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Jarl_the_Elite

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Jarl_the_Elite
  • Town/Country : WA, U.S.A.
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 363
  • Number of comments : 115
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Jarl_the_Elite : I like PI

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100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

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Jarl_the_Elite's favorite FMLs

Today, I reduced my psychologist to tears. FML

#20976567
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39777) - you deserved it (3435)

On 12/01/2013 at 1:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, during a job interview, I was offered a sandwich. I politely declined, explaining that I'm a coeliac and would probably get very sick. He said coeliac disease "isn't real" and that gluten-free eating is just a fad. I had to leave when he kept pushing me to accept it. FML

#20976563
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37220) - you deserved it (3166)

On 12/01/2013 at 1:02am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway

Today, I actually thought of faking my own death to get away from my girlfriend and her insane, overbearing family. FML

#20974597
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41593) - you deserved it (6806)

On 11/29/2013 at 10:37am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was cleaning a pocketknife when I noticed a spider on my leg. My first reaction was to stab it. FML

#20974086
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39217) - you deserved it (39471)

On 11/28/2013 at 9:05pm - misc - by OuchImAMoron (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I arrived at work six minutes late due to heavily congested traffic. This is just two days after my boss put out a memo saying that anyone who's late to work from then until the new year will have their holiday bonus pay forfeited. FML

#20973886
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40451) - you deserved it (7533)

On 11/28/2013 at 5:03pm - work - by aaannnddd there goes my boner (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I met the guy I've been talking to online for two years in real life. He tried to convince me to have his children because they would be average height. He's a midget and I'm 6'2". This is the most romantic thing anybody has ever said to me. FML

#20973561
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42322) - you deserved it (5201)

On 11/28/2013 at 11:34am - love - by heightdifference (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was searched and questioned at the airport for having an apple. FML

#20971832
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36760) - you deserved it (4110)

On 11/26/2013 at 9:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my parents grounded me for being "addicted" to drugs because I've been taking pain meds every four hours. I had my wisdom teeth taken out yesterday, and my face is badly swollen. FML

Today, after having my sinuses draining for a couple days, my ma stopped by for a surprise visit. Upon discovering the trash can full of used tissues, she called my pastor grandfather to talk to me about the chronic masturbation problem I don't have, but that everyone now thinks I have. FML

Today, I was taken to the principal's office and bitched out about the dangerous weapon I brought to school. The "weapon" was a pocket fan. FML

#20967061
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37810) - you deserved it (2410)

On 11/22/2013 at 4:57pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I tripped and fell, damaging my sternum and making it incredibly painful to breathe in or out too much. About ten minutes later, I got the hiccups. FML

#20964854
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42183) - you deserved it (2461)

On 11/20/2013 at 6:53pm - health - by ChestExploding (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I woke up from a drunken one-night-stand. The person I slept with turned out to be heavily pregnant. She tried to convince me that I am the father and that I passed out for 7 months. FML

Today, my friends started calling me "Soberman" because I recently gave up alcohol and have a Doberman. Normally, I wouldn't mind the nickname, but they call me Soberman everywhere. My new boss now thinks it's because I AM an alcoholic. FML

#20964266
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35557) - you deserved it (2476)

On 11/20/2013 at 6:09am - misc - by juice723 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while working at McDonald's, an angry customer called asking for his money back. Apparently we'd put 6 cheeseburgers in his bag instead of 5, he ate them all and now feels sick. FML



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