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Jarl_the_Elite

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Jarl_the_Elite
  • Town/Country : WA, U.S.A.
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 353
  • Number of comments : 115
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Jarl_the_Elite : I like PI

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100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

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Jarl_the_Elite's favorite FMLs

Today, while lifeguarding, a kid thought it'd be hilarious to take a crap in the pool. The other kids freaked out and rushed to get out. Several of them slipped on the way out and hurt themselves fairly badly. Two parents are now threatening to sue us, and my boss blames me. FML

#21096273
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39918) - you deserved it (3053)

On 03/25/2014 at 5:53pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my clingy girlfriend refused to leave me alone long enough for me to read an article about dealing with clingy girlfriends. FML

#21095315
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38195) - you deserved it (5190)

On 03/24/2014 at 4:28pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my non-English-speaking grandma bought me a new t-shirt. It would've been sweet if it didn't have the word "bondage" written on the back in pretty, bold letters. I had no choice but to wear it while we went shopping. FML

#21094283
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32095) - you deserved it (3082)

On 03/23/2014 at 12:59pm - misc - by Anonymous - Egypt

Today, I learned that most teenagers would rather grab free candy from the broken vending machine than help the guy stuck underneath it get free. FML

#21093947
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39757) - you deserved it (4499)

On 03/23/2014 at 12:05am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to a paintball match with my family and the family of my brother's girlfriend. A few minutes into, my brother's girlfriend's dad snuck up on me, unloaded into me from behind, and snarled, "That's for knocking my daughter up." He got the wrong guy. My back is killing me. FML

#21092834
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36655) - you deserved it (2743)

On 03/21/2014 at 5:44pm - health - by iusedprotectionanyway (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I received my employee ID, which I have to wear at all times at my new job. The only problem is that in my photo, I look like a donkey having a seizure. Customers keep snickering at it, and my boss thinks I posed like that deliberately. FML

#21092790
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31732) - you deserved it (3670)

On 03/21/2014 at 4:46pm - work - by Lady Madeira von Cuntshunt (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, a tiny worm was wriggling across the screen of my Mac laptop. I tried to wipe it away with my thumb, but it just kept crawling. Turns out the worm lives *inside* my screen, beneath the glass. FML

#21092367
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39847) - you deserved it (3756)

On 03/21/2014 at 1:14am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I had a text message when I woke up. I was excited as I usually don't get texts from people. Turns out it was from T-Mobile. They text me more than actual people do. FML

#21091718
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35864) - you deserved it (4231)

On 03/20/2014 at 12:15pm - misc - by skrumpp (man) -

Today, a crazy woman grabbed my hair and mentioned how lovely it was. She then asked when I would donate it. I told her I didn't want to, at which point she started yelling that she was going to get some scissors and cut it all off to teach me a lesson. FML

#21090883
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41481) - you deserved it (3110)

On 03/19/2014 at 2:14pm - misc - by donttouchmyhair (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, my boss - AKA Satan - told me I'd better watch out, because I'm now top on his list of people to lay off next time the company downsizes. All I did was give a report to the board admitting that our sales are down this year. He blames me for making him look bad. FML

#21086597
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34375) - you deserved it (2991)

On 03/14/2014 at 3:40pm - work - by fucked (man) - Canada

Today, I came home from a long day from work, only to find a strange woman in my apartment. She explained that my roommate told her it was OK to spend a few days here. I guess he forgot that the room was mine. FML

#21083808
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34464) - you deserved it (2576)

On 03/11/2014 at 3:21am - misc - by why me? (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was on the subway, when the girl opposite me suddenly started shouting and accusing me of photographing her. I was reading a book on my phone, and I showed her the screen, but I got shoved around anyway by another guy, who threatened to report me for being a pervert. FML

#21082304
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37466) - you deserved it (2547)

On 03/09/2014 at 3:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Singapore

Today, every "entry level" job in my field is now requiring 2-5 years experience. I don't think they understand what "entry level" actually means. FML

#21078902
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38300) - you deserved it (2591)

On 03/05/2014 at 4:37pm - work - by mr1234 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I saw a kid getting bullied; a girl was hitting him in the head. After having an inner struggle with what to do, I tried to stop them. Both kids then turned on me, and called me a "hippo". FML

#21078067
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35970) - you deserved it (3733)

On 03/04/2014 at 5:55pm - kids - by meandme (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my students presented their projects on genetics to the rest of the class. One student told the class that salted and unsalted peanuts were an example of genetic variation. She was serious. FML

#21076929
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39902) - you deserved it (3960)

On 03/03/2014 at 2:58pm - work - by Biologyfacepalm (woman) - United States



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