Jaaared_

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Offline (the 02/10/2015 at 5:24pm)

Jaaared_

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2818
  • Number of comments : 38
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Jaaared_ : I play guitar. I'm getting my pilot's license.

Jaaared_'s page activity

Visits<b>sackofsad</b> - the 07/07/2016 at 4:44am<b>ADOG2645</b> - the 05/10/2016 at 2:56pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 05/05/2016 at 5:04am<b>joshklander</b> - the 03/21/2016 at 8:04pm<b>naudia1590</b> - the 03/15/2016 at 8:35pm<b>Emziee4039</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 11:02pm<b>Meriwether</b> - the 12/10/2015 at 8:53pm<b>isabelc</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 7:32am<b>ryan4723</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 1:00pm<b>ratman775</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 10:14pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 6:57pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 10:19am<b>JpTheGreat23</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 10:38pm<b>Cadillac_kid_15</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 6:51am<b>nothemother</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 8:56am<b>calipilot227</b> - the 12/25/2014 at 11:38pm<b>Ghost_Kaulitz</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 10:43pm<b>umerin</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 10:11pm

Fucked!<b>umerin</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 8:29am

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Jaaared_'s favorite FMLs

Today, I gave a presentation to my college class about life with Tourette syndrome. I only got 3 minutes into it before my asswipe classmates started yelling stuff like "Shit!", "Cock!", and "Bob Saget!" I gave up and went back to my seat in tears as our bored instructor said "Next." FML

by Anonymous / 01/10/2015 at 5:12pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friends and I were talking about our celebrity lookalikes. We decided that my friends all had attractive celebrity lookalikes, including Scarlett Johansson and Hayden Panettiere. When it was my turn, they decided that my "celebrity" lookalike is the Pillsbury Doughboy. FML

by KD / 01/04/2015 at 4:53pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother has issued a 'Christmas Ultimatum'. The rest of us have exactly 2 days to "get some Christmas around here" or we will feel her wrath. FML

by Anonymous / 12/08/2014 at 6:11pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I snooped around my parents' room looking for hidden Christmas presents. The only hidden things I found was a whip, two ball gags, several other sex toys, and a load of newspaper clippings about the JFK assassination. What the fuck? FML

by .__. / 12/07/2014 at 3:10am / United Kingdom (Brent) / Miscellaneous

Today, I farted while I was in the car with my driving instructor and my partner. They couldn't hear it, but it smelled so bad that my instructor thought there was a gas leak, and he made us switch cars. FML

by Gassy and sassy / 12/07/2014 at 1:15am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Transportation

Today, to avoid walking on a thumbtack that had fallen on the floor, my little sister took a red sharpie to the carpet and drew a circle around it, "so that way, everyone will see it." FML

by punaise ... / 12/04/2014 at 9:12pm / France (Franche-Comte) / Love

Today, I was a bit upset to learn that my 13 year-old daughter had a boyfriend. When she noticed, she assured me that I shouldn't worry, because "it's just for sex anyway". FML

by aprouddaddy / 12/04/2014 at 6:46pm / Kids

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my vagina. He replied, "What's that?" FML

by Anonymous / 10/05/2014 at 10:42pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, at the beach, I noticed a plastic bag in the water. I wanted to do something good for a change, help protect the environment and get it out. It wasn't a bag; it was a jellyfish. FML

by Muwz / 08/13/2014 at 12:28am / Animals

Today, I put on a porno, trying to unwind after a bad day. 10 minutes in, I was so pissed off with the girl constantly repeating "You like that? Yeah?" and the cameraman's obsession with the guy's asscrack that I started yelling at the screen. Now I'm more stressed than ever. FML

by FUCK YOU / 08/08/2014 at 5:29pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my boss delivered some flowers and a sympathy card signed by everyone in the office to my cubicle. The card said, "Sorry your mom died". My mom isn't dead. I don't know where they got the idea from and no one believes me. They said that denial is part of grieving. FML

by ninnang / 07/09/2014 at 5:37pm / United States (Hawaii) / Work

Today, I woke up screaming like a little bitch. I'd been having a bizarre dream where I was having sex with Homer Simpson, when he suddenly had a heart attack and fell on me, crushing me to death. I think my brain needs a douching. FML

by Anonymous / 06/11/2014 at 6:20pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, the tornado sirens went off so my family went to the basement and turned on the TV to the local news. The station goes to their sky cam as a trampoline flies by. Quite the sight. When the storm passed, I looked outside to see our trampoline was gone. It was the one flying by on TV. FML

by Gone With the Wind / 05/11/2014 at 11:29pm / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous

Today, the creepy kid who sits behind me in English class decided that sniffing my hair wasn't disturbing enough for his liking, so he tried something new: popping one of the pimples on my neck. When I reacted in horror, all he could say was, "It looked pretty..." FML

by WTTFFFF / 05/09/2014 at 1:24pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, while at work as a telemarketer, I called a customer on his home phone. Once I was connected, an automated voice said, "To speak with a customer, please press 1." Confused, I pressed one. I then heard loud laughter followed by, "Oh my god! What a dumbass!" before they hung up. FML

by Anonymous / 05/07/2014 at 11:57pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work