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JVVortex

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JVVortex

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 31 August 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1949
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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JVVortex's page activity

Visits<b>360noscope</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 10:39am<b>abNormal62</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 8:32am<b>catherine012</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 1:31pm<b>Zigstyle308</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 10:38pm<b>ThuNDeY</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 10:40am<b>thejonac</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 6:35am<b>tj4234</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 8:10am<b>PlainWhiteWalls</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 1:41pm<b>assassinbanana0</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 5:44am<b>Cautocracy</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 3:00pm<b>Keeper892</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 9:58am<b>CrAzYELF4</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 12:50pm<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 3:11am<b>noik01</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 3:51pm<b>theflyingellis</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 7:21am<b>kirbs19</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 2:19am<b>Ghost_Kaulitz</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 7:30am<b>buckdharma</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 3:33am

Fucked!<b>assassinbanana0</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 10:44am<b>Cautocracy</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 8:00pm<b>kirbs19</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 8:19am

JVVortex's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of JVVortex's badges

JVVortex's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex quite aggressively. Towards the end, he lifted his hips off the bed and then headbutted me in the nose. The only thing that came today was blood all over my new bra. FML

Today, at my work in a call centre, a man called up on a very quiet line to report a car accident on his father's behalf because his father was deaf. I asked him to ask his dad if he was OK after the accident. I'd misheard him and he had said "dead", not "deaf". He started crying. FML

#21430016
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29060) - you deserved it (3545)

On 06/22/2015 at 7:35am - work - by Iamsosorry (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, some asshat ran onto the road and tried and jump over my car as I drove by. He didn't make the jump. FML

Today, my husband and I broke the news to my 10-year-old son that in about 8 months, he'll have a baby brother or sister. I knew he never wanted a sibling, but I didn't expect him to throw a tantrum, then look at me through teary eyes and scream, "Why can't you keep your fucking legs closed?" FML

#21423894
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35141) - you deserved it (6953)

On 06/10/2015 at 12:13pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I told my boyfriend I was horny and was waiting for him at my place. 30 minutes later, he still hadn't arrived, so I called him and asked if he was coming. He replied "Already did, right into a kleenex." and hung up. FML

#21420621
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28843) - you deserved it (3594)

On 06/04/2015 at 8:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I realized that my new haircut makes me look like a movie star. Not Scarlett Johansson, no. I look like Lord Farquaad. FML

Today, I found out that my family and friends all laugh and compare me to Spongebob behind my back. Why? Because I'm 37 and still can't pass my driver's test. FML

#21391668
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28838) - you deserved it (17269)

On 04/11/2015 at 3:56am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my brother in law brought a dead rabbit to my nephew saying, "I found the Easter Bunny!" My nephew started crying hours ago and hasn't stopped. FML

#21388202
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28711) - you deserved it (2178)

On 04/05/2015 at 6:19pm - animals - by :O - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, three of my dipshit coworkers kept whining all day about Zayne Malik leaving One Direction, how devastating it is, and what it means for their future. As a pacifist, I've never had to struggle so hard to not beat the piss out of people and hurl their broken remains out a window. FML

#21381305
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30514) - you deserved it (4355)

On 03/25/2015 at 3:00pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was doing homework and I had my leg bent in a funny position. When I stood up, my hip dislocated. It was the most painful thing I've ever experienced. When people ask me what happened, I have to say I dislocated my hip doing calculus. FML

#21381072
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28636) - you deserved it (2992)

On 03/25/2015 at 12:24am - health - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, after a 7 year dry spell, I finally got laid. The downside? It was in my dreams and involved a character from My Little Pony forcing itself on me. Now I hate that fucking stupid show more than ever. FML

#21365913
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31274) - you deserved it (6498)

On 03/01/2015 at 2:24pm - intimacy - by love and tolerape, apparently (man) - India (Jharkhand)

Today, I asked my friend to download Frozen for me, because my mom wanted to play it for family movie night. The movie was shit, but it got even worse halfway through, when it cut to hardcore porn and a text bar saying "umad?" Now I'm grounded, and my "friend" is a legend for his prank. FML

#21346882
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30037) - you deserved it (5213)

On 01/30/2015 at 4:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I walked in on my husband jacking off to a photo of himself. FML

#21346857
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35751) - you deserved it (3705)

On 01/30/2015 at 3:16pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, just to win a bet against my mum that he could make me scream like a bitch, my dad faked his own suicide. He went the whole mile: fake blood everywhere, fake gun, yelling "Goodbye!" and playing a loud gunshot sound effect from his PC, everything. My dad won; my underwear lost. FML

#21339686
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39488) - you deserved it (3589)

On 01/18/2015 at 4:58pm - misc - by pissed out pants (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first handjob. I was nervous, so when she went to do it, I panicked and yelled, "Firmly grasp it!" She then couldn't stop laughing because it was a line from SpongeBob. FML



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