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Offline (the 12/05/2016 at 12:30am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2544
  • Number of comments : 101
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 10 posted

About JD1147 : Master of lame jokes. What has black and white stripes, looks like a horse and lives in Africa? A frickin' zebra, dumbass!

Now message me and tell me your lamest joke. And don't just say "You."

And yes, that is a tag on the sunglasses.

JD1147's page activity

Visits<b>biloxi_girl</b> - the 10/19/2016 at 1:11am<b>rengoonhoo</b> - the 10/08/2016 at 4:26pm<b>Gabygonzalez9211</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 2:16pm<b>kittina</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 7:26pm<b>taranoelr</b> - the 10/17/2015 at 1:24pm<b>llv86</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 1:00pm<b>kyiomi</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 6:06pm<b>1DreamCatcher1</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 9:33pm<b>LZ8448</b> - the 10/09/2015 at 7:18pm<b>Skulllily</b> - the 10/04/2015 at 11:26pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 10/04/2015 at 10:23am<b>maddie_xo</b> - the 10/04/2015 at 8:55am<b>Taymoo1515</b> - the 10/01/2015 at 1:02am<b>makeupgirl</b> - the 09/29/2015 at 11:17pm<b>jannniie</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 6:06am<b>lennon_</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 6:32pm<b>uchihastephy88</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 12:27am<b>doodlebug13</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 7:26am

Fucked!<b>Skulllily</b> - the 10/05/2015 at 5:26am<b>Gabygonzalez9211</b> - the 09/19/2015 at 3:15pm<b>pro_idiot</b> - the 09/15/2015 at 4:35pm<b>fionabean</b> - the 09/15/2015 at 6:28am<b>kittina</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 5:55am<b>earlytermination</b> - the 09/13/2015 at 6:59pm<b>brittanyrose329</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 12:00am

JD1147's FML badges

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of JD1147's badges

JD1147's favorite FMLs

Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. All I can remember is crying to my mom because I thought spoons were taking over the world. FML

by KristaAaronn / 08/27/2014 at 8:24am / United States (Tennessee) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

by not a dick-man / 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML

by Pandamomma / 07/21/2014 at 8:58am / United States (North Carolina) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, on the bus, a little boy gave me the dirtiest look, pointed at my pregnant stomach, and menacingly said, "I know what you did." FML

by Anonymous / 07/11/2014 at 7:03am / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, my coworker called in to say that he couldn't make it to work today because he was in a coma and asked if I could cover his shift. This isn't the first time he's tried to use this excuse. FML

by HowAreYouAlive / 07/09/2014 at 12:24am / United States (Virginia) / Work

Today, I found a wasp in my kitchen, so I opened the back door and left the room for 10 minutes in the hope that it would fly away. Upon returning, I found that there were now three wasps, a vicious cat and a very panicked pigeon crashing around the room. FML

by Snow-White / 07/03/2014 at 8:27pm / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Animals

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my boobs. I quickly found out that I'd accidentally sent it to my sister instead. She sent me one back. FML

by boob sisters / 07/02/2014 at 1:01pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, my 6-year-old brother showed me the "books" he's been writing for the past week. My parents, who are first-generation immigrants, want him to take the books to school to show everyone. My only problem with this? The main character's name is "Wanker". FML

by Anonymous / 07/01/2014 at 5:41pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, while being high for the first time after getting my wisdom teeth pulled, I called my dental assistant pretty before leaving, and then shouted, "I NEED TO POOP!" to the whole office. FML

by Madridsta / 06/28/2014 at 2:28am / United States (California) / Health

Today, my son got a beating. Apparently, he went to a club, waited until he saw a couple of girls pulling a duckface for a photo, then rushed over and threw pieces of bread at them. Their boyfriends, not too surprisingly, didn't appreciate this. I had to drive the idiot home from the hospital. FML

by Anonymous / 06/27/2014 at 5:15pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I was driving my 7-year-old daughter to school, when out of nowhere a bird smashed into the windshield. Instead of screaming or being traumatized by the gore like me, my daughter started laughing, eventually calling the bird a "stupid bastard". FML

by Anonymous / 06/27/2014 at 4:22pm / Spain (Comunidad Valenciana) / Animals

Today, my wife bought a strap-on. I'm about fifty miles beyond terrified. FML

by possibly fucked / 06/22/2014 at 4:34pm / Portugal (Lisboa) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be witty to buy a miniature stop sign, and hold it up when she gets bored during sex. FML

by stopinthenameoflove / 06/19/2014 at 10:37am / Ireland (Dublin) / Love

Today, the girl who broke up with me and disappeared 6 years ago wished me a happy Father's Day. FML

by IneedMaury / 06/16/2014 at 11:30am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, at my all-night senior party, I was talking to the blind girl who I haven't had classes with since 9th grade. I unthinkingly opened the conversation with "Nice to see you again." FML

by It'd be nice to see you too. / 06/08/2014 at 10:17pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous