Javier6597

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Offline (the 05/08/2016 at 7:18pm)

Javier6597

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 4 June 1997 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 10142
  • Number of comments : 43
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About Javier6597 : Demon Rapist Panda

Javier6597's page activity

Visits<b>josef_connolly</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 5:50am<b>Ben_Dover831</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 3:40am<b>nena_kievu</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 6:15pm<b>IAm123</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 5:37pm<b>Sayeret_Matkal</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 1:25pm<b>xXMlg420RektXx</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 12:03am<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 8:08pm<b>Andrew6499</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 5:21am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 7:06am<b>Bloodangel456</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 6:26am<b>Toughsky</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 2:27pm<b>Faithilicious123</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 11:07am<b>jerryverhagen</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 10:37am<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 2:33pm<b>g_moonaayy</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 10:19pm<b>maximus_prime</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 9:03pm<b>martin8337</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 1:03am<b>rabbi1010</b> - the 04/30/2014 at 10:14am

Fucked!<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 2:08am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 1:06pm<b>Bloodangel456</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 12:26pm

Javier6597's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of Javier6597's badges

Javier6597's favorite FMLs

Today, I decided to ask the guy I like if he'll be my Valentine. I wrote the question on a piece of paper and passed it to him, trying to be cute. He read it, wrote his answer with a smile, and passed it back. It said, "Depends, do you swallow?" No, no I don't. FML

by mariana / 02/07/2014 at 7:18pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, my girlfriend and I were quite drunk while we were fooling around on the couch, when I decided I wanted to lose my virginity to her. I was two thrusts in when she burst out laughing. Looking down, I realized I was between her cheeks and the couch cushion. I lost my virginity to her couch. FML

by Unknown / 02/07/2014 at 9:18am / United States (Iowa) / Intimacy

Today, I was at the library, working with some classmates on our major semester project. I accidentally killed power to the row of computers by me. I've never had so many enraged faces looking at me before. FML

by AnonymousQuagga / 02/06/2014 at 10:07pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, on the eighth day of my diet, I met up with my study group. Everyone was snacking on junk food while I stuck to carrots. Someone put a Snickers bar on the table. "God, I want you," I thought. Turns out I was thinking out loud. The guy next to me inched his chair away. FML

by Anonymous / 02/04/2014 at 8:03pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, I'm a little over a month pregnant. My fiancé has decided that if we both act like I'm not pregnant, "the baby will get the hint and go away". FML

by LadyDeadpool88 / 02/04/2014 at 9:50am / United States (North Carolina) / Kids

Today, while at a funeral for a distant family member, I was giving my condolences to the family. When one of them asked how I was doing, I replied with, "I'm still alive!", which is one of my standard responses due to being a cashier and being asked that question a hundred times a day. FML

by Merith2004 / 02/04/2014 at 12:18am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found a Google search for "erectile dysfunction" in my browser search history, along with pages about treatments for it. I'm a woman, and I live alone. FML

by jai90 / 02/03/2014 at 4:16pm / Netherlands (Utrecht) / Miscellaneous

Today, I dreamed that Robert Downey Jr. kept flirting with me and asking me out. Each time, I refused him, because I'm taken. When I proudly told my boyfriend, he said, "What the hell? I could've kissed the mouth that kissed the Iron Man!" FML

by Can't Believe It. / 02/03/2014 at 3:11pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I was bitched out at 2am by my parents, for trying to "sneak out." I was sneaking out of my bedroom to take a crap. FML

by Anonymous / 02/02/2014 at 12:33pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my evening was shot to hell when I found my pregnant wife on the floor, sobbing because we'd run out of cheese sticks. FML

by Anonymous / 01/31/2014 at 5:08pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in the process of finally losing my virginity. Part-way through, my neighbour started shouting from his backyard, "Go, Nicolas! You can do it!" He was talking to his son, but the two of us have the same name. I couldn't finish. FML

by prochainefois / 01/31/2014 at 4:05pm / Intimacy

Today, me and my boyfriend were having sex. As we were getting into it, his cat came into the room, sat, and stared us down with what looked like disapproving eyes. After 5 minutes had gone by, we stopped completely. A cat just cock blocked me. FML

by CatBlock / 01/31/2014 at 1:16am / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, I had an upset stomach all day at work. When lunch break came, I rushed to the bathroom. Just as I turned into an unstoppable human whoopie cushion, a co-worker walked in. He heard the entire arse symphony, and just asked "What the fuck, dude?!" as he left. FML

by Anonymous / 01/30/2014 at 5:46pm / United Kingdom (Lancashire) / Work

Today, I went on a blind date. The first thing the guy did was ask if I knew what it felt like to have spiders crawl out of my vagina. FML

by riiiight / 01/29/2014 at 5:14pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, it's my 8 year anniversary. My boyfriend's "romantic" gesture for the occasion was to toss a few McDonald's coupons at me and tell me to get whatever I wanted. FML

by CUNTCUNTCUNT / 01/29/2014 at 4:28pm / Australia (Queensland) / Love