sharp stab. After the full hour of hell, I went to the bathroom and looked in my new trunks. The designer had left their sewing needle in the crotch netting. FML

#18809719
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31700) - you deserved it (3143)

On 01/14/2012 at 10:07pm - health - by CantPublish - United States

Today, I sold my Xbox and Kinect to a guy. I forgot that sometimes I'd play Dance Central naked, and the Kinect would make videos. This guy now has videos of me, naked, badly dancing. FML

#18791715
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10233) - you deserved it (35017)

On 01/13/2012 at 12:05am - misc - by anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I caught my mother attempting to write a $1400 cheque. To whom? The proprietor of a "Christian charity fund" with whom she had been having Internet conversations. The proprietor's name, and that on the cheque, was "Herp McDerpington". FML

#18540980
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28306) - you deserved it (2177)

On 12/18/2011 at 12:18am - misc - by scammed - Canada (Quebec)

Today, some friends and I were pulled over on our way back from a party. We'd had a few drinks, so we tried to play it cool just in case we were over the limit. The cop didn't seem to want to breathalyze us, until my really high friend in the back seat said, "These are not the droids you are looking for." FML

#18451653
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11914) - you deserved it (39010)

On 12/07/2011 at 9:46am - misc - by Notadrinkanddriveidiot - United States

Today, I sat on Santa's lap. He got an erection. FML

#18404973
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33464) - you deserved it (7314)

On 12/01/2011 at 5:25pm - intimacy - by pops up - United States (Missouri)

Today, in science class, we had to make play-dough with our lab partners. We were allowed to put one thing in it to make it more bouncy or rubbery. My partner said that he wanted to put a chicken wing in ours. FML

#18374727
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18459) - you deserved it (2169)

On 11/28/2011 at 10:45am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, it's the second week into my new neighbors' routine. He works nights, she works days. He likes to blast out Slayer and Napalm Death all day, she likes to drunkenly sing out of tune to Adele all night. I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown. FML

#18353086
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22074) - you deserved it (1732)

On 11/26/2011 at 1:03am - misc - by Help - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out my boyfriend is cheating on me with a woman twice my age. I'm 32. FML

#18353006
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41929) - you deserved it (2676)

On 11/26/2011 at 12:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was jogging around the neighborhood when I went past a bar. There were lots of drunk men outside telling me to come over so they could give me the night of my life. One of those men was my grandpa. FML

#18329245
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36446) - you deserved it (2147)

On 11/23/2011 at 5:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while jogging, I heard an odd clapping sound over the sound of my iPod. I stopped running, and the sound stopped. This continued for an hour before I realized the slapping sound was my thighs slapping together violently. FML

#18321705
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23203) - you deserved it (8223)

On 11/22/2011 at 10:21pm - health - by thunderthighs644 (woman) -

Today, my 11 year old sister deleted me off Facebook because I'm not "cool enough" to be seen on her profile. FML

#18302175
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25227) - you deserved it (4887)

On 11/20/2011 at 9:21pm - kids - by sourcandy013 - United States (Florida)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: