About Jarl_the_Elite : I like PI
Jarl_the_Elite's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
What'cha looking at?
You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Jarl_the_Elite's favorite FMLs
Today, after a broken smoke detector in my home caused the fire department to come, I got an angry visit from my neighbor who was upset because she had parked in front of a fire hydrant and got a ticket. She demands that I pay it, "or else." FML
by Anonymous / 05/25/2015 at 12:04pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up to my little sister strangling me. My parents accused me of making the red marks on my throat myself to exaggerate how bad it was. She's just "going through a phase", they say, and I'm a bad person for punching her to get her off me. FML
by Anonymous / 05/24/2015 at 11:15am / United States (California) / Kids
Today, my aunt, whom I live with, told me she is going to move out and demanded her half of the rent back, as she only spent two days a week there. When I told her that's not how rent works, she called my mom to tell her what a failure she had raised. Her own sons are unemployed drug addicts. FML
by Failure / 05/22/2015 at 6:14pm / Germany (Sachsen-Anhalt) / Money
Today, after being a resident DJ at a local club for over 4 years, I got fired. Not because I'm bad at what I do, but because my boss thinks I'm not 'having fun like the other DJs'. And by 'having fun' he means that I don't drink enough. I got fired for not being an alcoholic. FML
by SFBEL / 05/20/2015 at 11:56pm / Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant) / Work
Today, a new employee started at our office. She's about 18, barely does any work, chews gum loudly, has no manners, and happens to sit right next to me. She also threatens to report me for harassment whenever I politely ask her to not bash my chair with the back of her chair. FML
by Anonymous / 05/20/2015 at 12:17pm / Cyprus (Paphos) / Work
Today, I was fired for not asking a senior citizen for proof that he was over 21 and legally allowed to purchase alcohol. When I told my manager he was clearly over 21, he replied, "But what if he WASN'T?" FML
by Anonymous / 05/19/2015 at 7:43am / United States (California) / Work
by that was mine / 05/15/2015 at 6:26pm / United States (New Jersey) / Money
Today, at work, I was about to close a big sale, when a coworker rushed over and said there was a call for me in the office. He heavily implied my mom had died, and I rushed out. After I figured out there was no call and that my mom was fine, he'd already stolen my sale and the commission. FML
by Anonymous / 05/15/2015 at 4:58pm / United States (Illinois) / Work
by hendrixisgod86 / 05/15/2015 at 2:48pm / United States (Florida) / Transportation
Today, I got a text saying I was "banned" from a volunteer group by the vice chair. Why? Because him dumping me the night before and leaving me in the bar alone drunk and crying wasn't enough for him, apparently. FML
by bluestripedsockm / 05/15/2015 at 1:40am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I was walking my dog through a park with a lake. My dog was swimming in said lake, and then appeared to be having trouble keeping his head up. I put my phone and keys on the ground and waded to my dog. He was fine, but I turned around in time to see someone run off with my stuff. FML
by PrinceOfBritain / 05/13/2015 at 10:41pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals
Today, while out shopping with friends, I was apphrehended by two bounty hunters because they recognized my purple-dyed hair. Too bad my name isn't Natalie, who apparently shares the same hair color. They didn't believe me, even after I showed my ID. FML
by StargazeKitsune / 05/06/2015 at 8:48pm / United States (North Dakota) / Miscellaneous
by to_complicated_4_u / 05/04/2015 at 12:28pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by FMe / 05/04/2015 at 10:49am / United Kingdom / Animals
Today, I felt sick to my stomach, so I told my mother I didn't want to eat dinner. She started accusing me of being anorexic, so I ate a little bit anyway to make her stop. I then threw up, only for her to take it as confirmation that I have an eating disorder. FML
by I'm just sick, really / 05/01/2015 at 8:33pm / United States (Missouri) / Health