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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 21405
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 28 posted

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J0HNYR0773N's page activity

Visits<b>Mikie111999</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 12:21pm<b>Dantheman11246</b> - the 09/30/2015 at 6:21pm<b>10220706</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 11:27am<b>ilovewhatthecut</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 8:27am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 1:39pm<b>Essieee</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 10:17am<b>swampbaby985</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 3:34am<b>kak_999999999</b> - the 11/25/2013 at 8:59am<b>thatoneninjaa</b> - the 07/06/2013 at 11:44pm<b>evamusical</b> - the 04/19/2013 at 5:51am<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 10:52am<b>doriandorian</b> - the 12/10/2009 at 10:59pm<b>username666</b> - the 05/21/2009 at 5:38pm<b>kyraptka</b> - the 05/19/2009 at 2:29am<b>BillyAdict</b> - the 05/18/2009 at 9:30pm<b>morenap</b> - the 05/18/2009 at 7:19pm<b>onna</b> - the 05/18/2009 at 5:10pm<b>chinesechicken</b> - the 05/18/2009 at 1:32pm

J0HNYR0773N's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

J0HNYR0773N's favorite FMLs

Today, we went out to dinner to a family restaurant, and I was wearing a skirt since it's so warm out. My 4 year old scooted under the table to sit next to his brother. When he popped up on the other side, he exclaimed, "Mommy! You forgot to put on your underwears!" People were staring. FML

by whoopsiedoodle / 05/21/2009 at 8:45am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, my 3-year-old said, "Mommy, I can share my teddy grahams with you." I said, "Thanks, honey, you're so sweet." And I ate a few. When I popped the last one in my mouth, I said, "Oh no, all gone!" She said, "That's okay, I have more." Then pulled the next handful out of her underwear. FML

by chelserusera / 05/13/2009 at 9:45pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I woke up after a night of partying and went to the bathroom. That’s when I realized that after passing out with my shoes on last night, my friends decided use a black sharpie and play “connect the dots” with my acne. FML

by Anonymous / 05/13/2009 at 4:15pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was jogging through my neighborhood and then I notice this cute guy running beside me, we stoped and flirted for a while and my mom drove past. She then rolled down the window and said "Honey, you owe me for the dry cleaning on your period pants." FML

by Lolrus / 03/28/2009 at 12:50pm / Qatar (Ad Dawhah) / Miscellaneous

Today, I wanted to surprise my boyfriend by dressing up in sexy lingerie. When I went to answer the door he was standing there with a shocked expression, his friends parked in the driveway had the same expression as well. He came to break up with me. He told me after we had sex. FML

by lollipopp56 / 03/26/2009 at 2:09am / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy

Today, I was at the dentist getting a cavity filled. As she's drilling into my tooth, I feel the drill slip, and then she quickly stuffs gauze into my mouth. She nervously laughs and says to me "Wow! You must really be numb!" FML

by Noname / 03/06/2009 at 5:20pm / United States (Connecticut) / Health

Today, I called the florist and ordered a flower arrangement for my grandma, who I was told was sick. I said I didn't know what to get her, so just to send her something nice. I got a call from my mom calling me an inconsiderate bastard. They sent my grandma forget-me-nots. She has Alzheimers. FML

by Originality18 / 02/23/2009 at 9:22pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to use my friend's toilet. His pretty cute sister was in the kitchen adjoining the bathroom, so I smiled and said hi on my way through. I then had the loudest and most vile-sounding shit of my life. FML

by achtung / 02/01/2009 at 6:57pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other. Before, I reached over to her computer and put on "Your Body is a Wonderland". Surprisingly, I lasted through the song and didn't realize her itunes was on random. "Rape me" by Nirvana came on. I still finished. FML

by RollieCollieUSA / 01/30/2009 at 12:27pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I found out that after drunkenly falling asleep at a guy's house, I not only slept-walked in his house, but I went upstairs into his parents room. And used their bathroom. I don't remember any of this, but his mom does. FML

by Sleep Walking / 01/23/2009 at 1:51pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I was performing the classic 69 position with my girlfriend. I wasn't able to control it : I farted right into her nose. FML

by USSEYL / 11/25/2008 at 11:43pm / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Intimacy