Jexican1

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Offline (the 11/23/2014 at 10:44pm)

Jexican1

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  • Number of visits : 700
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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Jexican1's page activity

Visits<b>fayeaurora</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 8:36pm<b>Ayezed</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 9:02am

Jexican1's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

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Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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Jexican1's favorite FMLs

Today, my 17 year old boyfriend's mother bought him a giraffe onesie. He refused to take it off and insisted on wearing it everywhere we go. We live in Australia and it's our summer now. So far he has passed out 3 times in public because he over heated, but he still won't take it off. FML

by GiraffeLover / 01/11/2013 at 6:36am / Australia / Love

Today, my boyfriend of over a year told me he wanted to learn Korean before Spanish. Apparently, being able to sing along to Gangnam Style is more important to him than being able to speak with my family. FML

by Latina / 01/11/2013 at 5:24am / United States (Arizona) / Love

Today, I have severe back pain that is only relieved by lying flat on my bed. I also have acid reflux that is only prevented by sitting straight up. FML

by Kftc88 / 01/11/2013 at 3:03am / United States (California) / Health

Today, my hamster died. It climbed out of its cage and jumped off my dresser. Looking for condolences, I told my mom who replied, "If I lived in your room, I would have done it earlier." FML

by deadhammy / 01/11/2013 at 2:09am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try some "prolonging gel" to help him last longer between the sheets. Surprisingly, it worked, and he lasted 3 times longer than usual. I can now enjoy 4 whole minutes of sex. FML

by Anonymous / 01/11/2013 at 12:17am / United States (Mississippi) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me at my grandma's funeral. FML

by good job bf / 01/10/2013 at 11:06pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, the abandoned cat that I took in for the night and during bad weather seems to have spread fleas around my house. They're everywhere. FML

by jesspie / 01/10/2013 at 9:41pm / United Kingdom / Animals

Today, I found out that my son told my daughter at some point that "real" name for Hershey's Kisses is "blowjobs." I found this out because at kindergarten she was asked what her favorite food was. The teacher wasn't happy when she called me. FML

by Grant / 01/10/2013 at 7:51pm / United States / Kids

Today, I've been struggling with my English paper for the past hour, because I can't concentrate. This is because my mom is in the room next to me, singing to her pet rat about what a cute little boy he is, in between yelling at him to stop "molesting" her. FML

by theycallmekitty / 01/10/2013 at 7:02pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals

Today, I went to the hospital with stomach pains. I found out I have mono, as well as a ruptured ovarian cyst, which may need surgery. I called my best friend for support, only for her to drunkenly yell at me for not being at her party, and that this could have waited till a better time. FML

by thanksforthat / 01/10/2013 at 6:11pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

Today, I was in the elevator, when a big bearded guy stepped in, wearing a dress. It's not an uncommon sight where I live, but my friend cracked up and asked him if he was wearing underwear. He took it as a challenge, and I can safely say that no, he was not. FML

by juvenile friends suck / 01/10/2013 at 3:52pm / Germany (Schleswig-Holstein) / Intimacy

Today, I went out for dinner with my long-term crush, who turned out to be a huge dog person. He asked me which dog breed I like the most. In an attempt to reply with both Labrador and Doberman, I accidentally said Dumbledore. FML

by Anonymous / 01/10/2013 at 7:20am / Slovakia / Miscellaneous

Today, my 14-year-old son showed me a "bird's egg" he was looking after in his room. It was a dried up dog turd. FML

by Facepalmum / 01/10/2013 at 1:28am / Australia (Victoria) / Kids

Today, my brother learned how to fake cry. I've been catching shit for everything I've done and said near him ever since. FML

by everore / 12/25/2012 at 1:12pm / United States (Utah) / Kids

Today, I found my childhood diary stashed in a box in the attic. I flipped to the last page and noticed a little note written by my now deceased father. It read, "Well son, this diary proves that you're a whiny asshole - Dad." Thanks Dad, from beyond the grave. FML

by Anonymous / 11/12/2012 at 9:47pm / United States (Vermont) / Miscellaneous