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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 31 August 1997 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2248
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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JVVortex's page activity

Visits<b>CowTippingDwarfs</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 11:54pm<b>Yazoo77</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 2:19pm<b>360noscope</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 10:39am<b>abNormal62</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 8:32am<b>Zigstyle308</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 10:38pm<b>ThuNDeY</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 10:40am<b>thejonac</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 6:35am<b>tj4234</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 8:10am<b>PlainWhiteWalls</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 1:41pm<b>assassinbanana0</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 5:44am<b>Cautocracy</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 3:00pm<b>Keeper892</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 9:58am<b>CrAzYELF4</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 12:50pm<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 3:11am<b>noik01</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 3:51pm<b>theflyingellis</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 7:21am<b>kirbs19</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 2:19am<b>Ghost_Kaulitz</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 7:30am

Fucked!<b>assassinbanana0</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 10:44am<b>Cautocracy</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 8:00pm<b>kirbs19</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 8:19am

JVVortex's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of JVVortex's badges

JVVortex's favorite FMLs

Today, I watched porn on my phone for the first time and it went black and shut down. In reality my phone just died. But I thought for a few seconds the government found me out. Paranoia much. FML


I agree, your life sucks (17833) - you deserved it (6906)

On 10/03/2015 at 9:38am - misc - by xxx - United States (Virginia)

Today, my parents pranked me hard. They spent breakfast messing with my head, all to convince me that I was dreaming. I got so excited at finally having a lucid dream that I ran outside in my pajamas, yelling "Woo-hoo!" and trying to fly. Nothing happened. People saw. FML


I agree, your life sucks (14460) - you deserved it (19823)

On 10/02/2015 at 6:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was having lunch and I started throwing crumbs at my friend at the other table. Then I accidentally hit the kid next to him. He got really mad and came over and hit me in the shoulder with a brick. A brick. He just had a brick in his bag. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23451) - you deserved it (8095)

On 09/29/2015 at 6:00pm - work - by horp - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend and I lost our virginity to one another. He then did a naked victory lap around his dad's house, blasting Akon's "I Just Had Sex" at full volume. He's legally an adult. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25002) - you deserved it (4663)

On 09/24/2015 at 1:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had yet another debilitating migraine that kept me awake. In the middle of the night, I heard an owl hooting. Thinking it was cool, I moved closer to the open window to hear better. After a few minutes, I realized it was actually my new neighbor having loud sex. My aunt moved in next door. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23809) - you deserved it (1850)

On 09/02/2015 at 5:52pm - intimacy - by Hooty (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, on my daughter's 9th birthday, I have to let her know that her dog died in his sleep overnight. Happy birthday. FML

Today, my husband and I told my parents that I finally managed to conceive. My mom burst into tears of joy and said how great it was that she's finally going to be a "real" grandma, all within earshot of our adopted and now-devastated daughter. FML


I agree, your life sucks (35791) - you deserved it (1916)

On 08/19/2015 at 11:00am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa

Today, my girlfriend told me she wants to have sex with my ass. I'm not sure she's taking "no" for an answer, seeing as how she's keeping a dildo on her nightstand and is clearly waiting for me to fall asleep. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27243) - you deserved it (3008)

On 08/16/2015 at 11:49am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, it's been 2 days since my boyfriend "accidentally" slipped into the wrong hole while continuing to hammer me at full speed. I still can't poop or even walk right. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30859) - you deserved it (4239)

On 08/15/2015 at 5:32am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, the crush I've had for months finally came over to my place for the first time. It didn't last long however, as I suddenly had to go to the ER for severe testicular pain. FML


I agree, your life sucks (22938) - you deserved it (1964)

On 07/26/2015 at 1:55pm - love - by suosi (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I lost my virginity. The most memorable aspect of it wasn't the fact that my boyfriend finished after two thrusts, but rather the fact that he first said, "The pilot has entered the cockpit." FML


I agree, your life sucks (28390) - you deserved it (3241)

On 07/18/2015 at 7:09am - intimacy - by henhouse - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went downstairs early in the morning to watch a movie. As I walked into the living room and reached for the light switch, I heard my dad say "Knew you'd change your mind. Get them panties off." followed by the sound of a zipper being undone. I've never been so mortified in my life. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33852) - you deserved it (2476)

On 07/15/2015 at 12:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex quite aggressively. Towards the end, he lifted his hips off the bed and then headbutted me in the nose. The only thing that came today was blood all over my new bra. FML

Today, at my work in a call centre, a man called up on a very quiet line to report a car accident on his father's behalf because his father was deaf. I asked him to ask his dad if he was OK after the accident. I'd misheard him and he had said "dead", not "deaf". He started crying. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30066) - you deserved it (3846)

On 06/22/2015 at 7:35am - work - by Iamsosorry (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Scarlatine's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Scarlatine's illustrated FML
  • Are your abs well-toned and look like you’re made of metal? Feel like a machine ready to take whatever the crossfit fad can throw at you? Do you scream, ”Bro, do you Even lift?" at people during…

Monday 5 October 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

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