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Offline (the 09/15/2015 at 8:53am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 15966
  • Number of comments : 147
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Jarl_the_Elite : I like PI

Jarl_the_Elite's page activity

Visits<b>Goat_E_mom</b> - the 06/19/2016 at 11:37am<b>Spudnik</b> - the 02/12/2016 at 3:22pm<b>Sayeret_Matkal</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 10:30am<b>kageboy</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 5:29pm<b>eggnog5000</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 11:50pm<b>skyeeskellington</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 4:44pm<b>Katerchen</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 1:46am<b>mzhaze</b> - the 10/02/2015 at 11:17pm<b>Malteser95</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 4:01pm<b>Tony_BigBologna</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 1:29pm<b>kaed</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 12:35pm<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 1:44pm<b>daken96</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 2:03am<b>NozomiTojo</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 9:46am<b>sarah5745</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 10:00am<b>stuckintime</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 6:20am<b>Dide9872</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 1:49pm<b>bethjlster1999</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 5:30pm

Fucked!<b>Paws_Cat</b> - the 01/03/2015 at 8:32pm

Jarl_the_Elite's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of Jarl_the_Elite's badges

Jarl_the_Elite's favorite FMLs

Today, after weeks of my crazy girlfriend avoiding me because she knew I wanted to break up with her, I had no option but to do it by text. She told all my friends, who now think I'm a coward who isn't man enough to break up in person. They didn't even ask for my side of the story. FML

by Ngbaheir / 06/19/2015 at 10:36pm / United Kingdom / Love

Today, it's my birthday. I had asked my parents for a keyboard, and I was really excited to open the massive box they gave me. It was a computer keyboard. I've been playing piano for 11 years. FML

by THANKS / 06/19/2015 at 4:37am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I'm five and a half weeks pregnant. One of my coworkers told me that it sucks that I'll have to wait so long to show. I asked her what she meant; she replied, "It's always harder to tell when big girls are pregnant. Can't tell what's fat and what's baby." FML

by pregnantfatty / 06/18/2015 at 8:58pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work

Today, I was in a hot tub at a public sauna. After chatting with a friendly couple, I decided to go get some lunch. I was halfway out of the water when the man started laughing and said he'd thought I was a woman. I am. FML

by Anonymous / 06/18/2015 at 12:56pm / Netherlands (Limburg) / Miscellaneous

Today, my co-worker told me how "lucky" I am that I "chose" to be a lesbian, because I don't have to deal with "guy drama". I spent two years of my adolescence sleeping at a bus stop and begging strangers for money after I got kicked out of home. FML

by Lesbihonest / 06/17/2015 at 9:31am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the gym to try to get into shape. While I was running on the treadmill, my beer belly pushed against the emergency stop button, twice. FML

by Iarla_ceapaire93 / 06/16/2015 at 1:27pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Health

Today, while talking to my parents, I dropped an ordinary drinking glass. After I apologized and cleaned the mess, they told me that they had decided that if I couldn't be careful at home, I certainly couldn't be careful on the roads. They took away my keys. I'm 19. FML

by PatientlyDying / 06/15/2015 at 7:07pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, after 5 years in a row of my family doing absolutely nothing to even acknowledge my birthday, I got train tickets to see my boyfriend for the weekend and celebrate with him. I woke up to 6 angry texts about how I'm 'selfish' for not staying at home with my family. FML

by happy21sttome / 06/15/2015 at 9:39am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife paid a man with a fake crystal and an even faker accent to investigate the creakiness of our apartment complex floors. $300 later, she told me he'd found a "sinkhole of chi energy" and that the building may collapse if we don't pay him to disperse it. I want a divorce. FML

by Anonymous / 06/14/2015 at 11:37am / Croatia (Grad Zagreb) / Miscellaneous

Today, I slept through my alarm and decided to call in sick. After falling back asleep, I woke up to my younger brother robbing my kitchen. It seems he's been doing this for weeks, every time I leave for work. He won't even give it all back. FML

by queenbee / 06/14/2015 at 9:31am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, my parents bought my 11-year-old brother a MacBook for my birthday. FML

by thanks for the $5 gift voucher / 06/13/2015 at 12:34pm / United States (North Carolina) / Kids

Today, my neighbor's son siphoned the fuel out of my lawn mower and put it in his car. What he didn't realize is that the fuel mixture I use in my lawn mower would ruin his car engine. His dad says it's my fault and actually insists I should pay his pissant son's repair bill. FML

by Anonymous / 06/13/2015 at 8:42am / United States (Maryland) / Money

Today, I was joking around with my manager about faking an injury to collect Worker's Compensation. Then I actually slipped and sprained my foot, and now my manager thinks I'm lying. FML

by nancypants1124 / 06/12/2015 at 10:06pm / United States / Work

Today, my mother told me to take a quick shower. When I got out, she told me I took too long, and now I have to pay the utilities bill. My shower was two minutes long. FML

by Anonymous / 06/12/2015 at 9:56pm / United States (New York) / Money

Today, I was talking to an old man I met at a store. He just wanted to know a few things, and he asked about my day. I explained a few bad things that'd happened, then I thanked him for listening. He then asked, "So, how are we gonna do this?" He thought we were gonna fuck. FML

by Anonymous / 06/11/2015 at 5:20pm / United States (Montana) / Intimacy