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Jarvo_666

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Jarvo_666
  • Town/Country : Burnham-on-Sea, England
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 7 April 1994 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 714
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

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Jarvo_666's favorite FMLs

Today, I locked myself in the bathroom and started spanking the ferret. I started to get really into it when my dad started pounding on the door and yelled, "Son, that's great staying power, but can you finish up already?" FML

#16068047
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12400) - you deserved it (45615)

On 05/06/2011 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Saudi Arabia

Today, I found out that my boyfriend cheated on me with my best friend. I texted her and I would never talk to her again. But I accidentally sent it to my other best friend, who responded, "I'm so sorry, I never meant for you to find out". My two best friends cheated with my boyfriend. FML

#14943630
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53487) - you deserved it (4135)

On 02/12/2011 at 12:19am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, for my mom's birthday, we went camping. At night, my mom and her boyfriend decided to have "Birthday Sex" because they thought everyone was asleep. Trying to not make it awkward for me and my friend that I brought along, I kept still. Soon, I heard my friend going to town on herself. FML

#12552368
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42010) - you deserved it (4265)

On 08/16/2010 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I drunkenly hooked up with my friend's cousin. After trying to stick his finger up my butt, he blacked out on top of me with his penis still hard inside me. I tried yelling his name and pushing him off, with no success. I ended up having to call my friend to help me. FML

Today, I got banned from my boyfriend's house for being an "insurance liability." FML

#8423454
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16011) - you deserved it (3459)

On 02/18/2010 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went to the DMV to renew my license. When I gave the woman behind the desk my name and social security number she looked confused. She then called over her manager, who did the same thing. Getting nervous, I asked what was wrong. Apparently according to the state of Illinois I'm dead. FML

#7179468
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41605) - you deserved it (1902)

On 01/06/2010 at 9:55am - misc - by driver (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend called my cell. I picked up and said "Hi, this is Lisa and I want you to fuck me raw". It was my dad. He was at my boyfriend's parent's house and forgot his phone. FML

#7097610
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7484) - you deserved it (26511)

On 01/02/2010 at 2:02am - intimacy - by Lisa (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I were gazing into each others' eyes in the moonlight after not having seen each other for a week. I thought he was going to say "I love you" and pull me in for a kiss. Instead, he said, "Since you can’t drive, we should get one of those two seater bicycles." FML

#6489348
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20254) - you deserved it (8079)

On 11/28/2009 at 1:32am - love - by tjcl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was outside, peeing on a cactus. Then all of a sudden my dog jumped on my back, knocking me into the cactus. FML

#6435507
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10160) - you deserved it (44882)

On 11/24/2009 at 12:11pm - animals - by yomamma787 - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I was outside, peeing on a cactus. Then all of a sudden my dog jumped on my back, knocking me into the cactus. FML

#6435507
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10160) - you deserved it (44882)

On 11/24/2009 at 12:11pm - animals - by yomamma787 - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my son's hamster died. It was overweight and got stuck in its plastic tube. My 6 year old son came downstairs to me smashing a plastic tube with a dead hamster in it on the kitchen table. He thinks I killed it. FML

Today, I got a new cat. I tried to reenact the opening scene from Lion King, where in Simba gets held up for everyone to see. The fan was on when I lifted my cat up. FML

#5990692
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10067) - you deserved it (63168)

On 10/25/2009 at 1:18pm - animals - by stixx (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got an email from the company that manages my cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML

#5663418
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45855) - you deserved it (3720)

On 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm - animals - by APetsPet (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was eating MandMs on a chair when I dropped one and it fell under my crotch. My mom came in to see my hand on my crotch and me muttering, "Where is that little bastard?" FML

#5187635
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56332) - you deserved it (14569)

On 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm - misc - by awilson (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he suddenly stopped and walked to the kitchen. He decided to bake chocolate chip cookies in the midst of our intimacy. However, he told me we could still continue while the oven preheated. FML

#4010717
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44223) - you deserved it (6362)

On 07/24/2009 at 5:30pm - intimacy - by jcooh0lla (woman) - United States (Connecticut)



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