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JMB7478's favorite FMLs
Today, I went to have a breast exam. The doc told me that she would touch different parts of my breasts, and said to tell her if at any point it felt painful. As she was examining me, I was going to say that it wasn't painful, but instead I blurted out, "It feels good." FML
by Anonymous / 04/29/2013 at 12:51pm / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Health
Today, I summoned the courage to call my abusive mother-in-law about her non-payment of the money I stupidly lent her last year. She replied, "Why don't you go deepthroat a cactus, then we'll talk about it, cunt." and then hung up on me. FML
by a tad whipped / 04/28/2013 at 4:44pm / Australia / Money
by Anonymous / 04/28/2013 at 3:53pm / Saudi Arabia / Intimacy
by naps aren't what they used to be / 04/27/2013 at 6:05pm / United States / Work
by Anonymous / 04/27/2013 at 2:32pm / Lithuania (Kauno Apskritis) / Love
by Anonymous / 04/19/2013 at 9:16pm / New Zealand / Transportation
Today, I grounded my son after finding out that he's been bullying other kids at school. He got mad and screamed at me, calling me a "bastard". Instead of defending me, my wife got pissed and accused me of having taught our son to swear like that. I can never win. FML
by Anonymous / 04/19/2013 at 7:33pm / Sweden (Kronobergs Lan) / Kids
by reyoflight / 04/19/2013 at 6:04pm / Brazil (Rio de Janeiro) / Kids
by mista_sandy / 04/11/2012 at 12:54pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, I was stopped and searched by a cop, and he quickly found the bag of weed in my pocket. He didn't arrest or fine me, but he did confiscate my weed and told me to "get lost." Pretty sure I just got legally mugged. FML
by erockinthesuburb / 04/11/2012 at 12:25pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by kissrocks4 / 04/11/2012 at 3:04am / United States (California) / Health
by psychoticbiatch / 04/08/2012 at 9:58am / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend and I went to a basketball game. A very pretty woman sat next to him. During the third quarter, the kiss cam came on. But it didn't show him and me, it showed him and the other girl. And they kissed. FML
by jordyn173 / 04/07/2012 at 11:19pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Love
Today, I was taking a really big test in a class that I was failing. It was worth at least 7 grades so I studied my butt off. During the test, a girl with huge breasts sat down next to me and I couldn't stop staring. My test got confiscated because they thought I was cheating. FML
by tatatest / 04/05/2012 at 11:02pm / United States (Florida) / Work
by Krissy / 04/05/2012 at 10:11pm / United States / Intimacy
- Today my manager tried to force me to sign an employee contract (I've worked here a year) that she… Today, I finally went to talk to my neighbour upstairs. He is always throwing his cigarette buts on… Today, I found my daughters hiding spot. Yeah there was dolls, matchbox cars and coloring markers.…