JVIarijke

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Offline (the 11/05/2014 at 7:29pm)

JVIarijke

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1385
  • Number of comments : 64
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About JVIarijke : Everybody gets what they deserve, and that's what makes it so much fun!

JVIarijke's page activity

Visits<b>HylianTwilight</b> - the 12/16/2015 at 4:48pm<b>britbear0731</b> - the 12/05/2015 at 12:02am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 11:50am<b>Exodiafinder687</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 3:29am<b>nikky10</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 6:58pm<b>QD</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 4:24am<b>ihelent</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 12:28am<b>melinal</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 10:28am<b>DietKola</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 3:00pm<b>it__happens</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 10:47pm<b>jomoma69</b> - the 01/18/2014 at 3:25pm<b>jettsd</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 4:53am<b>thedeadmen</b> - the 12/07/2013 at 6:38pm<b>Ambient25</b> - the 12/02/2013 at 5:33am<b>Trollx</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 3:06pm<b>molzipan</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 9:42am<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 11/23/2013 at 6:28am<b>carelessxdanger</b> - the 11/18/2013 at 4:54am

JVIarijke's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

See all of JVIarijke's badges

JVIarijke's favorite FMLs

Today, after years of frustration, I got a t-shirt printed that says, "I am a girl". FML

by mookiemookie01 / 03/27/2014 at 6:34pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I was proud when I started a confrontation with my best friend's brother because he is a sexist pig who treats women like crap. Six hours later my pride was gone: I made him an after-sex sandwich. FML

by Ashamed_Sister / 11/30/2013 at 2:35am / Namibia (Windhoek) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML

by MissYouPieceOfSkin / 11/27/2013 at 3:44am / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, everything that was beautiful and pure in my life turned into a terrible, warped version of what it once was. Today, I lost all hope and no longer believe that life, although sometimes shitty, is sweet and worth living. Today, I met my mother-in-law. FML

by Anonymous / 11/07/2013 at 5:21pm / United Kingdom (Derry) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband and I were watching Jurassic Park. At the end of the movie, he commented on how amazed he was that they could "train those dinosaurs" to do exactly what they wanted them to do. FML

by Anonymous / 10/29/2013 at 1:01pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love

Today, my wife ate nothing all day due to her morning sickness, but I tried to get her to eat something light, for our baby's sake. I brought her a banana. She yelled at me for being a "pervert" and accused me of just wanting to watch her stick a phallic object in her mouth. FML

by Anonymous / 10/27/2013 at 12:08pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, my ex boyfriend got into a physical fight with the guy I've been casually seeing for 9 months. Afterwards, they had a beer, a long chat, and decided this was my fault and I wasn't worth the drama. FML

by what did I do? / 10/25/2013 at 7:54am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, I realized I have erectile dysfunction while drunk, and premature ejaculation while sober. FML

by Anonymous / 10/24/2013 at 5:26pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up with a raging hangover. I soon checked my phone, only to find that I'd drunkenly sent nude pictures to several friends' numbers, as well as to my own. I'd then replied to my own message, saying that I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off. FML

by Anonymous / 10/18/2013 at 1:30pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, after months of exercise and diets and finally reaching my ideal weight, I told my morbidly obese cousin about my success, hoping to motivate him to do the same. He replied, "Why would it matter, you're still ugly." FML

by Anonymous / 10/15/2013 at 1:08pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, my boyfriend accused me of cheating because according to him, our child does not have his hair color, eye color, or other facial features. Our son is five days old, bald and hasn't opened his eyes much. The closest thing I can probably compare him to is an old, wrinkly potato. FML

by thisguy / 10/08/2013 at 5:55am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my husband yelled from upstairs, "Babe! BABE, COME QUICK!" Terrified that something might have happened to our newborn daughter, I rushed up, only to find out he just wanted to show me that he'd learned how to spin a top on the tip of his penis without it falling. FML

by -____- / 10/05/2013 at 5:28pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, my husband yelled from upstairs, "Babe! BABE, COME QUICK!" Terrified that something might have happened to our newborn daughter, I rushed up, only to find out he just wanted to show me that he'd learned how to spin a top on the tip of his penis without it falling. FML

by -____- / 10/05/2013 at 5:28pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I was training at work on proper techniques of physical restraint. As my coworker was practicing on me, I realized this was the first time I've had physical contact with a man in years. I'm ashamed to admit how good it felt to feel his weight pressed into my back as I pretended to resist. FML

by Anonymous / 10/04/2013 at 1:04am / United States (Utah) / Love

Today, as I was getting my nails done at a salon, the owner pulled my head back against the chair in front of all the customers and began to tweeze my eyebrows. When I exclaimed that I didn't pay for that service, she replied, "I don't care. This needs done." FML

by BaMiTsAnYa / 09/15/2013 at 9:21pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous