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JesseN

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JesseN

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 27 July 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1654
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Today , I was at a party where I ate bowl of disgusting snacks because I didn't want to drink on an empty stomach. I spent the next twelve hours trying to prevent the world from collapsing into millions of demonic shards , cause apparently that's what a large dose of magic mushrooms does. FML

#6298765
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19045) - you deserved it (32867)

On 11/14/2009 at 8:37am - misc - by swedishdude (man) - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today... I spent the night with my guy... whom I hadn't seen in ages. In the middle of sex... he answerd his phone... told me to be quiet... talkd to the girl on the other end about how boring his day was... then left the room to finish talking to her. When he cummd back he askd if I felt lyk swallowing. real FML

#6078276
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24787) - you deserved it (4295)

On 10/31/2009 at 12:31am - intimacy - by dtmfa (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Taday I got home from work and heard the shower in my bathroom running. Thinking my wife was taking a shower , I got completely undressed and walked in. My wife wasn't in the shower , instead I found my daughter and her boyfriend in the shower , making out. There was an awkward moment of silence. FML

#5974378
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33953) - you deserved it (8867)

On 10/24/2009 at 1:35pm - intimacy - by sad_dad (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was in a department store with my three year old daughter to buy some new jeans . I took her into the dressing room with me and as I began to take off my pants she yells, "Mommy, u can't go peepee in here!!" I am no longer welcome in that particular store . FML

#5364487
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36820) - you deserved it (3344)

On 09/20/2009 at 1:01am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was having a really bad day an told friend at lunch about how stressd I was an he gave me his brownie to cheer me up. After school, he textd me "Did the brownies kick in?" Yes, they did, right in the middle of English presentation. They were "funny" brownies. FML

#5171509
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45830) - you deserved it (6981)

On 09/10/2009 at 5:34pm - misc - by englishclasshigh (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, usband cummed ome from sopping wit 4 year old daugter an sowed me a sirt se picked out erself. Te sirt read "My mom's easy i'm living proof." Apparently se just liked te colours an er fater looool agreed. FML

#4730526
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34985) - you deserved it (4034)

On 08/22/2009 at 5:29am - kids - by naughtyshirt (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today I was eating with a friendhile walking on the sidewalk!! A couple of pigeons were bothering us so I threw a fry onto the street!! As a flock of pigeons were gathering around the fry a truck drove by!! Only four survived!! FML

#4674126
331 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18763) - you deserved it (45715)

On 08/20/2009 at 2:22am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I asked my aunt to pluck my eyebrows since ers are perfectly done. Wat I didn't know is se gets ers professionally saped an se doesn't know ow to sape eyebrows. I now look like a surprised Vulcan. FML

#4606857
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37028) - you deserved it (20858)

On 08/17/2009 at 6:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today... I was mowing lawns fir mah summer job. I noticd next to me a shiny new corvette bieng washd by the owner. I gave a friendly wave... just as I hered a big clank as the mower blade shot a rock into the side of the car. mega FML

#4046446
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46111) - you deserved it (4587)

On 07/26/2009 at 1:59am - misc - by ferrin10 - United States (Idaho)

Today... I was in an alavator with mah dad and savaral strangars. Whan tha alavator voica said... "Going down..." mah dad axcitadly said... "Man... I lova ithan sha says that!" loudly anough 4 avaryona to haar. FML

#4000566
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40440) - you deserved it (4182)

On 07/24/2009 at 6:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

I woke up from a nap to hear mah roommate having some intimate time with his hand !! The slopping an slurping sounds along with the girly man squeal as he finished haunted me all day !! FML

#3646272
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59992) - you deserved it (3921)

On 07/10/2009 at 5:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Iraq (Arbil)

Today, I snuck into brother's room to scare him. Just as I was about to go fir it, his girlfriend calls. I had to sit there motionless listening to brother having phone sex, then wait fir him to go to sleep an sneak back out to pretend it never happened. FML

#3630061
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21679) - you deserved it (55502)

On 07/10/2009 at 1:27am - intimacy - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today... I went to mah 7 year old son's school fir a conference with his teacher. When I got there... the teacher said "she adored me fir who and wat I am". I was puzzled. Turns out mah son told his class that I am a "lesbian American." Wrong. I'm Lebanese-American. FML

#3364803
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53684) - you deserved it (3350)

On 06/30/2009 at 12:17pm - kids - by lebanesewoman (woman) - Hong Kong

today I looool was using a public bathroom when a woman backs in, pulls down her pants, and sits on mah lap. Needless to say she didn't even notice I was there until I hyperventilated. FML

#2928893
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38839) - you deserved it (3975)

On 06/16/2009 at 12:06am - misc - by yourmom (woman) - United States (Virginia)



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