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J_Kertz

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J_Kertz
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 151
  • Number of comments : 31
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About J_Kertz : Musician. Mentored by Dave Mustaine of Megadeth... The Voice Season 5 ✌️ Hit me up if you'd like to check out my band =)

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J_Kertz's favorite FMLs

Today, my parents grounded me for being "addicted" to drugs because I've been taking pain meds every four hours. I had my wisdom teeth taken out yesterday, and my face is badly swollen. FML

Today, I swallowed and nearly choked to death on the ring my boyfriend hid in my wine glass. It's still in me somewhere, and my doctor basically told me that I'll have to "keep an eye on things" if I want to find it. FML

#20967683
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42822) - you deserved it (5066)

On 11/23/2013 at 5:32am - love - by fecal romance (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, while babysitting a girl, I told her to be quiet so she wouldn't wake her little brother. In reply, she told me that she would kill me, wake her brother up to show him my dead body, then draw all over my face. I'm stuck with her for another two hours. FML

#20966535
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41563) - you deserved it (2823)

On 11/22/2013 at 1:20am - kids - by spooked (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I tried to have a fun night out. I met a guy and we went back to "his" place, which turned out to actually be his mother's house. He introduced me to her. Two hours later, I knew his life story and had to do the walk of shame without ever getting anywhere near his bedroom. FML

#20965857
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41366) - you deserved it (7823)

On 11/21/2013 at 3:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, I woke up to something tickling me. Thinking it was my cat, I reached under the covers to give her a friendly scratch behind the ears. I imagine the giant spider that was actually there enjoyed my terrified screams. FML

#20965814
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41704) - you deserved it (2773)

On 11/21/2013 at 12:52pm - animals - by thatsnotacat - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my obsessive ex, who recently cut my phone line to stop me from talking to my boyfriend of three years, got a job at the same restaurant where both my boyfriend and I work. FML

Today, as a part of my autobiography project for school, I needed to have 2 friends and 2 family members each write me a letter. I ended up having to forge 3 letters. FML

#20964402
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38200) - you deserved it (3008)

On 11/20/2013 at 10:28am - misc - by me - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend tried explaining a duck flying into our living room and taking a shit everywhere as "paranormal activity". FML

#20963751
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35343) - you deserved it (3144)

On 11/19/2013 at 8:09pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I realized I need to start hitting the gym, when my boyfriend actually utilized my love handles during sex. FML

Today, I found myself admiring my eyelids for being the only parts of my face not covered in acne. FML

#20960938
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41267) - you deserved it (3621)

On 11/17/2013 at 2:11pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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