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Jarl_the_Elite

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Jarl_the_Elite
  • Town/Country : WA, U.S.A.
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 366
  • Number of comments : 115
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Jarl_the_Elite : I like PI

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100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

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Jarl_the_Elite's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized that my boyfriend is so obsessed with tickling me that my body has developed a conditioned response. Now I flinch every time he touches me, no matter what we're doing. FML

#21111720
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34417) - you deserved it (3271)

On 04/13/2014 at 5:33am - love - by Ticklish - United States (Iowa)

Today, my father took me out for some driving lessons. Out of nowhere, a huge, apparently suicidal bird dove into the windshield, putting a crack in it. My father yelled at me as if it was my fault, and is demanding I pay for the repairs. FML

#21110397
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35911) - you deserved it (2797)

On 04/11/2014 at 4:07pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - Switzerland

Today, my psycho ex boyfriend, who I broke up with over a month ago showed up at my work yelling and crying because I didn't get him anything for his birthday. My boss now thinks I'm an asshole. FML

#21109350
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38378) - you deserved it (3756)

On 04/10/2014 at 11:50am - misc - by crazytown (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my teacher used an online program and accused me of plagiarism. According to the program, I plagiarized my own last name. FML

Today, my little brother was feeling like the god damned bratty douchebag he is and hurled a basketball at me. It missed, hit the wall, and rebounded straight into his face. He burst into tears, and I'm now grounded because my parents believed him when he said I threw it at him. FML

#21107739
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43318) - you deserved it (3097)

On 04/08/2014 at 4:13pm - kids - by vreenya (woman) - Chile (Region Metropolitana)

Today, I was given a call home, a 3-day-suspension, and a week of detention in school for a "serious violation of the code of conduct." Said violation? Jogging in the middle of the hall. FML

#21107042
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34743) - you deserved it (3672)

On 04/07/2014 at 7:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, while on a first date, I had to excuse myself to the restroom. I was still tired from pulling an all-nighter, and fell asleep on the toilet. When I woke up and rushed back out, my date was gone. Everyone now thinks I'm an arsehole who pulled the old "window escape" trick on her. FML

#21106078
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38187) - you deserved it (10649)

On 04/06/2014 at 5:07pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I witnessed my psycho neighbor put her cat in a cage, cross into my backyard, and set the cage down before returning to her house. She then called the cops and claimed I'd stolen her cat. The cops didn't believe my side of the story for a second. FML

#21106030
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41520) - you deserved it (2565)

On 04/06/2014 at 3:37pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I was feeling adventurous and decided to freeball it to school. As I went to sit down during first class, I managed to sit on my own balls, scream, then collapse on the floor gasping. My teacher thought I was screwing around and gave me detention. FML

#21104415
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30236) - you deserved it (16610)

On 04/04/2014 at 1:26pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Dominican Republic (Distrito Nacional)

Today, I discovered that the laser disc player I used to have was not in fact a laser disc player but a Pioneer Laseractive. Broken ones sell on eBay for $200 and working ones sell for around $1000. I sold a working one for less than $100-worth of credit at a second-hand store. FML

#21102658
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32685) - you deserved it (15416)

On 04/02/2014 at 4:20am - misc - by Sad Nerd (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my neighbor yelled at me because, according to him, the sound of me scraping the ice off my windshield wakes him up every morning. This is the same neighbor who ran over my mailbox last week because there was too much snow on his windows to see properly. FML

#21101388
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37294) - you deserved it (2354)

On 03/31/2014 at 10:03pm - misc - by IcyWindows - United States (Utah)

Today, I was stuck in the elevator for almost two hours. Where was the elevator mechanic? Next to me in the elevator. FML

#21098357
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40327) - you deserved it (2567)

On 03/28/2014 at 4:42am - work - by ClaustrophobicNightmares - Saudi Arabia (Ar Riyad)

Today, I was sitting in the coffee shop where my boyfriend and I used to go before he broke up with me about a week ago. I was missing him and wishing he was there, when all of a sudden this 14-year-old kid comes up to me and says, "He's not coming, you may as well go home." FML

#21097979
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39736) - you deserved it (5420)

On 03/27/2014 at 7:03pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I woke up at 3:00 am to the sound of a bird screeching. Turns out, my roommate bought a parrot without consulting me first. Even better, my roommate expects me to pay for half of the bird's expenses. FML

#21097210
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37104) - you deserved it (2580)

On 03/26/2014 at 7:44pm - animals - by In urgent need of a new roommate - United States (Oregon)

Today, while working at Dairy Queen, a customer asked me what was so special about our ice cream cakes, and how they're different from regular cakes. I chuckled, and told her it's because they're made from ice cream. She threw a fit, which resulted in me being written up and sent home early. FML

#21096589
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36783) - you deserved it (5227)

On 03/25/2014 at 11:53pm - work - by Coryj1220 - United States (Kentucky)



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