Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Jaredphamtom

Offline (4 hours ago) | Search for a member

Jaredphamtom

3Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 30 July 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1779
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Jaredphamtom's page activity

Visits<b>kianad97</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 1:24pm<b>fatiezzhm</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 5:25pm<b>cheeeksss</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 4:11am<b>cutycat136</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 7:24pm<b>BBeffedmylife</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 1:23pm<b>HarleyBlues</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 9:24pm<b>arasx0</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 7:53pm<b>UhHuhHoney</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 2:59pm<b>SlowDownImaNoob</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 12:06pm<b>Classy_Sassy15</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 7:42am<b>CAEDI</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 10:51pm<b>Andra11</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 4:24pm<b>molly471</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 3:30pm<b>delfino1604</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 1:36am<b>hekinokuroihi</b> - the 01/09/2015 at 1:09pm<b>katherhinooo</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 8:36pm<b>fickledrama</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 8:30pm<b>mxgirl1998</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 10:10pm

Liked!<b>Classy_Sassy15</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 1:34pm<b>kayladayla</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 10:55am<b>fickledrama</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 12:56am

Jaredphamtom's FML badges

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

See all of Jaredphamtom's badges

Jaredphamtom's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home from work to find that my girlfriend had sold all of my N64 and Atari games and both the consoles and bought me a PS4 with the money. While I was standing there in shock, she kissed me on the cheek and said, "I know, I'm the greatest." FML

#21361122
456 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43218) - you deserved it (4000)

On 02/22/2015 at 3:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I bought a small tub of coconut pieces in a bid to eat healthier snacks at work. I noticed that the chunks were a bit slimy, but thought nothing of it and kept eating. It wasn't until I reached the final few pieces that I noticed a huge black slug crawling across the bottom of the tub. FML

#21346678
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29716) - you deserved it (4860)

On 01/30/2015 at 6:00am - misc - by goodbyediet (woman) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I was ringing up a woman at work. I saw she'd bought a birthday cake, so I smiled and said I hope whoever it was for has a happy birthday. She looked at me in disgust, told me to mind my own business, then called me a "chucklefuck bitch". Okay then. FML

#21345551
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28451) - you deserved it (2229)

On 01/28/2015 at 10:01am - work - by retailshell (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, during a family game of basketball, my 15 year old son shoved me hard to get the ball. I fell and cut my arm badly on the ground. I yelled at him for being an idiot. He replied "Oh jeez, a bleeding woman being a bitch, what a fucking shocker." My husband doubled over laughing. FML

#21342921
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38147) - you deserved it (6711)

On 01/23/2015 at 2:25pm - kids - by nosexforthee (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was walking with a female friend when suddenly, my ex-girlfriend comes running down the street and says, "So, you're cheating on me with this slut, huh?!" We've been separated for a decade now. FML

#21336664
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35929) - you deserved it (2539)

On 01/13/2015 at 10:05pm - love - by RipeFlame - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first handjob. I was nervous, so when she went to do it, I panicked and yelled, "Firmly grasp it!" She then couldn't stop laughing because it was a line from SpongeBob. FML

Today, I had to call a few different women and explain to them that my little brother had catfished them. I had to do it because he is mute and my parents were too busy screaming at him. FML

#21335978
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25902) - you deserved it (1831)

On 01/12/2015 at 8:11pm - misc - by PO'd big bro - United States (Georgia)

Today, my vegetarian girlfriend put some ghost pepper hot sauce on my steak to teach me a "lesson" about eating meat. FML

#21330517
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35123) - you deserved it (4837)

On 01/04/2015 at 5:27am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out my 7-year-old daughter really did lie about my husband's "other girlfriend" as revenge for being grounded, and that he never cheated on me at all. We're well into our divorce proceedings and he won't forgive me for not believing him when he denied it. FML

#21327839
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23440) - you deserved it (42482)

On 12/31/2014 at 2:00pm - kids - by skanula414 (woman) - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, my Canadian friend is staying a few days at my parents' house. I drove him from the airport, only to find my idiot dad had decked the spare room out with maple syrup bottles. He keeps saying "eh" all the time and asked "What's he so upset aboot?" when my friend was offended. FML

#21316775
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31043) - you deserved it (2982)

On 12/13/2014 at 1:36pm - misc - by ehxtraordinarily pissed (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I sat on the bus for 3 hours stuck in traffic trying to ignore the old lady sitting next to me discreetly masturbating. FML

Today, my boyfriend made me a milkshake. It was pale yellow with some black spots. He told me it was banana and poppy seed. After drinking it, he told me they weren't poppy seeds. They were his pubes. FML

#21313388
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36947) - you deserved it (4336)

On 12/07/2014 at 9:12pm - misc - by pubemilkshake - United States (Utah)

Today, on our third date, my date tried to get me drunk and kept trying to touch me up. When I said he was moving too fast, he sighed and soon left. Just minutes later, he posted on Facebook saying "Just got friendzoned -_-". One of his friends commented: "I hate bitches, man." FML

#21303774
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34481) - you deserved it (4025)

On 11/22/2014 at 8:44am - love - by drop dead single (woman) - United States

Today, my teacher "busted" me for writing down answers on my arm for a test. The so called "answers" was just a duck my little nephew had drawn on my hand the night before. She's actually trying to get me suspended over it. FML

#21298328
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35048) - you deserved it (2082)

On 11/13/2014 at 1:17pm - misc - by really - Canada (Alberta)

Today, someone stole my coat. I can only imagine their surprise when they find the $3,000 engagement ring I bought earlier. FML

#21284412
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41861) - you deserved it (3296)

On 10/24/2014 at 1:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #12
  • Another month, another bunch of shitposts. Yes, it's time to delve into the postbag and have another look at the weird and wonderful stuff we've been sent by people from all over the world. Hope you…

Tuesday 3 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: