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Jennie_sykes

Offline (the 02/13/2015 at 11:00pm) | Search for a member

Jennie_sykes

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  • Number of visits : 152
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Jennie_sykes's page activity

Visits<b>Sacul9</b> - the 11/01/2013 at 11:45am

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Jennie_sykes's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom got me a Christmas present. Since I'm a whovian, she thought it would be cool to get me what she thought was a sonic screwdriver. It was actually a dildo shaped as one. I opened the gift in front of my entire family. FML

#21323893
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33106) - you deserved it (3463)

On 12/25/2014 at 10:17am - intimacy - by whovian - United States (Maine)

Today, my drunk husband came home, got into bed, and started humping the body pillow. He ended up whining about how I hadn't come yet, then angrily slurred that I must be cheating on him. All I could do was stay quiet and wonder how the idiot even made it home alive. FML

#21266933
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48042) - you deserved it (3546)

On 09/28/2014 at 11:30am - intimacy - by tw@ (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I realized how weak I truly am when I tore a muscle in my hand trying to discreetly fix a wedgie. FML

#21266558
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30466) - you deserved it (5571)

On 09/27/2014 at 7:55pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was sitting on a bench at the local park, eating a banana. A guy old enough to be my grandfather walked by, turned to look at me, then said "Young man, I wish I were that banana." He walked away, and I almost blacked out choking on it in shock. FML

#21265897
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35798) - you deserved it (3659)

On 09/26/2014 at 4:40pm - misc - by Operation Yewtree here I come (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my fiancé and I were having sex in the early hours of the morning. He said "Morning sex is the best thing to wake up to." Without thinking, I responded "Yeah, unless you're in prison." He lost his erection due to laughing so hard and now can't look at me without laughing. FML

#21262210
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42426) - you deserved it (11623)

On 09/21/2014 at 1:11am - intimacy - by RuinedTheMood (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to take my husband's laptop to University for an in-class exam. I opened the screen, and loud porn started to auto-play. The silence in the class was deafening as I tried to make it stop. FML

#21256842
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45550) - you deserved it (5627)

On 09/12/2014 at 9:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML

#21241836
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48831) - you deserved it (8873)

On 08/20/2014 at 5:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I won a big raffle. However, my name is so ridiculous-sounding that they thought someone was playing a prank, and pulled a different ticket. I was too embarrassed to say anything. FML

#21227005
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39923) - you deserved it (11237)

On 08/01/2014 at 7:10pm - misc - by infortunatename - United States (California)

Today, my husband thought it would be romantic to pick me up and fall on the bed with me while we were kissing. Our faces smashed together as we hit the bed, and my tongue is still bleeding on and off. FML

#21224768
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44933) - you deserved it (5363)

On 07/30/2014 at 1:04pm - intimacy - by WasntWorthIt - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I accidentally farted in the middle of class. Thinking I got away with it, I just kept doing my work until some kid across the room says, "I could have done better." FML

#21224311
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35577) - you deserved it (6339)

On 07/29/2014 at 11:49pm - work - by dealtit - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was at the beach with a group of friends, including the guy I like. As soon as we got to the beach, I ran toward the water and he chased after me. It was a beautiful moment until I looked back at him, tripped, fell on my face and slid down the beach. FML

#21224233
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38694) - you deserved it (6372)

On 07/29/2014 at 10:36pm - love - by anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was having coffee with an old friend I hadn't seen since university. I asked about her husband; she replied, "he died" and walked away. I was confused, so I stood up and took off after her. She reminded me I was at the funeral, and then slapped me in the face. FML

#21223464
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21443) - you deserved it (62496)

On 07/29/2014 at 3:58am - misc - by jayswizzle89 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my husband decided to play a recording of me breaking wind in my sleep to my whole family at the dinner table. To make matters worse, it was a compilation of different noises from over a long period of time. My family was horrified and my husband seemed proud of himself. FML

#21222673
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38183) - you deserved it (3860)

On 07/28/2014 at 12:36am - misc - by blow away - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out that since there are 3 people with the same name as me at work, I'm known as "the ugly one". FML

#20973400
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43631) - you deserved it (3185)

On 11/28/2013 at 6:41am - work - by anonymous - Canada (Ontario)



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