Jefe

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Jefe

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 May 1989 (27 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6766
  • Number of comments : 65
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Jefe : waaaaaaaaaaaaat..?


Jefe's page activity

Visits<b>Fuaaad1994</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 8:33pm<b>monkeyman3837</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 12:30am<b>crazydragon42</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 8:32am<b>charify</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 7:50pm<b>Crusher74</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 3:13am<b>TinyJelloMumbo</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 1:08am<b>Terzy</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 12:02am<b>livia457</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 3:59pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:20pm<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 1:55am<b>curzy</b> - the 07/15/2010 at 3:15am<b>Plutogone</b> - the 05/31/2010 at 8:10am<b>fatman1970</b> - the 03/18/2010 at 6:01am<b>JustSoHigh</b> - the 12/13/2009 at 7:34pm<b>Titans_Matt</b> - the 12/07/2009 at 6:16pm<b>movies12</b> - the 12/07/2009 at 2:40pm<b>BaBiiSpAnKy821</b> - the 12/05/2009 at 10:21pm<b>JustSoLost</b> - the 12/02/2009 at 4:02pm

Fucked!<b>crazydragon42</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 2:32pm

Jefe's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Jefe's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that if you don't clean the inside of your sonicare toothbrush, it can grow masses of fungus. I've been brushing my teeth with a vibrating mushroom for the past 5 months. FML

by mushroommouth / 10/01/2009 at 5:57pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, my Marine friend got back from his tour of duty overseas. We went out for drinks to celebrate his return. His own form of celebration was to pick a fight with a returning Navy SEAL and his friends. We lost. Badly. FML

by beaten / 09/13/2009 at 2:17am / United States (Idaho) / Health

Today, my family was preparing a turkey for my grandma's birthday dinner when my aunt noticed a utensil on the counter and asked what it was for. My mom said it was used to keep the turkey's legs together. My aunt responded to her by saying, "Maybe you should get one for your daughter." FML

by Familyskank / 05/06/2009 at 12:57pm / United States (Minnesota) / Intimacy

Today, I was babysitting a 5-year-old girl and we were coloring. She made me a card that was very sweet, so I smiled. She looked at me and went "Don't smile, your smile is really scary." FML

by Anonymous / 04/19/2009 at 2:42pm / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, I was working as a manager of the local movie theater. This six year old came in with no parents or anyone else. When I asked him where his parents were he looked at me and said, "Shut up white boy, I don't have to listen to your shit." I just got told by a six year old. FML

by brad3720 / 04/13/2009 at 8:44pm / United States (Illinois) / Work

Today, I saw a dime on the ground. When I bent down to pick it up, my $80 dollar pants ripped. FML

by ripped / 04/11/2009 at 2:10am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I ran over a squirrel. I saw it twitching, so I backed over it to end its suffering. It wasn't a squirrel; it was a kitten. The children it belonged to watched as I ran over their kitten. Twice. FML

by Anonymous / 04/07/2009 at 8:11pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals

Today, I was on a flight from Chicago to Minneapolis. A rather attractive young lady sitting next to me fell asleep at the beginning of the flight. About 40 minutes into the flight I noticed my fly was open. The lady woke to me with my hands in my crotch struggling to zip up my fly. FML

by saltynutz20 / 04/07/2009 at 2:12pm / United States (Minnesota) / Transportation

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML

by FML.. / 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm / China (Hebei) / Intimacy

Today, I went to the doctor because my arm hurt. When he told me I had tennis elbow I said "that's funny I don't play tennis". Then he asked me if I had a girlfriend. When I said no he said "Well I guess we solved this one." FML

by Anonymous / 04/04/2009 at 12:34am / United States (Georgia) / Health

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2009 at 1:13am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, I was playing in a basketball game and blocked this kid's shot. I was really pumped up about it until I realized the kid had cerebral palsy and the coach put him on the team because he really wanted to be on at least one team in his life. FML

by jalapenos99 / 04/01/2009 at 8:36pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids