Javier6597

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Offline (the 04/22/2016 at 7:48pm)

Javier6597

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 4 June 1997 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 9990
  • Number of comments : 43
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About Javier6597 : Demon Rapist Panda

Javier6597's page activity

Visits<b>josef_connolly</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 5:50am<b>Ben_Dover831</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 3:40am<b>nena_kievu</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 6:15pm<b>IAm123</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 5:37pm<b>Sayeret_Matkal</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 1:25pm<b>xXMlg420RektXx</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 12:03am<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 8:08pm<b>Andrew6499</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 5:21am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 7:06am<b>Bloodangel456</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 6:26am<b>Toughsky</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 2:27pm<b>Faithilicious123</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 11:07am<b>jerryverhagen</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 10:37am<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 2:33pm<b>g_moonaayy</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 10:19pm<b>maximus_prime</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 9:03pm<b>martin8337</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 1:03am<b>rabbi1010</b> - the 04/30/2014 at 10:14am

Fucked!<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 2:08am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 1:06pm<b>Bloodangel456</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 12:26pm

Javier6597's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of Javier6597's badges

Javier6597's favorite FMLs

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend, and I really started getting into it. I said, "Hang on tight, this is gonna get intense." She replied, "Doubt it" and yawned. FML

by Anonymous / 01/29/2014 at 4:04pm / United Kingdom (Wrexham) / Intimacy

Today, as a priest's helper in church, I was giving Communion. It took me three people to realize that every time I was giving them the Eucharist, I was saying, "May the force be with you". FML

by sabz21 / 01/26/2014 at 11:37pm / United States (Connecticut) / Work

Today, while driving home, my 3-year-old daughter told me she had to poop. I told her that she would have to wait until we got home. When we got home, she pulled down her pants and shat on the floor, because, "I'm home now." FML

by mom / 01/25/2014 at 11:29pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend proposed: he told me the feeling he gets from being in love with me is the best feeling in the world, even better than the feeling he gets when he poops. FML

by Anonymous / 01/25/2014 at 10:43am / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I was going to have sex, so I went to my basement to get my builder bear that I had stuffed my condoms in. The bear was gone. My dad gave it to charity. 5ML

by Anonymous / 01/24/2014 at 12:32am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, school was out because of snow. My dad walked in my room and shouted "Why are you home?!" I told him why, and he replied, "Then get out the damn house and play in the snow." He tossed me out in nothing but my shorts. FML

by Anonymous / 01/23/2014 at 4:49pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was playing with my little nephew and began to tickle him playfully, even though I know he doesn't like to be tickled. When I was done, he looked me straight in the eye, punched me in the groin, and told me, "No one tickles me". He's six. FML

by Ginger_Gawd / 01/20/2014 at 10:34pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I was in a market in France, and went to ask the seller for some potatoes. I speak fluent French, but I got flustered and instead of saying "pomme de terre", which is the French for potato, I said "pomme de merde". I literally asked for an "apple of shit". FML

Today, while I was fooling around with my girlfriend, she hurt her hand. It obviously wasn't very serious, so I told her to stop faking it. She responded, "Wanna know what I actually fake? My orgasms." FML

by Anonymous / 01/18/2014 at 5:55pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, after arriving home from work I found that my dog took a dump down the air conditioning vents on the floor. Now the whole house smells so good. FML

Today, I found out my boyfriend has a fetish for cats. I think I'm going to have to meow before we do anything together. FML

by HaedLei / 11/26/2013 at 7:17am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I took my girlfriend to a scary movie, hoping I could comfort her at a scary part. Instead when a scary part came on, she reacted by throwing up all over my lap and the person in front of us. FML

by xHoho / 11/26/2013 at 12:50am / United States (North Dakota) / Love

Today, my parents kicked me out of the house because they were having a party. They gave me twenty bucks to go see a movie. Well, the movie ended pretty quick, but the trauma of seeing my parents in a swingers' orgy will take some time getting over. FML

by why god / 11/25/2013 at 1:16am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my mom visited. While she was using the bathroom, my man-child of a husband thought it would be funny to knock on the bathroom door with his penis, thinking it was me in there. She opened the door to find him standing there doing the "helicopter". FML

by LadyLola / 11/25/2013 at 12:22am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, my workplace had a big employee photoshoot for an ad campaign. I was there all of 30 seconds before the photographer said, "What the fuck? Look guys, this ain't an ad for facial abortions." He then asked me and another colleague to step out of the shot. FML

by fuggers :/ / 11/24/2013 at 4:38pm / United Kingdom (Hampshire) / Work