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Javier6597

Offline (the 11/08/2015 at 7:38pm) | Search for a member

Javier6597

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 4 June 1997 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 9621
  • Number of comments : 41
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About Javier6597 : Demon Rapist Panda

Javier6597's page activity

Visits<b>xXMlg420RektXx</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 12:03am<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 8:08pm<b>Andrew6499</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 5:21am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 7:06am<b>Bloodangel456</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 6:26am<b>Toughsky</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 2:27pm<b>Faithilicious123</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 11:07am<b>jerryverhagen</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 10:37am<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 2:33pm<b>g_moonaayy</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 10:19pm<b>maximus_prime</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 9:03pm<b>martin8337</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 1:03am<b>rabbi1010</b> - the 04/30/2014 at 10:14am<b>ashleton13</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 11:34pm<b>davidisbeast</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 4:07am<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/09/2014 at 9:47pm<b>PerSueTwo513</b> - the 01/05/2014 at 11:20am<b>Unionbay47</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 10:18am

Fucked!<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 2:08am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 1:06pm<b>Bloodangel456</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 12:26pm

Javier6597's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of Javier6597's badges

Javier6597's favorite FMLs

Today, I accidentally let a huge one rip while tending to an older patient at the nursing home where I work. The patient passed away shortly thereafter. Coincidence? FML

#21116703
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44889) - you deserved it (7151)

On 04/18/2014 at 9:19pm - work - by Anonymous - Norway (Nordland)

Today, I took my kids to an Easter party hosted by a local church. The nice lady in charge told the kids, "Jesus died, but He rose to life again!" My 9 year old screamed, "LIKE A ZOMBIE!" FML

#21116666
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43960) - you deserved it (8547)

On 04/18/2014 at 8:14pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I took my car into a car wash. I guess it was a bad idea to do it with my dog in the car, because he freaked out, started scrambling around, and ended up pissing on everything, me included. FML

#21116391
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37846) - you deserved it (13096)

On 04/18/2014 at 2:24pm - animals - by hold your horses pony boy - United States

Today, due to my short temper, I punched myself in the nose because I wouldn't stop sneezing. FML

#21116112
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23628) - you deserved it (57592)

On 04/18/2014 at 7:09am - health - by Ow (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my professor ran half a mile in the pouring rain just to return my cell phone, which I had left behind in lecture. Shocked and embarrassed, I exclaimed, "You shouldn't have!" "Damn right," he responded, "I'm 64 years old." FML

#21113974
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41623) - you deserved it (12531)

On 04/15/2014 at 7:18pm - work - by sad but true. - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I proudly informed my grandma that I now have a girlfriend. My grandpa overheard and said how surprising that was, given how expensive blowup dolls are. He and my grandma then both laughed out loud. FML

#21061712
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47524) - you deserved it (6049)

On 02/15/2014 at 6:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I told my husband how frisky I was feeling, and asked him what he was going to do about it. He reached into our fruit bowl, tossed me a banana and told me to work it out, then returned to his video game. FML

#21061692
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57927) - you deserved it (8508)

On 02/15/2014 at 5:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my dad gave me the sex talk. After telling me all the stuff I already knew, he told me never to use Durex condoms. He said, "They break a lot. That's the only reason you're around today, really." then chuckled to himself. FML

#21060563
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59123) - you deserved it (5626)

On 02/14/2014 at 5:41pm - intimacy - by accident (man) - United States (California)

Today, in the very middle of the night, my kitten started rubbing against my face. Thinking I saw her face in the darkness, I decided to kiss her before going back to bed. My lips made contact with her butthole. FML

#21058991
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50692) - you deserved it (18431)

On 02/13/2014 at 10:20am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, I discovered that when one of my toddlers throws up, the other sympathy-pukes too, and that this continues until they're both empty. I guess my car is going to stink of vomit for a while. FML

#21057222
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43709) - you deserved it (3554)

On 02/11/2014 at 2:10pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I heard my sister talking to my mom about me, saying that I have the ability to suck the life out of a room like a Dementor. I walked in and asked what she meant by that. My mom replied, "She means you're an asshole." I love you too, mom. FML

#21055293
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37184) - you deserved it (6509)

On 02/09/2014 at 12:00pm - misc - by jigglepuff - United States (Arizona)

Today, while playing a big basketball game, I had to run urgently to the bathroom because of a really hard diarrhea. I took the ball. FML

#21055217
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42091) - you deserved it (8026)

On 02/09/2014 at 9:36am - misc - by took it - United States (New York)

Today, and for the third time this week, I found a pubic hair in my soup. I'm currently bed-ridden and can't afford to piss off my boyfriend by complaining. FML

#21054632
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42088) - you deserved it (5060)

On 02/08/2014 at 5:14pm - misc - by vey (woman) - China (Beijing)

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. My hand-eye coordination went straight to hell and I managed to accidentally smack my nose into his penis. He told all his friends about it, and I'm apparently now known as Woodpecker. FML

#21054451
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53988) - you deserved it (10696)

On 02/08/2014 at 1:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I decided to ask the guy I like if he'll be my Valentine. I wrote the question on a piece of paper and passed it to him, trying to be cute. He read it, wrote his answer with a smile, and passed it back. It said, "Depends, do you swallow?" No, no I don't. FML

#21053668
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46945) - you deserved it (9958)

On 02/07/2014 at 7:18pm - love - by mariana (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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