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Jasziii

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Jasziii
  • Town/Country : Munich, Germany
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 25 October 1995 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 155
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About Jasziii : I don't know why I have a profile on here but definitely not to chat..I'm not an interesting person anyway, so yeah thanks for checking by and now click along. If u need to dm me then be sure you aren't creepy/kinky cuz that's just sick, alright? Thanks.
FC Bayern and JT, that's what I like!

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Jasziii's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a music duet in front of a crowd and 3 judges. I play tuba and my partner plays the saxophone. He burst out laughing in the middle of it because one note that I played sounded like a fart. FML

#21082619
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36953) - you deserved it (3797)

On 03/09/2014 at 10:09pm - misc - by some band player - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mother decided to tell me about how my twin brother almost killed me in the womb when his cord wrapped around my neck. When she left the room, he said, "You won't be so lucky next time." FML

#21081555
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40971) - you deserved it (3836)

On 03/08/2014 at 6:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, while on a date, I went to take a sip of my drink, but for some reason I expected a straw to be there. I ended up wiggling my tongue and mouth around my glass looking for it as I kept my eyes on my date. It must've looked like I was trying to be seductive in the creepiest way possible. FML

#21081466
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45251) - you deserved it (8511)

On 03/08/2014 at 3:53pm - love - by cunning glassist (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got a call from my daughter’s school today. She had been telling the teacher, "I have a huge boner." Apparently, some of the kids at school told her it meant 'headache' and she's been saying it all day. FML

#20928358
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38091) - you deserved it (2670)

On 10/20/2013 at 11:51pm - kids - by momaaa1342 - United States (Illinois)

Today, a customer called me "chink eyes", "dog eater", "bloody Chinese communist" and "ching chong." I'm black. FML

#20919376
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51062) - you deserved it (3197)

On 10/13/2013 at 9:14pm - work - by mustabeendrugs (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my purse was stolen from my bag while I was on the train. The thief will be surprised to find that it wasn't my money purse, but in fact my "period purse". Hope they find tampons useful. FML

#20906908
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47010) - you deserved it (3962)

On 10/04/2013 at 5:39am - misc - by haveahappyperiod (woman) -

Today, I was waiting in line with my boyfriend behind me. I decided to hold his hand and rub his chest while we waited. Then I heard a female voice behind me that said, "Ma'am, please don't touch me." FML

#20852134
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38105) - you deserved it (13674)

On 08/24/2013 at 11:18am - misc - by cpmolly (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my friends took my work laptop and changed the sounds. Now, whenever I remove a USB device, a woman's voice screams "Put it back!" and when I insert a USB device, it says "Oh, you need to push it in harder!" I don't know how to change it back. FML

#20793994
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52488) - you deserved it (6065)

On 07/20/2013 at 11:45am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I was at the park playing Frisbee with my friends, when I saw a boy sitting on a bench looking rather sad. "Hey!" I yelled, and he looked up at me. I lightly threw the Frisbee in his direction, and it hit him in the face. He was blind. FML

#20788974
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51301) - you deserved it (15831)

On 07/17/2013 at 7:15pm - kids - by WasntMe - United States

Today, trying to be funny in front of some friends, I held my cat above my head Lion King style. The height must have made him nervous, because he shat on my head. FML

#20788265
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25339) - you deserved it (46203)

On 07/17/2013 at 12:02pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was about to make a left turn. In the turn lane a little old lady was waiting for the light to change. On the back of her car was a bumper sticker that said "Honk if you love Jesus!" I gave her a honk and waved. She leaned out and yelled, "The light's red, asshole." FML

#20786059
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41896) - you deserved it (11923)

On 07/16/2013 at 9:12am - misc - by TNDriver (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my husband finally returned from his 18-month deployment. Sexually starved, we wasted no time getting busy. Later as we finally cooled off, I got a message from my Aunt. She was hiding in our closet the whole time to surprise us with cake for his safe return. FML

#20743795
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72779) - you deserved it (6473)

On 06/24/2013 at 12:37am - intimacy - by jgtrflynn (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I took my cat to the vet. The creepy vet looked me in the eyes and said, "This isn't the only pussy I'll be checking out today." FML

#20742647
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49844) - you deserved it (3522)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:26pm - misc - by o_O (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML

#20742609
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53829) - you deserved it (3197)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:02pm - misc - by ilivealoneandwhatthefuck (man) - Guam

Today, I was riding a bike when a truck accidentally hit me. The handsome driver came out and asked if I was alright. I said, "I am now" and winked. He said "Eww, no" then immediately ran away and drove his truck around me. FML

#20724353
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38333) - you deserved it (24152)

On 06/13/2013 at 9:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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