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Offline (the 11/30/2016 at 9:56pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1687
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Jessica0928 : I like to read, travel, shop in thrift/antique stores, I love anything vintage. I like to cook and bake, go camping and quadding, play volleyball, and hang out with friends. I've been with my boyfriend for 5 years. I love music; some favorites are Ed Sheeran, Adele, The Civil Wars, Sleeping With Sirens, Rixton, and I Am They. Some favorite TV shows would be Vampire Diaries, American Horror Story, True Blood, Game of Thrones, HIMYM, Modern Family, New Girl, Bates Motel, and Dexter. I love anything makeup or beauty-related; I'm an aspiring makeup artist. My dream would be to move into the mountains in a little cabin and have a herd of goats :P I'm a diehard Harry Potter fan. I am also a Pinterest addict. Yup, that's about it.....

Jessica0928's page activity

Visits<b>1922Oct</b> - 18 hours ago<b>tin_cup</b> - the 10/15/2016 at 9:45am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 10/13/2016 at 9:20pm<b>cmchappy</b> - the 10/10/2016 at 3:32am<b>zah2an724</b> - the 10/10/2016 at 12:31am<b>Rintarok5</b> - the 10/09/2016 at 8:18pm<b>gary8082</b> - the 10/09/2016 at 6:10pm<b>Captobvious19</b> - the 10/09/2016 at 5:47pm<b>stryder9090</b> - the 10/09/2016 at 4:34pm<b>Wane8822</b> - the 09/02/2016 at 9:05pm<b>hardesty2904</b> - the 09/02/2016 at 2:53pm<b>chewsef</b> - the 09/02/2016 at 2:09pm<b>Cacksonic</b> - the 09/02/2016 at 9:30am<b>dno79</b> - the 05/29/2016 at 6:12am<b>DrowningLessons</b> - the 03/06/2016 at 1:50pm<b>frizzler</b> - the 02/29/2016 at 9:46pm<b>missa8604</b> - the 02/28/2016 at 9:56pm<b>enoeht</b> - the 02/12/2016 at 5:34pm

Fucked!<b>Rintarok5</b> - the 10/10/2016 at 2:18am<b>gary8082</b> - the 10/10/2016 at 12:10am<b>tin_cup</b> - the 10/09/2016 at 10:26pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 09/13/2016 at 7:51pm<b>barisozdemir</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 11:26am<b>FFStepchild283</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 3:47am<b>thatoneguy1111</b> - the 10/01/2015 at 2:29pm<b>AyeTee77</b> - the 10/01/2015 at 8:30am<b>Toonice45</b> - the 09/12/2015 at 9:14pm<b>TexasDiesel97</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 3:52am<b>boultzboi</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 12:15am<b>Tannasgh</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 5:34am<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 10:52pm<b>Shuff52</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 7:04pm<b>zjay</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 6:51pm<b>khoov19</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 8:21pm<b>DerBuchmacher</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 9:01am<b>januswraith6</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 9:19am

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Jessica0928's favorite FMLs

Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML

by Anonymous / 08/03/2014 at 1:16am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work

Today, I watched a little girl laugh while giving bread to some pigeons at a bus stop. A bus then arrived. All the pigeons moved out of the away, except one. Its head got crushed by a wheel, and some blood splattered onto the little girl's shoes, who then screamed. With laughter. FML

by B_and_W / 11/21/2013 at 6:35am / France / Kids

Today, my girlfriend made bacon sandwiches for lunch. I didn't want to be rude, but I couldn't help but mention that the bacon smelled and tasted weird. I thought it may have expired. She said not to worry because she used the dry bacon under the counter. Those were dog treats. FML

by Undercooked / 09/24/2013 at 3:08pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband refused to let our 7-week-old daughter have a pacifier, because he doesn't want her growing up to be a "whore." FML

Today, I was getting my cat some canned food. Out of habit I licked the spoon after I had emptied the can only to realize too late what I had done. FML

by OldHabitsDieHard / 09/18/2013 at 10:53am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals

Today, I took my 4-year-old son to the bank with me. He asked why we were going, and I explained that I had a couple of checks that they would turn into money. When we got in line, he loudly exclaimed that "Mommy has checks for money!" Except "checks" sounded almost exactly like "sex". FML

by Anonymous / 09/10/2013 at 2:30pm / United States (Tennessee) / Kids

Today, a shopper asked me where my nipples were. Seeing as I work in Babies'R'Us, this is a common question. I brought her over to the nursing equipment aisle where she then grabbed my nipples, gave them a twist, and walked away. I need a new job. FML

by NotGabe / 09/01/2013 at 10:25am / United States (Texas) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, was my wedding day. We had a beautiful outdoor wedding and everything was going perfectly as planned. That is, until a bird flew over us and left a present right between my boobs. I had to stand at the altar for 30 minutes as bird poop melted in my cleavage. FML

by NewBride / 08/14/2013 at 1:39pm / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous

Today, I sprayed down some ants in my house. In the sea of ant corpses was a single living ant seemingly cradling a dead one in its arms. I'm convinced I just became the villain in an epic tragedy. Now I have to live with my ant problem because I can't bear to tear another family apart. FML

by Blood on my hands / 08/07/2013 at 1:40am / United States / Animals