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Javier6597

Offline (the 10/22/2014 at 4:10pm) | Search for a member

Javier6597

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 4 June 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 8331
  • Number of comments : 41
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About Javier6597 : Demon Rapist Panda

Javier6597's page activity

Visits<b>Toughsky</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 2:27pm<b>Faithilicious123</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 11:07am<b>jerryverhagen</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 10:37am<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 2:33pm<b>g_moonaayy</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 10:19pm<b>maximus_prime</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 9:03pm<b>martin8337</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 1:03am<b>rabbi1010</b> - the 04/30/2014 at 10:14am<b>ashleton13</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 11:34pm<b>davidisbeast</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 4:07am<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/09/2014 at 9:47pm<b>PerSueTwo513</b> - the 01/05/2014 at 11:20am<b>Unionbay47</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 10:18am<b>TourettesGuyFTW</b> - the 11/26/2013 at 3:12pm<b>crimsonlilies</b> - the 11/23/2013 at 2:13pm<b>StrangeKitty</b> - the 11/07/2013 at 6:00pm<b>BrownTaco</b> - the 11/07/2013 at 10:18am<b>MandyCat484</b> - the 11/06/2013 at 6:43pm

Javier6597's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of Javier6597's badges

Javier6597's favorite FMLs

Today, I took my kids to an Easter party hosted by a local church. The nice lady in charge told the kids, "Jesus died, but He rose to life again!" My 9 year old screamed, "LIKE A ZOMBIE!" FML

#21116666
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42326) - you deserved it (8296)

On 04/18/2014 at 8:14pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I took my car into a car wash. I guess it was a bad idea to do it with my dog in the car, because he freaked out, started scrambling around, and ended up pissing on everything, me included. FML

#21116391
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35799) - you deserved it (12538)

On 04/18/2014 at 2:24pm - animals - by hold your horses pony boy - United States

Today, due to my short temper, I punched myself in the nose because I wouldn't stop sneezing. FML

#21116112
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22661) - you deserved it (55512)

On 04/18/2014 at 7:09am - health - by Ow (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my professor ran half a mile in the pouring rain just to return my cell phone, which I had left behind in lecture. Shocked and embarrassed, I exclaimed, "You shouldn't have!" "Damn right," he responded, "I'm 64 years old." FML

#21113974
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40199) - you deserved it (12067)

On 04/15/2014 at 7:18pm - work - by sad but true. - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I proudly informed my grandma that I now have a girlfriend. My grandpa overheard and said how surprising that was, given how expensive blowup dolls are. He and my grandma then both laughed out loud. FML

#21061712
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44157) - you deserved it (5667)

On 02/15/2014 at 6:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I told my husband how frisky I was feeling, and asked him what he was going to do about it. He reached into our fruit bowl, tossed me a banana and told me to work it out, then returned to his video game. FML

#21061692
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52827) - you deserved it (7862)

On 02/15/2014 at 5:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my dad gave me the sex talk. After telling me all the stuff I already knew, he told me never to use Durex condoms. He said, "They break a lot. That's the only reason you're around today, really." then chuckled to himself. FML

#21060563
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56436) - you deserved it (5383)

On 02/14/2014 at 5:41pm - intimacy - by accident (man) - United States (California)

Today, in the very middle of the night, my kitten started rubbing against my face. Thinking I saw her face in the darkness, I decided to kiss her before going back to bed. My lips made contact with her butthole. FML

#21058991
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48788) - you deserved it (17762)

On 02/13/2014 at 10:20am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, I discovered that when one of my toddlers throws up, the other sympathy-pukes too, and that this continues until they're both empty. I guess my car is going to stink of vomit for a while. FML

#21057222
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40524) - you deserved it (3248)

On 02/11/2014 at 2:10pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I heard my sister talking to my mom about me, saying that I have the ability to suck the life out of a room like a Dementor. I walked in and asked what she meant by that. My mom replied, "She means you're an asshole." I love you too, mom. FML

#21055293
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35843) - you deserved it (6344)

On 02/09/2014 at 12:00pm - misc - by jigglepuff - United States (Arizona)

Today, while playing a big basketball game, I had to run urgently to the bathroom because of a really hard diarrhea. I took the ball. FML

#21055217
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39060) - you deserved it (7507)

On 02/09/2014 at 9:36am - misc - by took it - United States (New York)

Today, and for the third time this week, I found a pubic hair in my soup. I'm currently bed-ridden and can't afford to piss off my boyfriend by complaining. FML

#21054632
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39818) - you deserved it (4841)

On 02/08/2014 at 5:14pm - misc - by vey (woman) - China (Beijing)

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. My hand-eye coordination went straight to hell and I managed to accidentally smack my nose into his penis. He told all his friends about it, and I'm apparently now known as Woodpecker. FML

#21054451
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51130) - you deserved it (10042)

On 02/08/2014 at 1:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I decided to ask the guy I like if he'll be my Valentine. I wrote the question on a piece of paper and passed it to him, trying to be cute. He read it, wrote his answer with a smile, and passed it back. It said, "Depends, do you swallow?" No, no I don't. FML

#21053668
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44217) - you deserved it (9487)

On 02/07/2014 at 7:18pm - love - by mariana (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend and I were quite drunk while we were fooling around on the couch, when I decided I wanted to lose my virginity to her. I was two thrusts in when she burst out laughing. Looking down, I realized I was between her cheeks and the couch cushion. I lost my virginity to her couch. FML

#21053213
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52720) - you deserved it (18608)

On 02/07/2014 at 9:18am - intimacy - by Unknown - United States (Iowa)



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