Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

JessBassett

Search for a member

JessBassett
  • Town/Country : Toronto, Canada
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 15 November 1995 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 510
  • Number of comments : 26
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About JessBassett : Justice Studies student at UofGH!

JessBassett's last visitors

Edogg215the_rude_dudesk3p71kniftyismybitchJenrawombatoftheyearAyezedthatguy24010nachoman10awesommessofpies

JessBassett's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of JessBassett's badges

JessBassett's favorite FMLs

Today, upon being asked to name all the planets, I had to sing along to a Lady Gaga song in my head to remember them. FML

#21085874
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27195) - you deserved it (10028)

On 03/13/2014 at 6:28pm - misc - by Venus - United States (California)

Today, my grandpa took my face in both hands, kissed me on the lips, said "Now you can tell all your friends you've had your first kiss," and walked out of the room. FML

#21023495
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45728) - you deserved it (4026)

On 01/10/2014 at 11:47am - misc - by wtf - United States (New York)

Today, while my hometown mayor becomes a world-famous crackhead and douche-bag, here in the UK it has come to this: when people hear my accent and ask me if I'm American, it's less embarrassing just to say, "Yeah", rather than admit I'm Canadian. FML

#20958357
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36030) - you deserved it (6126)

On 11/15/2013 at 2:05am - misc - by unproud (man) - United Kingdom (Luton)

Today, my boyfriend took me home for the first time. His place was covered in Insane Clown Posse stuff, even the toilet bowl. He's an undercover Juggalo. FML

#20958067
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35348) - you deserved it (3571)

On 11/14/2013 at 10:08pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my sister introduced our parents to her new boyfriend. He's my boyfriend, and he told me he was going to be out of state for a few weeks on business. FML

Today, I was watching some episodes of The Walking Dead with my boyfriend, after recently introducing him to the series. A scene involving Carl came on, and my boyfriend said, "God damn. You ever give me a kid that annoying, I'll shoot both of ya right in the head." FML

#20950616
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37050) - you deserved it (6640)

On 11/08/2013 at 6:50pm - misc - by kel (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, I sat down with my daughter to have the sex talk, because she recently started seeing a guy. I mentioned at one point how disappointed I would be if she got pregnant. She went wide-eyed and asked, "Didn't mom tell you?" FML

#20942769
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53853) - you deserved it (5096)

On 11/02/2013 at 5:10pm - kids - by unknown (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was refereeing a soccer match and I called a foul. An angry coach kept screaming at me, saying "You're crazy!" I asked him to leave the field. As he left, he lifted his middle finger and screamed, "FUCK YOU!" I ref 5-year-olds. FML

#20937864
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41483) - you deserved it (2647)

On 10/29/2013 at 12:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend sent me a nude picture. I would have been fine with it if he hadn't taken it in his ex-girlfriend's room. FML

#20925937
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47264) - you deserved it (3146)

On 10/19/2013 at 1:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mother kept nagging at me because my 9-month-old daughter only calms down when I play her metal. She demands I use gospel, otherwise she will turn into a "devil-worshipping lunatic like her mother". FML

#20915864
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39874) - you deserved it (4371)

On 10/10/2013 at 11:04pm - kids - by SlapAndTickle - United States

Today, a friend thought it would be funny to shove me over; I faceplanted. I was going to say "F*ck you" and "I will kill you". It came out as "I will f*ck you." He's still laughing. FML

#20910543
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40809) - you deserved it (6796)

On 10/07/2013 at 2:11am - misc - by Ashley - United States (California)

Today, I started to come to during dental surgery. I clearly heard someone behind me say "Shit! Get this fucker back under!" then another person mentioning they'd have to kill me to avoid "another lawsuit", followed by laughter and the blackness of sleep. FML

#20909921
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53800) - you deserved it (2850)

On 10/06/2013 at 5:49pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my body-building addiction hit a whole new level when I begged my friend to sell me her breast milk. FML

Today, my husband wanted me to "spice up" our sex life. I guess he didn't count on me vomiting when he came in my mouth. We won't be getting intimate again for a long, long time now. FML

#20888582
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42231) - you deserved it (8780)

On 09/20/2013 at 12:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I walked into my new office for the first time after receiving the promotion I've been trying for. Someone took a dump on my desk. FML

#20857349
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41515) - you deserved it (2826)

On 08/28/2013 at 12:06am - work - by DefinitelyNotDogshit (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: