Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Jazoo1

Search for a member

Jazoo1
  • Town/Country : (Hidden), United States of America
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 335
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 28 posted

About Jazoo1 : Hi! You may see I have a lot of un-confirmed FMLs. This is because someone got on my account and spammed the writing box. Sorry for that.

Jazoo1's last visitors

i_wuz_nver_herekatertottcrazycatbitchstripes97LovePerfectionlaniparisx_the_lancer_xpunkyboyMysticAmmudickledorf

Jazoo1's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of Jazoo1's badges

Jazoo1's favorite FMLs

Today, I was woken up by my elderly neighbor banging on my door at 2am. She needed "urgent" assistance as she had forgotten how to turn her TV off. I'd just fallen asleep. FML

#20184989
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17932) - you deserved it (1367)

On 11/30/2012 at 2:29am - misc - by Rachael (woman) - Australia

Today, I went on a field trip with some people from school. I'm currently confined to a wheelchair, so I had to rely on my sister to get around. She eventually went off with her friends, assuming that the people nearby would keep me company. Five minutes later, they'd all left me. FML

#20135712
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21391) - you deserved it (1562)

On 10/27/2012 at 4:04pm - misc - by left4dead (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I realized that I spend more money on gas to go to my job than what I get paid. FML

#20086643
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20343) - you deserved it (2707)

On 09/24/2012 at 2:21pm - work - by izziegrl - Mexico (Mexico)

Today, as a pizza delivery guy, I was forced to see yet another naked 200 pound teenage girl with a serious case of body acne. They're starting to give me nightmares. FML

#20081849
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22889) - you deserved it (2691)

On 09/21/2012 at 6:57am - work - by scarred for life - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out what it feels like to have a cotton swab shoved up my cock's piss-pipe. FML

#20057281
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19149) - you deserved it (6443)

On 09/04/2012 at 11:09am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my boyfriend and I reached that point in our relationship where just a simple phone conversation was too boring. His idea to spice things up? Playing Minecraft together. FML

#20035502
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16102) - you deserved it (5541)

On 08/22/2012 at 11:13am - love - by Minecraftwhyyy (woman) - United States

Today, I walked into the restroom at work, only to find my boss stroking and playing with himself. I have my annual performance assessment with him in an hour. FML

#20033901
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26560) - you deserved it (1799)

On 08/21/2012 at 1:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had to turn down an offer of what seemed like some sexy time with a cute girl because my intestines were bursting with an intense desire to unleash molten lava. I rushed home to squat down, only to let out a disappointingly small piece of crud and a tiny fart. FML

#19984638
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25981) - you deserved it (4863)

On 07/26/2012 at 1:39am - intimacy - by Jarman (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML

#19981825
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17785) - you deserved it (4380)

On 07/24/2012 at 4:08pm - health - by *facefloor* (man) - United States

Today, I got into a huge fight with a girl at school. My mom and dad decided to punish me by letting my three older brothers pick out my wardrobe for the next week. FML

#19812569
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20489) - you deserved it (14151)

On 06/19/2012 at 12:38pm - misc - by Shelby - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was at work when a co-worker decided it would be funny to email me from my boss's computer to tell me I had been laid off. It wasn't funny when I was fired for real after "skipping work without giving notice." FML

#19805072
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25344) - you deserved it (1777)

On 06/18/2012 at 12:39am - work - by Adam Jensen - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I told my mom I was going out to hang out with some friends. She looked me dead in the eye and said, "Don't lie to me." FML

#19687214
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16926) - you deserved it (1564)

On 05/27/2012 at 4:00am - misc - by cloudberry - United States (New York)

Today, depressed about a recent break-up with my long-term boyfriend, I bought a book about moving on after a relationship ends. The cashier placed some standard promotional fliers in my bag during check-out. Once home, I pulled out the fliers. They were for a married couples retreat. FML

#19404981
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18474) - you deserved it (2403)

On 04/04/2012 at 1:43am - love - by heartsick (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was talking about phobias and anxiety disorders in psychology class. I nearly had a panic attack because I was worried that someone might realize I suffer from them. FML

#19370577
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19764) - you deserved it (3382)

On 03/29/2012 at 4:16pm - work - by nicoleee - United States

Today, I accused a student in my class of getting his dad to do his homework. It turns out that his dad died 2 years ago. FML

#19243777
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6495) - you deserved it (48980)

On 03/09/2012 at 1:43am - work - by ITM21 - United States



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: