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JimMorrisonROX

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JimMorrisonROX

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JimMorrisonROX's page activity

Visits<b>reyelisaia</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 7:29am<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 3:03pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 9:35am<b>ginger196</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 5:39pm<b>wilburhp</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 10:39pm<b>Faith13</b> - the 10/31/2013 at 3:30am

JimMorrisonROX's FML badges

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JimMorrisonROX's favorite FMLs

Today, I got stitches in my breast. I never knew how much they jiggled until every bump on the road made my breast feel like it was on fire. FML

#21278689
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35356) - you deserved it (2474)

On 10/15/2014 at 10:33pm - health - by BoobiePain - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I was leading a tour of my university and saw a girl in ripped jeans and combat boots smoking a cigarette. I told her that she shouldn't be representing the school in such a manner. She shot back: "I'm a Presidential Scholar. Suck my dick, bitch." FML

#21278356
312 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26588) - you deserved it (53172)

On 10/15/2014 at 1:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, my friends and I went paintballing. The instructor showed us the sound of an unloaded gun by shooting at my face. It wasn't unloaded. FML

#21277056
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44697) - you deserved it (2977)

On 10/13/2014 at 5:33pm - health - by clumsylobster - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I received an email from an angry parent, demanding that I give his daughter an A on a project which I had given her a 0 on. The project was to pick an article related to science and to write an essay on it. Hers was a hoax article relating to Ebola patients rising from the dead. FML

#21276337
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34794) - you deserved it (4952)

On 10/12/2014 at 4:46pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I witnessed some greasy twat trying to chat a girl up by negging her, which is basically insulting a woman to lower her self-esteem so she's more likely to put out. "Goddamn negger", I muttered. "The fuck did you just say?!" yelled a black guy standing beside me. FML

#21275066
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31479) - you deserved it (14479)

On 10/10/2014 at 4:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, the guy I really like acknowledged my existence for the first time. Too bad it was through a text saying "lol ur a fat fukc". FML

#21271187
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35125) - you deserved it (3475)

On 10/05/2014 at 12:02pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I got on one knee in front of my girlfriend. I pulled out the ring, uttered the words "Lisa, will you..." then abruptly shat my pants. FML

#21271177
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42701) - you deserved it (5147)

On 10/05/2014 at 11:47am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out I'm allergic to condoms. Which would be great if my girlfriend wasn't allergic to birth control. FML

#21270163
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43293) - you deserved it (3655)

On 10/03/2014 at 3:04pm - health - by oncehipjr (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my little sister had her second son. She is 31 and she named her sons after her favorite television characters, Sam and Dean Winchester. She has made it her life goal to make sure her husband never finds out. FML

#21269654
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30205) - you deserved it (3835)

On 10/02/2014 at 4:29pm - kids - by mykodu - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I thought I was finally over my anxiety problem, and confidently went to my first ever job interview. Halfway through, the manager tells me that if I didn't stop being so nervous, he couldn't give me the job. I cried. FML

#21269405
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37244) - you deserved it (4438)

On 10/02/2014 at 4:56am - work - by rejected - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I got yelled at by a bleeding-heart hippy in the restroom for using paper towels. Apparently I'm a "tree-hating, paper-wasting bitch". I had a nosebleed. FML

#21263128
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33953) - you deserved it (2571)

On 09/22/2014 at 1:41pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that the neighborhood call-girl my husband and I secretly joke about is the same woman who secretly pleasures my husband for money. FML

#21263093
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41315) - you deserved it (4793)

On 09/22/2014 at 12:43pm - intimacy - by mislead - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my fiancé and I were having sex in the early hours of the morning. He said "Morning sex is the best thing to wake up to." Without thinking, I responded "Yeah, unless you're in prison." He lost his erection due to laughing so hard and now can't look at me without laughing. FML

#21262210
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42426) - you deserved it (11623)

On 09/21/2014 at 1:11am - intimacy - by RuinedTheMood (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I ran one of the hardest cross-country courses in the country. I'm a pretty good runner, and I was feeling confident for the first mile. Then the chipotle from last night's dinner hit, and my legs weren't the only thing running. FML

#21257129
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36320) - you deserved it (8482)

On 09/12/2014 at 8:19pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I came home early to surprise my wife. No, it's not what you're thinking: I didn't find her cheating on me. She wasn't even home, but my dad was. He'd used his spare key and was on my sofa, drinking my beer and watching my TV. The first words out of his mouth? "Your beer's shit." FML

#21253167
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36795) - you deserved it (3566)

On 09/06/2014 at 5:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)



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