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Jameslicious's FML badges
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
Jameslicious's favorite FMLs
Today, my wife announced she had a sexy surprise for me. Turns out she got a Brazilian wax, which is a huge turn-off for me. Not only could I not get it up, I got to hear all about how much her last boyfriend loved it. FML.
by HairToStay / 09/19/2016 at 12:04pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
Today, I was told I have narcolepsy, and I've it for a year and a half. When asked why I didn't go to a doctor before, I answered that I'd always assumed it was a normal adult thing to fall asleep randomly because of how everyone says they're always exhausted. Apparently not. FML
by littlekellilee / 09/16/2016 at 12:27am / Canada / Health
Today, as I was walking up to a urinal I heard a small hiss. I looked up just in time to get an eye full of chemicals from the automatic air freshener. I rinsed my eye out and went back to the urinal. It happened again. FML
by el_Jeffe_D / 09/11/2016 at 12:05pm / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous
Today, I lifted up a watermelon, not realising it had gone bad. The thing exploded like an alien giving birth. Stinking juice and rotten inside all over the kitchen. Even behind the build-in closets. It smells like rotten fruit cheese and I can't reach behind the closets. FML
by melon squash / 09/11/2016 at 6:15am / Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant) / Miscellaneous
by meglast / 08/29/2016 at 12:48pm / United States (Texas) / Health
Today, on my second morning at college, I tried to make coffee using my Keurig. I realized after I got back from my shower that I hadn't put a cup under the machine. All 3 drawers of my dresser are now filled with coffee. FML
by cullenthegreat / 08/25/2016 at 12:26pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, it was another stressful day of watching servicemen at my job trying to figure out what broke an extremely expensive and essential machine. I'm just waiting for the day they finally discover the earring I dropped into it about a week ago FML
by Girl w/ the Pearl Earring / 08/22/2016 at 7:46am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work
by PeedMaPants / 08/15/2016 at 8:04pm / United Kingdom (Kent) / Work
by Bg2466 / 08/14/2016 at 11:17pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
Today, I was practicing for a Cambodian ceremony. I'm American. My fiancée is Cambodian. While doing the practice, I had six people in my face telling me what to do, all at the same time. I got frustrated and accidentally blurted out, "This is fucking retarded." Now the whole family is mad at me. FML
by rcoale1983 / 08/14/2016 at 1:59pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
by chewsef / 08/08/2016 at 11:22pm / United States (California) / Money
by FlyingCoffeeMonster / 08/08/2016 at 3:12pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had a terrible stomach ache and had some pretty bad gas at work. I tried to head down to the basement for a while to allow my coworkers to continue in peace. About an hour after I came back up, my boss called pest control due to the horrible smell that "must be dead rats". FML
Today, I thought I'd spice things up by kissing my husband on the lips and then working my way down. But about halfway, I got some of his chest hairs lodged in my throat and started gagging. To avoid ruining the mood, I kept going, silently gagging, until we finished. I swallowed the hair. FML
by so unsexy / 08/04/2016 at 5:32pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
Today, I made myself a snack. I took a seemingly clean plate from the sink which had been used earlier for scrambled eggs. Only after I'd made the snack did I remember I let my dog lick the plate clean. FML