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Jazzy9999's FML badges
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
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Jazzy9999's favorite FMLs
Today, in an effort to be fitter, I joined a Pilates class. Ten minutes into it, I dropped a 10-pound dumbbell on my face. I now have a horrific looking black eye, and half of my cheek is a mottled green color. Not to mention the cut above my eye that needed 4 stitches. FML
by Rowaelin16 / 09/22/2016 at 11:31pm / United States (Illinois) / Health
by an unlucky man / 08/05/2016 at 5:37am / United States (California) / Love
by naesha / 03/16/2014 at 9:40pm / United States (Tennessee) / Love
Today, I followed my wife out, since she's been acting strangely lately and I was suspicious. She met up with a guy at a restaurant, who she later claimed was her brother. Either she's cheating on me, or it's tradition in her family to make out and grope each other at the end of meals. FML
by broken vows / 03/15/2014 at 5:48pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, I was supposed to be studying for an important exam. My parents decided to make me go to a surprise birthday party instead. We weren't allowed to leave until the party was over. The party was for the dog. FML
by SchoolFMLs / 02/27/2014 at 1:30pm / United States (Florida) / Animals
by Anonymous / 02/27/2014 at 9:34am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
by sistermonster / 02/26/2014 at 4:45am / France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur) / Work
by Anonymous / 02/25/2014 at 10:50pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids
by Anonymous / 02/23/2014 at 12:29pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, I was throwing rocks into a pond while our class was on a field trip. The teacher started to pass around an old rare civil war bullet. As the bullet got to me, I threw another rock in the river, only to notice a rock in my hand and the bullet gone. FML
by Anonymous / 02/16/2014 at 9:29pm / United States (West Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/10/2014 at 6:05pm / United States / Love
Today, I was proud when I started a confrontation with my best friend's brother because he is a sexist pig who treats women like crap. Six hours later my pride was gone: I made him an after-sex sandwich. FML
by Ashamed_Sister / 11/30/2013 at 2:35am / Namibia (Windhoek) / Love
by jazopalchris / 11/25/2013 at 6:42pm / Australia (South Australia) / Kids
by arthise / 10/09/2013 at 3:03am / United States (Indiana) / Love
Today, yet again, I got to my desk at work at 8 AM to find my laptop turned on and porn sites opened. Weird porn sites. I have no idea who is doing this, or how they have access to my office, or how they got my login password. HR thinks I'm making this up. FML
by MymB612 / 09/24/2013 at 7:15am / Work
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…