Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Javier6597

Offline (22 hours ago) | Search for a member

Javier6597

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 4 June 1997 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 8675
  • Number of comments : 41
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About Javier6597 : Demon Rapist Panda

Javier6597's page activity

Visits<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 7:06am<b>Bloodangel456</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 6:26am<b>Toughsky</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 2:27pm<b>Faithilicious123</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 11:07am<b>jerryverhagen</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 10:37am<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 2:33pm<b>g_moonaayy</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 10:19pm<b>maximus_prime</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 9:03pm<b>martin8337</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 1:03am<b>rabbi1010</b> - the 04/30/2014 at 10:14am<b>ashleton13</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 11:34pm<b>davidisbeast</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 4:07am<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/09/2014 at 9:47pm<b>PerSueTwo513</b> - the 01/05/2014 at 11:20am<b>Unionbay47</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 10:18am<b>TourettesGuyFTW</b> - the 11/26/2013 at 3:12pm<b>crimsonlilies</b> - the 11/23/2013 at 2:13pm<b>StrangeKitty</b> - the 11/07/2013 at 6:00pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 1:06pm<b>Bloodangel456</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 12:26pm

Javier6597's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of Javier6597's badges

Javier6597's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at the library, working with some classmates on our major semester project. I accidentally killed power to the row of computers by me. I've never had so many enraged faces looking at me before. FML

#21052823
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35700) - you deserved it (15169)

On 02/06/2014 at 10:07pm - work - by AnonymousQuagga - United States (Texas)

Today, on the eighth day of my diet, I met up with my study group. Everyone was snacking on junk food while I stuck to carrots. Someone put a Snickers bar on the table. "God, I want you," I thought. Turns out I was thinking out loud. The guy next to me inched his chair away. FML

#21050614
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38243) - you deserved it (7169)

On 02/04/2014 at 8:03pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I'm a little over a month pregnant. My fiancé has decided that if we both act like I'm not pregnant, "the baby will get the hint and go away". FML

#21050194
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54819) - you deserved it (6738)

On 02/04/2014 at 9:50am - kids - by LadyDeadpool88 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while at a funeral for a distant family member, I was giving my condolences to the family. When one of them asked how I was doing, I replied with, "I'm still alive!", which is one of my standard responses due to being a cashier and being asked that question a hundred times a day. FML

Today, I found a Google search for "erectile dysfunction" in my browser search history, along with pages about treatments for it. I'm a woman, and I live alone. FML

#21049445
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45238) - you deserved it (3433)

On 02/03/2014 at 4:16pm - misc - by jai90 (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, I dreamed that Robert Downey Jr. kept flirting with me and asking me out. Each time, I refused him, because I'm taken. When I proudly told my boyfriend, he said, "What the hell? I could've kissed the mouth that kissed the Iron Man!" FML

#21049393
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41265) - you deserved it (8368)

On 02/03/2014 at 3:11pm - love - by Can't Believe It. - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was bitched out at 2am by my parents, for trying to "sneak out." I was sneaking out of my bedroom to take a crap. FML

#21048094
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43160) - you deserved it (3769)

On 02/02/2014 at 12:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my evening was shot to hell when I found my pregnant wife on the floor, sobbing because we'd run out of cheese sticks. FML

#21046394
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43422) - you deserved it (8249)

On 01/31/2014 at 5:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was in the process of finally losing my virginity. Part-way through, my neighbour started shouting from his backyard, "Go, Nicolas! You can do it!" He was talking to his son, but the two of us have the same name. I couldn't finish. FML

#21046533
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57142) - you deserved it (6342) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/31/2014 at 4:05pm - intimacy - by prochainefois (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, me and my boyfriend were having sex. As we were getting into it, his cat came into the room, sat, and stared us down with what looked like disapproving eyes. After 5 minutes had gone by, we stopped completely. A cat just cock blocked me. FML

#21045897
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47753) - you deserved it (7059)

On 01/31/2014 at 1:16am - intimacy - by CatBlock (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had an upset stomach all day at work. When lunch break came, I rushed to the bathroom. Just as I turned into an unstoppable human whoopie cushion, a co-worker walked in. He heard the entire arse symphony, and just asked "What the fuck, dude?!" as he left. FML

#21045407
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42750) - you deserved it (4630)

On 01/30/2014 at 5:46pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I went on a blind date. The first thing the guy did was ask if I knew what it felt like to have spiders crawl out of my vagina. FML

#21044324
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50926) - you deserved it (5491)

On 01/29/2014 at 5:14pm - love - by riiiight (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, it's my 8 year anniversary. My boyfriend's "romantic" gesture for the occasion was to toss a few McDonald's coupons at me and tell me to get whatever I wanted. FML

#21044284
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45504) - you deserved it (6988)

On 01/29/2014 at 4:28pm - love - by CUNTCUNTCUNT (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend, and I really started getting into it. I said, "Hang on tight, this is gonna get intense." She replied, "Doubt it" and yawned. FML

#21044260
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52311) - you deserved it (16649)

On 01/29/2014 at 4:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Wrexham)

Today, as a priest's helper in church, I was giving Communion. It took me three people to realize that every time I was giving them the Eucharist, I was saying, "May the force be with you". FML

#21041278
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41616) - you deserved it (12564)

On 01/26/2014 at 11:37pm - work - by sabz21 - United States (Connecticut)



FML's blog

  • Angie's illustrated FML
  • Here we go again. This week I'm talking to you live from the Paris Japan Expo. I'm dressed up as Bernard from the Sailor Moon series, and I almost got kicked out because my katana wasn't the…

Friday 3 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: