Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Jarl_the_Elite

Offline (the 08/01/2015 at 2:52am) | Search for a member

Jarl_the_Elite

1Fucked!

Jarl_the_EliteJarl_the_Elite
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 10595
  • Number of comments : 147
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Jarl_the_Elite : I like PI

Jarl_the_Elite's page activity

Visits<b>Malteser95</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 4:01pm<b>Tony_BigBologna</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 1:29pm<b>Katerchen</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 5:51am<b>kaed</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 12:35pm<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 1:44pm<b>daken96</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 2:03am<b>NozomiTojo</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 9:46am<b>sarah5745</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 10:00am<b>stuckintime</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 6:20am<b>Dide9872</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 1:49pm<b>bethjlster1999</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 5:30pm<b>rockaroths</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 2:58pm<b>invadermaythe1st</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 11:40am<b>DrewJoeyPeyton</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 11:04pm<b>buckydargon</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 4:56am<b>Monday_funday</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 9:29am<b>mine___turtles10</b> - the 01/31/2015 at 11:40am<b>MarkSolo3</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 3:08pm

Fucked!<b>Paws_Cat</b> - the 01/03/2015 at 8:32pm

Jarl_the_Elite's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of Jarl_the_Elite's badges

Jarl_the_Elite's favorite FMLs

Today, I left a concert with my drunk mother who had spilled beer all over my shirt. I drove her home and she slept it off. Later, my mom "found" my shirt in the laundry and grounded me for drinking behind her back. She won't believe me that it was her. FML

#21422282
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25334) - you deserved it (1589)

On 06/07/2015 at 11:46am - misc - by MagnusDeus - United States (California)

Today, I was choking on a popcorn kernel at the movie theater. Nobody helped me. The workers in there told me to leave because I was "disrupting the audience". FML

Today, I was working on a project in my schools library when a group of teenagers came in and began loudly talking and laughing. When I asked them to please quiet down, the librarian asked me to leave for being too loud. FML

#21420156
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25732) - you deserved it (2272)

On 06/03/2015 at 9:25am - misc - by NoUsernamHere - United States

Today, I gave my girlfriend a hickey barely an inch from her vagina. She texted me later, saying her dad saw it and had grounded her. So yeah, I'm not sure I even want to know what the hell goes on in their house. FML

#21420087
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36806) - you deserved it (2562)

On 06/03/2015 at 3:22am - intimacy - by W T F (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, a customer complained that his earphones stopped properly functioning even though he bought them less than a month ago. After checking them, I realised that there was so much earwax caked into them that it affected the sound quality. FML

Today, I had to explain to my little sister that not all guitars are supposed to have a hole in them, that when I was talking about "breaking it in" I didn't mean I'd smash a hole in it, and that she shouldn't have taken a hammer to my expensive new guitar. FML

#21417642
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27273) - you deserved it (2636)

On 05/29/2015 at 3:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I received a promotional message offering a half-off deal on an expensive coffee maker. The only reason why I received the message is because I bought that same coffee maker yesterday and I signed up to their mailing list. FML

#21417141
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25883) - you deserved it (2671)

On 05/28/2015 at 1:41pm - money - by FFS - Cyprus (Limassol)

Today, one of my students tried to bribe me $200 to change his grade. When I said no and told him he was lucky I didn't report him, he went to the dean and told him I offered to change his grade for money. I'm now suspended and under investigation. FML

#21416617
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36670) - you deserved it (3173)

On 05/27/2015 at 12:25pm - work - by UN4 (man) - United States

Today, my dad stood by and nodded in agreement as my sister told me that my clinical depression is "getting REALLY old." FML

#21416569
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29031) - you deserved it (3434)

On 05/27/2015 at 9:39am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I had to write my own notice for enforced redundancy because my boss just went on a two week vacation. He told me to just forge his signature and that, if I wouldn't do it, he'd just make something up to dismiss me on codes of conduct. FML

Today, after being with my fiance for almost a decade, my future mother-in-law has been accusing me of being a gold digger because we want to buy a house together. She has conveniently forgotten her son was out of work for two years and I supported the both of us. FML

Today, I was wrestling in a tournament. I was in the finals about to win when the kid threw up on me. They thought I'd hit him in the stomach hard enough to make him throw up, so they disqualified me. FML

#21415763
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26641) - you deserved it (1661)

On 05/25/2015 at 10:24pm - misc - by wrestling probs - United States

Today, after a broken smoke detector in my home caused the fire department to come, I got an angry visit from my neighbor who was upset because she had parked in front of a fire hydrant and got a ticket. She demands that I pay it, "or else." FML

#21415473
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30575) - you deserved it (2109)

On 05/25/2015 at 12:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to my little sister strangling me. My parents accused me of making the red marks on my throat myself to exaggerate how bad it was. She's just "going through a phase", they say, and I'm a bad person for punching her to get her off me. FML

#21414899
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33410) - you deserved it (2089)

On 05/24/2015 at 11:15am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my aunt, whom I live with, told me she is going to move out and demanded her half of the rent back, as she only spent two days a week there. When I told her that's not how rent works, she called my mom to tell her what a failure she had raised. Her own sons are unemployed drug addicts. FML

#21414120
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29024) - you deserved it (1922)

On 05/22/2015 at 6:14pm - money - by Failure (woman) - Germany (Sachsen-Anhalt)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: