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Jarl_the_Elite

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Jarl_the_Elite

1Fucked!

Jarl_the_EliteJarl_the_Elite
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 10273
  • Number of comments : 147
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Jarl_the_Elite : I like PI

Jarl_the_Elite's page activity

Visits<b>Tony_BigBologna</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 1:29pm<b>Katerchen</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 5:51am<b>kaed</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 12:35pm<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 1:44pm<b>daken96</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 2:03am<b>NozomiTojo</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 9:46am<b>sarah5745</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 10:00am<b>stuckintime</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 6:20am<b>Dide9872</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 1:49pm<b>bethjlster1999</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 5:30pm<b>rockaroths</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 2:58pm<b>invadermaythe1st</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 11:40am<b>DrewJoeyPeyton</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 11:04pm<b>buckydargon</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 4:56am<b>Monday_funday</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 9:29am<b>mine___turtles10</b> - the 01/31/2015 at 11:40am<b>MarkSolo3</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 3:08pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 8:46am

Fucked!<b>Paws_Cat</b> - the 01/03/2015 at 8:32pm

Jarl_the_Elite's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of Jarl_the_Elite's badges

Jarl_the_Elite's favorite FMLs

Today, my extremely religious mom ranted at me, saying I'd only bought an electric toothbrush so I could masturbate with it. I'm a guy. FML

#21435969
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27149) - you deserved it (1833)

On 07/03/2015 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by but cum to think of it... (man) -

Today, I was sent to the principal's office because I refused to take my earbuds out. Those "earbuds" are my hearing aids. FML

#21435419
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34958) - you deserved it (1510)

On 07/02/2015 at 2:59pm - misc - by Deaf - United States (California)

Today, my neighbor yelled at me for driving recklessly. I was going 35 mph, and she was stopped in the middle of a road around a blind curve. My "reckless driving" was slamming on the brakes so I wouldn't hit her. FML

#21435393
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23995) - you deserved it (1636)

On 07/02/2015 at 2:00pm - misc - by _whyy_mee (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after replacing several components on my new used car, I realized that the reason it wasn't getting the gas mileage it was supposed to because my coworkers take turns siphoning my gas while I work. FML

#21435168
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25750) - you deserved it (1457)

On 07/02/2015 at 12:16am - work - by thatshelpful - United States (Iowa)

Today, my flight was at the other side of the airport. I ran to the gate, to find that the flight had moved to the other side of the airport. So I ran again to miss my plane by a minute. However I did get a new flight... at the other end of the airport. FML

#21434898
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24132) - you deserved it (1589)

On 07/01/2015 at 3:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, we had a long meeting at work about how we are supposed to feel safe, and to come to the managers if we have any problems. I decided to speak up about a coworker that has been harassing me and several others. My manager laughed at me and walked away. FML

Today, a dog bit me on the bus. Instead of apologising, its owner said it was my fault because my hands "must smell of meat". I'm a vegetarian. FML

Today, I was legitimately sick so I called in to work. Apparently, 4 other guys on my line called in too. My boss thought we planned it. Now we're all written up. FML

#21433907
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23125) - you deserved it (1261)

On 06/29/2015 at 4:29pm - work - by Justincredible69 (man) - United States

Today, I have the flu, so I called my boss to let him know I couldn't come in today. He told me to think my "lies" through better, and claimed that you can only get the flu during winter. So I guess I'm faking my pale skin, short breath, runny nose, and constant sneezing. FML

#21432636
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24665) - you deserved it (1737)

On 06/27/2015 at 1:48am - work - by *cough* *cough* you're a dickface (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to my girlfriend's parents' house for lunch. I ended up in the bathroom constipated and remembered reading it's easier to "go" if you are squatting. My girlfriend's dad walked in on me perched on the toilet like an owl. FML

#21430214
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24429) - you deserved it (4490)

On 06/22/2015 at 4:58pm - health - by oh no (man) - United States (California)

Today, at my work in a call centre, a man called up on a very quiet line to report a car accident on his father's behalf because his father was deaf. I asked him to ask his dad if he was OK after the accident. I'd misheard him and he had said "dead", not "deaf". He started crying. FML

#21430016
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29274) - you deserved it (3556)

On 06/22/2015 at 7:35am - work - by Iamsosorry (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, my bike was stolen. These things happen so I went to work. On my walk to work a girl pulls up on my bike and says I need to fix the brakes, someone could kill themselves. Hands the bike to me and runs off. Not even 3 minutes pass as police surround me and accuse me of stealing my own bike. FML

#21429443
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25571) - you deserved it (1443)

On 06/21/2015 at 9:29am - misc - by cwell88 (man) -

Today, after weeks of my crazy girlfriend avoiding me because she knew I wanted to break up with her, I had no option but to do it by text. She told all my friends, who now think I'm a coward who isn't man enough to break up in person. They didn't even ask for my side of the story. FML

#21428807
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25093) - you deserved it (4427)

On 06/19/2015 at 10:36pm - love - by Ngbaheir (man) - United Kingdom

Today, it's my birthday. I had asked my parents for a keyboard, and I was really excited to open the massive box they gave me. It was a computer keyboard. I've been playing piano for 11 years. FML

#21428456
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28198) - you deserved it (4032)

On 06/19/2015 at 4:37am - misc - by THANKS - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I'm five and a half weeks pregnant. One of my coworkers told me that it sucks that I'll have to wait so long to show. I asked her what she meant; she replied, "It's always harder to tell when big girls are pregnant. Can't tell what's fat and what's baby." FML

#21428256
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28269) - you deserved it (4310)

On 06/18/2015 at 8:58pm - work - by pregnantfatty - Canada (Alberta)



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