Jessj958

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Offline (the 11/14/2014 at 2:12pm)

Jessj958

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Jessj958
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 16 September 1984 (31 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2327
  • Number of comments : 213
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Jessj958's page activity

Visits<b>TheTshirt</b> - yesterday at 6:41pm<b>bolee997</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 8:13pm<b>Zatert</b> - the 04/10/2016 at 1:01pm<b>Frowny</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 4:23am<b>Blizzicus</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 4:57pm<b>wjohn717</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 9:07am<b>websphere69</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 1:29pm<b>iMuffinKat</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 2:12am<b>mcduckens</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 11:34am<b>Isak366</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 11:13am<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 5:41pm<b>jill97</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 8:40am<b>erindgentry</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 2:11pm<b>jsb1426</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 11:54am<b>beeferjay</b> - the 10/18/2015 at 8:47pm<b>WCARlover</b> - the 10/16/2015 at 1:01am<b>DoomSkuller</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 1:42am<b>chrisseesyou</b> - the 10/06/2015 at 5:33am

Fucked!<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 2:30am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 11:59pm<b>monstermatt001</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 11:27pm<b>shivamtrivedi</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 7:58pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 11:04am<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 10:09pm<b>thatguyybrian</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 7:00am<b>robertd73</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 6:16am<b>seeoseek</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 12:05am

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Jessj958's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to take my daughter home from school because she had been caught flashing the boys during class. I tried to explain to her that it wasn't an appropriate way to act or behave but she interrupted me, "Mom, you don't even understand." You're right. I don't. FML

by HouseWife / 05/20/2014 at 10:24pm / United States (Missouri) / Kids

Today, I told my 4-year-old neighbor that I'm pregnant. His response was to attack me with a stick "for swallowing a baby." Three people had to pull him off. FML

by Baby eater / 05/19/2014 at 8:00pm / United States (Tennessee) / Kids

Today, my in-laws moved in. FML

by Great / 04/08/2014 at 9:42pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized how boring and sexually deprived my life is when I found a gas station ten cents cheaper than the one I usually use. It gave me both an asthma attack and an erection, simultaneously. FML

by the long distance guy / 04/08/2014 at 3:56am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to my crush's house. We were watching a movie when suddenly he started kissing me. As it deepened he began to feel around. He was groping my armpit the whole time but I was too embarrassed that my underarm could pass for my boobs to redirect him. FML

by armtits and big pits / 04/05/2014 at 3:14am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, while in line at my local bakery, an old man passed wind in front of me. The smell was like nothing I've ever experienced before. I managed to withstand it, but the child behind me could not, and spewed orange vomit all over my back. FML

by Anonymous / 04/05/2014 at 12:04am / United States (New Mexico) / Kids

Today, I met a really nice girl at a club, and we went back to my place. I was finally going to lose my virginity, but just as she started kissing me, I panicked and ended up fainting. When I came to, I was still clothed, and she was long gone. FML

by ohai ur hawt, wanna fuzzzZzZZzzZzz / 04/04/2014 at 7:20pm / Mexico (Distrito Federal) / Love

Today, while showering, I pulled on my white exfoliating gloves ready to wash my face. As I was about to use them, a dark stain caught my eye so I sniffed the mark only to discover it was poo. After further investigation, I find out my younger sister had been wearing them and 'experimenting'. FML

by AshleyP / 04/04/2014 at 10:17am / United Kingdom / Kids

Today, I witnessed my boyfriend taking a dump in the litter box. He said he wanted to know what it felt like for the cat. FML

by Anonymous / 10/23/2013 at 12:04pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Animals

Today, a lady stormed into the pharmacy I work at and chewed me out because the medicine I sold her the day before gave her horrible diarrhea as a "side effect". I checked, and it was the medicine she asked for - laxatives. FML

by anonymous / 09/16/2013 at 1:35am / United States (Oregon) / Health

Today, I gave my daughter the sex talk. Barely 10 minutes later, her public Facebook status read: "My mom's a total pedo." and after she mentioned the talk, her friend posted, "That's sexual harassment. You can sue for that." Clearly I've failed as a parent. FML

by Anonymous / 08/16/2013 at 5:05pm / United States (Missouri) / Kids

Today, I started doing it again. I'd given up for years, but when I saw the pack I just couldn't help myself. One taste was enough to make me finish off the whole pack. Nobody knows that I've fallen off the wagon and I'm so ashamed of myself. Today, I began eating my cat's biscuits again. FML

by Aliiiice / 07/16/2013 at 9:18am / France (Haute-Normandie) / Health

Today, our cat died. My five-year-old tried to flush him down the toilet. FML

Today, I had to convince my husband that I'm not having an affair all because I refused to have sex with him. Apparently the fact that I gave birth to our twins 10 days ago isn't a good enough reason to turn him down. FML

by loving wife / 04/21/2013 at 6:20am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, I can no longer leave my son at daycare, because at the age of 5, he's started manipulating the girls there into fighting over him. A kid lost a baby tooth in one such brawl. FML

by Anonymous / 04/20/2013 at 12:34pm / Thailand / Kids