About Januzane : Hey you over there! Yes you. Grab a seat while I stare at you and tell stories about turtles and trains.
Januzane's FML badges
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Januzane's favorite FMLs
by Annoyed / 05/10/2016 at 9:23pm / United States (Florida) / Work
by nopethanks / 10/31/2014 at 8:05am / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend told my four-year-old sister that "fatass" means "beautiful lady." I didn't know about this until I took my sister shopping with me. The woman at the till said she was adorable; my sister replied, "Thanks, fatass." FML
by Anonymous / 10/31/2014 at 6:55am / United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff) / Kids
by Anonymous / 10/30/2014 at 4:55pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
Today, my little sister decided to color-in my favorite black-and-white comic book. It was worth over $200. When I told my mother, she said, "Oh that old thing? I thought it was a stupid coloring book you were too stupid to color." FML
by NoColor / 10/29/2014 at 9:09am / United States (California) / Kids
by subduedbeast / 10/27/2014 at 2:48pm / United States / Love
Today, I stumbled across one of my son's English assignments. Apparently, he decided to submit a haiku about how electrical outlets are technically "whores" because they hook up with countless cords for a "charge." I don't know whether to be amused or furious. FML
by MySonThePoet / 10/26/2014 at 10:42pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids
by Anonymous / 10/25/2014 at 11:28pm / United States (Oregon) / Geek
by Anonymous / 10/25/2014 at 8:51pm / United States (Indiana) / Animals
Today, let's just say it's not always a good idea to storm into your mum's bedroom after hearing several loud slaps accompanied by yelps. What sounds like domestic violence might just be your mum and step-dad's foreplay. For Christ's sake, I need brain bleach. FML
by Anonymous / 10/25/2014 at 5:31pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Intimacy
Today, I was hugging my girlfriend after she had a really bad day at work, when she burst into tears and started sobbing. For some reason that I'll never understand, it gave me a hard-on. She felt it, and now she thinks I'm a sick bastard. FML
by Anonymous / 10/25/2014 at 2:44pm / United States (Alabama) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 10/24/2014 at 8:30pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Love
Today, my boyfriend and I tried roleplaying a teacher-student during sex. We're both studying to be actors, so we ended up going into a really deep, emotional storyline that didn't end in sex at all. FML
by too good / 10/24/2014 at 6:54am / United Kingdom (Kent) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 12/22/2013 at 2:10pm / Israel / Kids
Today, my mum and I were referred to as "ladies". I'm happy for her, since she always complains about looking masculine. However, I would still like to be called a gentleman, seeing as how I am one. FML
by FML / 12/21/2013 at 11:58am / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Miscellaneous
- Today while walking to the shop under the blistering African sun, I stepped on something that stuck… Today, While at a resort, my friends and I decided to go to the indoor pool. I was surprised when I… Today my fiancee and I were having sex, it was lovely and we both were really into it. I decided to…