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Jaccob's favorite FMLs
by hinting / 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 06/08/2013 at 4:53pm / United Kingdom (Bromley) / Intimacy
Today, I realized my family is the textbook definition of redneck after listening to my grandpa threaten to smash with an excavator the trailer that my uncle lives in behind our house if he didn't return the set of tires he had stolen and pawned from my grandpa's garage. FML
by redneckfamily / 05/24/2013 at 3:06am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up without my fiancé in bed next to me, but I assumed he'd gone to work early. I went on Facebook to find that he had posted a break-up post to himself from my account and set my status to single. I then found a note with "Sorry" written on it stuck to the kitchen counter. FML
Today, my mom broke the news that my dad secretly got married two months ago, to a woman he has been dating for 15 years, and that my parents have actually been divorced for 12 years. They just lied about it this whole time. FML
by too young for this / 04/12/2013 at 1:11am / United States / Miscellaneous
by iwassoclose / 04/10/2013 at 12:32pm / United States / Intimacy
by dancekat / 04/08/2013 at 5:17am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
by SolaceInRage / 03/20/2013 at 7:53pm / United States (Illinois) / Animals
by Anonymous / 07/12/2012 at 2:40am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I came home earlier than usual, only to find my wife having sex with some guy on our bed. Her reaction to being confronted was to look me dead in the eyes and to scream and scream until I got so freaked out that I left. It's her house, and I'm sitting in a library with no idea what to do. FML
by yosenfal / 04/27/2012 at 9:04pm / United Kingdom (Plymouth) / Intimacy
Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML
by Anonymous / 03/25/2012 at 8:09am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 02/01/2012 at 10:01am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I was making love to my wife from behind. As we both reached climax at the same time, she threw her head back in ecstasy just as I buckled forward with pleasure. We slammed our heads together, effectively ending our orgasms. FML
by Abyssal / 04/04/2011 at 2:29pm / United States (Utah) / Intimacy
by cantgetup / 04/03/2011 at 12:10am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, I was reading my boyfriend's online diary. It started off really sweet, saying he was in a wonderful relationship with me, and how he utterly adored me. It then slowly progressed into loathing and wondering what he ever saw in me, all because I have a low sex-drive. FML
by worthless / 04/02/2011 at 8:51pm / United States / Love
- Today, my husband spent our entire anniversary sulking because I wasn't up for sex. I gave birth to… Today, I was at a party with my boyfriend. There were some tents set up out the back so we decided… Today, my boyfriend told me that if I ever cheated on him, he'll chop my body up and dispose of all…
- Today, I told my mom I was gay and guess what? She told me to get in the car because she is taking… Today, I shaved down there and used new shaving cream. Apparently my cat likes the new scent and I… Today, I was left by my girlfriend of 3 years because I was over-jealous of her male friend because…