Jakesterk96

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Jakesterk96

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 28 March 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1688
  • Number of comments : 287
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Jakesterk96 : Born in Miami, love basketball and miami heat and xbox 360- NBA 2k12, mw3, and Nazi zombies.

Jakesterk96's page activity

Visits<b>mondesno</b> - the 08/06/2016 at 5:03am<b>xxdreamloverxx</b> - the 08/05/2016 at 11:31am<b>ImKimitheEmo</b> - the 07/30/2016 at 12:45pm<b>Raleaf</b> - the 06/05/2016 at 6:41am<b>raven83</b> - the 05/24/2016 at 4:57am<b>swordyx</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 12:10pm<b>jman1324</b> - the 04/14/2016 at 3:46pm<b>thejpanderson</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 9:33am<b>vadskimer</b> - the 03/14/2016 at 11:02pm<b>youdontsay123456</b> - the 03/11/2016 at 4:21pm<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 8:56pm<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 12/01/2015 at 5:16am<b>swimthenread27</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 12:14pm<b>GreekGleek6</b> - the 10/05/2015 at 1:33am<b>Awesome58422599</b> - the 09/09/2015 at 3:15am<b>ToxicTyrael</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 3:05am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 5:49pm<b>Khepre</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 1:41am

Fucked!<b>ImKimitheEmo</b> - the 07/30/2016 at 6:45pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 11:49pm<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 5:31pm

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Jakesterk96's favorite FMLs

Today, I was posing in front of the mirror, when I realized that everyone who looks at me can easily tell which arm I use to masturbate. FML

by Anonymous / 02/24/2012 at 2:18pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, Target asked me if I would do the closing announcement. I've only been working there a little while, so excited I agreed. I told people, "The store is now closing, thank you for shopping at Walmart." FML

by Anonymous / 02/15/2012 at 9:03pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I had to chase my naked brothers around my house for twenty minutes, trying to get them to take a bath, all while they were chasing my best friend around yelling, "IT'S WIENER TIME!" FML

by ShylaMarie / 02/14/2012 at 5:29pm / Canada / Kids

Today, I got pulled over. When the cop asked where I was coming from, reflexively I said, "Your mom's house." FML

Today, I got pulled over. When the cop asked where I was coming from, reflexively I said, "Your mom's house." FML

Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!" FML

by gbhlaughingstock / 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom drove me to football practice. On the way she told me that she thought I was gay and that my friend was my lover. After 15 agonizing minutes of this, we get to my practice only to be greeted by my shirtless friend wearing a pink bandana saying "Man, you hit me hard last night." FML

by Anonymous / 08/10/2009 at 3:10am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was enjoying some much needed serenity while I ate lunch in an empty park. To my surprise, an older, clean cut man in a suit sits on the bench next to me. Without saying a word, he unleashes the most foul of farts I've ever witnessed, gets up, gives me a nod and leaves. FML

by Tim / 06/16/2009 at 2:15am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got hypnotized at my school's variety show. Apparently, when asked to do something I enjoy doing, I began to violently hump the floor. FML

by OhGeez / 06/08/2009 at 3:41pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Intimacy

Today, my mom talked about how it's interesting how there's so many different size of penises. She also told me that since she's doing hormone therapy she's able to orgasm a LOT more. We were stuck in stop and go traffic for 3 hours. When I turned on the radio, she turned it off and talked more. FML

by ITSnotFUNNYtoMEass / 05/25/2009 at 4:54am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years and I decided to have sex for the first time. When we were in the room, finally ready to start, she confessed that she had never seen a penis before. To make her more comfortable, I showed her mine. At the sight of it, well, she actually fainted. FML

by herve / 05/22/2009 at 3:50pm / Lebanon (Beyrouth) / Intimacy

Today, I took a call. Wrong number. A few seconds later, they called back and I told her that she had the wrong number. She said she just hit redial and didn't understand how she got me again. I tried to explain how redial works. She called me a moron and hung up. Then my phone rang again. FML

by Anonymous / 05/12/2009 at 1:39pm / United States (Minnesota) / Work

Today, while working as a makeup artist in the mall, I was approached by a man who wanted to try lipstick (not unusual we do a lot of drag). While I'm applying it he starts to make gross noises and after a quick glance I realize he has a massive erection. He then whispers mmmm don't stop now. FML

by Anonymous / 05/08/2009 at 10:53am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, whilst working at Subway, I took an order for 6 footlongs. The entire process took 15 minutes due to the customer's hesitant and glacial pace. When it came to paying, he pulled out his wallet, looked inside, looked at me, and walked quickly out of the store. FML

by matte / 03/30/2009 at 8:16am / Australia (South Australia) / Work

Today, I went out with this girl I really liked and she came back to my place. Things were heating up and we ended up having sex and I was on top. I was really into it and in the middle of it she held up her wrist and said "oh, look at the time, I gotta get home". She wasn't wearing a watch. FML

by crap / 03/26/2009 at 4:37am / Thailand (Krung Thep) / Intimacy