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  • Number of visits : 3162
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Jazzy9999's page activity

Visits<b>brb223</b> - the 08/05/2016 at 2:48pm<b>graced91</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 8:50am<b>PiscesNation</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 2:50pm<b>sherry_berryxoxo</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 4:09pm<b>RedMosquito</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 6:40pm<b>cherrio27</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 3:22pm<b>garage</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 8:22pm<b>lovethenumber13</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 6:07am<b>UNLUCKYyY1037</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 11:28am<b>gantoman</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 4:51am<b>z0mBi3kiTTy</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 12:01pm<b>ermagherdaturdis</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 8:04am<b>Earrings100</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 11:46am<b>krupa1017</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 8:27pm<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 8:24pm<b>R3TROxLOV3</b> - the 04/01/2014 at 11:46pm<b>chaoss10</b> - the 04/01/2014 at 7:57am<b>Raelthelamb</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 8:05pm

Jazzy9999's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of Jazzy9999's badges

Jazzy9999's favorite FMLs

Today, in an effort to be fitter, I joined a Pilates class. Ten minutes into it, I dropped a 10-pound dumbbell on my face. I now have a horrific looking black eye, and half of my cheek is a mottled green color. Not to mention the cut above my eye that needed 4 stitches. FML

by Rowaelin16 / 09/22/2016 at 11:31pm / United States (Illinois) / Health

Today, my current wife left me for my ex-wife. FML

by an unlucky man / 08/05/2016 at 5:37am / United States (California) / Love

Today, a lady who works for my husband confided in me that they've been sleeping with each other and now she's pregnant. She didn't know I was his wife. FML

by naesha / 03/16/2014 at 9:40pm / United States (Tennessee) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I followed my wife out, since she's been acting strangely lately and I was suspicious. She met up with a guy at a restaurant, who she later claimed was her brother. Either she's cheating on me, or it's tradition in her family to make out and grope each other at the end of meals. FML

by broken vows / 03/15/2014 at 5:48pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I was supposed to be studying for an important exam. My parents decided to make me go to a surprise birthday party instead. We weren't allowed to leave until the party was over. The party was for the dog. FML

by SchoolFMLs / 02/27/2014 at 1:30pm / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, I learned that no matter how much you want the Nutella, it's never a good idea to deep-throat the knife. FML

by Anonymous / 02/27/2014 at 9:34am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boss fired me. I can't really explain the slap I gave him for it, though. FML

by sistermonster / 02/26/2014 at 4:45am / France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur) / Work

Today, I wanted to pretend to have a seizure so my baby sister could know when to call 911. When I fell down and started to pretend, she decided to drink my soda instead of helping me. FML

by Anonymous / 02/25/2014 at 10:50pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend wanted to take our relationship to the next level. I assumed since we live together that he meant marriage. I was wrong; the next level is me jacking him off with my feet. FML

by Anonymous / 02/23/2014 at 12:29pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I was throwing rocks into a pond while our class was on a field trip. The teacher started to pass around an old rare civil war bullet. As the bullet got to me, I threw another rock in the river, only to notice a rock in my hand and the bullet gone. FML

by Anonymous / 02/16/2014 at 9:29pm / United States (West Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized I willingly support my boyfriend's alcoholism, because the only time he says "I love you" is when he's blind drunk. FML

by Anonymous / 01/10/2014 at 6:05pm / United States / Love

Today, I was proud when I started a confrontation with my best friend's brother because he is a sexist pig who treats women like crap. Six hours later my pride was gone: I made him an after-sex sandwich. FML

by Ashamed_Sister / 11/30/2013 at 2:35am / Namibia (Windhoek) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my 7 year old daughter explained to a taxi driver that she was born from my "vagina that doesn't have hair". He winked creepily at me and said, "I bet it doesn't." FML

by jazopalchris / 11/25/2013 at 6:42pm / Australia (South Australia) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend won a diamond engagement ring through a citywide competition. Instead of proposing to me, he's selling it. FML

by arthise / 10/09/2013 at 3:03am / United States (Indiana) / Love

Today, yet again, I got to my desk at work at 8 AM to find my laptop turned on and porn sites opened. Weird porn sites. I have no idea who is doing this, or how they have access to my office, or how they got my login password. HR thinks I'm making this up. FML