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Jarl_the_Elite

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Jarl_the_Elite
  • Town/Country : WA, U.S.A.
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 371
  • Number of comments : 115
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Jarl_the_Elite : I like PI

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Jarl_the_Elite's favorite FMLs

Today, I had planned to break up with my overbearing girlfriend. She went into complete denial mode, bought me a pair of oversized sunglasses and tomorrow we're going ice-skating. Kill me now. FML

#20947052
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39332) - you deserved it (9569)

On 11/05/2013 at 9:53pm - love - by Trapped. (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my family got together for a big game of paintball. My grandpa wanted to play too, but I told him he was a bit too old for such a rough sport. He joined anyway, and spent the whole 2 hours hunting my dumb ass down. I'm now in constant pain after being riddled with paintballs. FML

#20941762
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19828) - you deserved it (47231)

On 11/01/2013 at 7:55pm - health - by nl4 (man) - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, I had to go to a big dinner with my insane relatives. Highlights of conversation included my sister telling us about the "country of Iowa", my dad accusing me of faking my chronic fatigue syndrome, and my grandpa claiming that Nelson Mandela is the Antichrist. FML

#20941414
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31926) - you deserved it (2375)

On 11/01/2013 at 2:38pm - misc - by FUCK ME, MAKE IT STOP (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while working customer service, I instructed a customer to press the pound key on her cellphone. She hesitated a moment before asking, "Um, the pound key? You mean the hashtag, right?" FML

#20941322
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39459) - you deserved it (3656)

On 11/01/2013 at 12:49pm - work - by #isthisthepoundkey? - United States (Florida)

Today, I got a new cell phone number and sent a text to my wife. Playing around, I said, "Hey sexy are you alone yet? I'm ready to come over." She responded with, "Hey, yeah he is at work - did you get a new number?" FML

#20941049
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78624) - you deserved it (4547)

On 11/01/2013 at 3:01am - intimacy - by PapaW - United States (Utah)

Today, I decided to try LSD with a few friends in a safe environment. As an artist, I had planned to spend my trip doing psychedelic paintings and had all my supplies set up. Apparently I spent most of my time in fetal position muttering about the "evil easel" and never even touched my canvas. FML

#20930479
333 comments

Today, as a science teacher, I did a science experiment in front of a class. One of my students asked me if it was "photoshopped." He was being serious. FML

#20930096
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40987) - you deserved it (2717)

On 10/22/2013 at 10:24am - kids - by jdawn99 - United States (Kansas)

Today, I heard crashing noises coming from my dining room. I got up to see what it was; my asshat cat was flinging himself at my chandelier. He'd figured out how to grab the ceiling fan from the other room, build momentum, and launch into my expensive chandelier. Hooray. FML

#20929956
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43545) - you deserved it (4600)

On 10/22/2013 at 5:12am - animals - by IamAflyingCat - United States

Today, I was assigned to fill in for a French teacher who was out sick. I had asked the class to name some French-speaking countries. I called on one girl and she replied, "Uh, Europe. That's, like, the only other one, right?" Nobody disagreed. I'm filling in for the rest of the month. FML

#20929522
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39603) - you deserved it (2457)

On 10/21/2013 at 9:40pm - work - by :| - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I replaced a usually fun collegue's picture of his kids with a picture of my face against glass, so it looked I was inside the screen. Everyone laughed, but he reported me because I tried to "erase his children" and "if anything happens to them" it's now my fault. FML

#20922441
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38364) - you deserved it (4508)

On 10/16/2013 at 4:22am - work - by Elcam (man) - Belgium

Today, I found out that my phone fits perfectly through the slot between the elevator and the floor. FML

#20921212
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45387) - you deserved it (4196)

On 10/15/2013 at 2:37am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went home after work with my best friend who I am also secretly in love with. We had a few drinks, were getting touchy, and one thing led to another. Before leaving, I got the courage to ask her out on a real date. Her only reply was, "I don't want to lose such a good friend." FML

Today, I tried to catch a train to get to my new job. I was stopped and told that I needed a pre-purchased ticket to enter the platform. The only way to get the ticket, they said, was by buying one on the platform. I arrived by taxi nearly an hour late for my first day. FML

#20916500
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33481) - you deserved it (3087)

On 10/11/2013 at 2:22pm - work - by sharkiewarkiemoosey (woman) - Switzerland (Ausser-Rhoden)

Today, I finally decided to stand up for myself and quit my crappy job working for my abusive father. I gave him a few insults too, to which he reacted by calling the police and claiming I'd threatened to murder him. I spent three hours in jail before they finally let me go. FML

#20916390
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36792) - you deserved it (2958)

On 10/11/2013 at 12:43pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, after sending in my passport application for a trip to Paris, I got a letter from the state department saying despite them having my original birth certificate, I don't exist. Upon calling them, I was told that it only proves I'm a citizen, not that I exist. I pay taxes and have a mortgage. FML

#20916188
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40065) - you deserved it (2161)

On 10/11/2013 at 7:45am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)



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