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JhartNyVaPaFl

Offline (the 11/27/2014 at 6:48am) | Search for a member

JhartNyVaPaFl

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  • Number of visits : 316
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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JhartNyVaPaFl's FML badges

50 favourites

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JhartNyVaPaFl's favorite FMLs

Today, while we were having sex, my boyfriend asked me, "Who's your daddy?" I actually started thinking about my father. Total buzzkill. FML

Today, I went to a coffee shop. As I headed over to stand in line, I tripped over my own feet. I got back up, then tripped up yet again. Everyone was staring, and I was so mortified that I went to leave. I then struggled with the door under their glares before realising it opened the other way. FML

#21094549
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40605) - you deserved it (6112)

On 03/23/2014 at 7:02pm - misc - by butterbody - United Kingdom

Today, I had a music duet in front of a crowd and 3 judges. I play tuba and my partner plays the saxophone. He burst out laughing in the middle of it because one note that I played sounded like a fart. FML

#21082619
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39665) - you deserved it (4309)

On 03/09/2014 at 10:09pm - misc - by some band player - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mother decided to tell me about how my twin brother almost killed me in the womb when his cord wrapped around my neck. When she left the room, he said, "You won't be so lucky next time." FML

#21081555
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42611) - you deserved it (4272)

On 03/08/2014 at 6:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I told my boyfriend that I'm bisexual. He dumped me because apparently now there is "too much competition". FML

#21081103
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43506) - you deserved it (12904)

On 03/08/2014 at 4:23am - love - by biwhat (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to mess around at my workplace's parking lot. Things got hot and steamy, but in the middle of it all, there came a bang at my car window. My frantic boss had seen us and thought I was being attacked. FML

#21080766
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32369) - you deserved it (25929)

On 03/07/2014 at 7:53pm - work - by unknown - United States (Texas)

Today, my hippy nutjob of a roommate threw a bitch fit at me, all because he saw me chopping down a tree in Minecraft. FML

#21080644
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43086) - you deserved it (4702)

On 03/07/2014 at 4:25pm - misc - by fuck off, eh! (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time, and I tried to be sexy by raking my nails down his back. I guess I did it a little too hard, because he shrieked in pain, leapt off me, and limped around the room cursing and whimpering. Mood ruined. FML

#21080573
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43766) - you deserved it (22974)

On 03/07/2014 at 2:47pm - intimacy - by onepussytwopussy (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I told my parents about the amazing guy I met. My mom immediately stormed out. My dad got up, looked at me and told me he's disappointed in me for "falling into the traps of the Internet," and leaves. I didn't meet him on the Internet. FML

#21073930
91 comments

Today, while having a sneak through my brother's browser, I found a bookmark for a Google Docs file. It was a short story involving him horrifically killing our entire family. It ended with the words: "And that is what happens when people don't respect the author's privacy." FML

#21073315
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25358) - you deserved it (55703)

On 02/27/2014 at 4:46pm - misc - by well SHIT (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I learned that no matter how much you want the Nutella, it's never a good idea to deep-throat the knife. FML

#21073034
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17306) - you deserved it (55035)

On 02/27/2014 at 9:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, during class our teacher asked us, "Who is Uncle Sam?" A girl answered, "He's the guy who founded KFC, right?" I'm in an AP class and have to put up with these morons constantly. FML

#21071374
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42361) - you deserved it (4185)

On 02/25/2014 at 4:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I threw an eraser at my brother to get his attention because he couldn't hear me over his music. Being in a bad mood, he thought I was trying to aggravate his bad mood and responded by throwing a small desk cactus back. FML

#21071018
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37865) - you deserved it (13414)

On 02/25/2014 at 4:31am - misc - by ThatGuyWithFMLs (man) - Japan (Osaka)

Today, I found out that my son set up a telescope in the attic not so he could study astronomy like he told me, but so he could spy on the girl across the street. FML

#21070645
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34900) - you deserved it (6587)

On 02/24/2014 at 7:51pm - kids - by sonwhy - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Devastated, I told my dad about it, hoping he'd help cheer me up. His advice was, "Just rub one out son, you'll feel better in no time." Thanks dad. FML

#21070515
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44070) - you deserved it (6227)

On 02/24/2014 at 5:22pm - intimacy - by Author (man) - United States (Florida)



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