Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

J_Kertz

Offline (the 04/01/2015 at 10:41pm) | Search for a member

J_Kertz

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 664
  • Number of comments : 43
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About J_Kertz : Musician. The Voice Season 5 ✌️ Hit me up if you'd like to check out my band =)

J_Kertz's page activity

Visits<b>DemonSpectre</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 7:26am<b>jacksontb</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 9:59pm<b>MaryssaJean</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 2:51pm<b>khaoticpanda</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 2:29pm<b>nina0917</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 12:23am<b>reneesingh__</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 9:03pm<b>yorkie_16</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 11:55pm<b>Quackadoodledoo</b> - the 12/24/2014 at 4:52pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 12/24/2014 at 3:27pm<b>Tbear11</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 7:58am<b>fmlnousername</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 10:44pm<b>ChrysN</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 1:53pm<b>Noah_Lynx</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 1:43am<b>demi94</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 8:41pm<b>sonic117</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 3:30pm<b>SophieMoph</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 3:23am<b>sacrosanct2</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 2:43am<b>fabrizio122</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 7:30pm

Fucked!<b>MaryssaJean</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 8:52pm

J_Kertz's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of J_Kertz's badges

J_Kertz's favorite FMLs

Today, my fiancé left me waiting at the train station for two and a half hours because he offered his ex-girlfriend a lift to her friends wedding that was a few cities away. I normally wouldn't have minded, but I'm 6 months pregnant and it was pouring with rain. FML

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It was also the first time he'd ever had sex. How could I tell? He cried all the way through, and called his parents right after. FML

#20974515
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58934) - you deserved it (6434)

On 11/29/2013 at 6:56am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my coworkers were bored. To solve this, they taped me to a chair and tried tickling me to death. My boss joined in. FML

#20971859
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40288) - you deserved it (4098)

On 11/26/2013 at 10:11pm - work - by tortured (man) - United States

Today, I was searched and questioned at the airport for having an apple. FML

#20971832
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38756) - you deserved it (4340)

On 11/26/2013 at 9:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my ex's mom got a job as our new soccer coach and recognized me from our New Year's party last year. She made me, and me alone, do 10 laps around the field in the rain for breaking her son's heart. FML

#20971434
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48121) - you deserved it (11775)

On 11/26/2013 at 3:00pm - love - by Amanda (woman) - United States

Today, while riding the subway, I fell asleep. I awoke to find that someone had stolen my glasses. From off my face. FML

#20969310
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36665) - you deserved it (7169)

On 11/24/2013 at 6:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was quietly admiring my boyfriend from outside the kitchen as he made us dinner, only to witness him drop a load of spaghetti on the floor, swear, then scoop it all up and place it back on the plate. FML

#20968993
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38794) - you deserved it (4049)

On 11/24/2013 at 1:31pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today, I realized my wedding ring had fallen off while doing yard work the previous day. Luckily, I only worked in a few areas, so I had high hopes of finding it. That is until a storm came through, blew half a foot of leaves all over the property, and then froze them with sleet. FML

Today, my parents grounded me for being "addicted" to drugs because I've been taking pain meds every four hours. I had my wisdom teeth taken out yesterday, and my face is badly swollen. FML

Today, I swallowed and nearly choked to death on the ring my boyfriend hid in my wine glass. It's still in me somewhere, and my doctor basically told me that I'll have to "keep an eye on things" if I want to find it. FML

#20967683
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46912) - you deserved it (5562)

On 11/23/2013 at 5:32am - love - by fecal romance (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, while babysitting a girl, I told her to be quiet so she wouldn't wake her little brother. In reply, she told me that she would kill me, wake her brother up to show him my dead body, then draw all over my face. I'm stuck with her for another two hours. FML

#20966535
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44654) - you deserved it (3341)

On 11/22/2013 at 1:20am - kids - by spooked (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I tried to have a fun night out. I met a guy and we went back to "his" place, which turned out to actually be his mother's house. He introduced me to her. Two hours later, I knew his life story and had to do the walk of shame without ever getting anywhere near his bedroom. FML

#20965857
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47281) - you deserved it (9402)

On 11/21/2013 at 3:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, I woke up to something tickling me. Thinking it was my cat, I reached under the covers to give her a friendly scratch behind the ears. I imagine the giant spider that was actually there enjoyed my terrified screams. FML

#20965814
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43639) - you deserved it (2930)

On 11/21/2013 at 12:52pm - animals - by thatsnotacat - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my obsessive ex, who recently cut my phone line to stop me from talking to my boyfriend of three years, got a job at the same restaurant where both my boyfriend and I work. FML



FML's blog

  • FML's Question Time #2: School
  • We tried this before and it went pretty well, so here's another blog section for everyone to have give their opinion on a popular but controversial subject. OK, we're not debating a…

Thursday 23 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: