Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

J08J

Search for a member

J08J
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 227
  • Number of comments : 38
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 33 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

J08J's last visitors

swampbaby985aklm15IHATEFMYLIFEbratleywtfjesskaileeypyellowchocobogc327072

J08J's FML badges

One ring to rule them all

You submitted an FML that was successfully published on the website. This makes you an exceptional human being.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of J08J's badges

J08J's favorite FMLs

Today, out of boredom, I built my cat a little fort. Later, I decided to crawl inside to pet her, but as soon as I stuck my head in, she clawed me. I guess I'm not allowed in, then. FML

#21061796
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36754) - you deserved it (7880)

On 02/15/2014 at 7:50pm - animals - by unloved cat owner - United States (California)

Today, trying to be a responsible parent, I bought my daughter a pack of condoms in case she ever decided to have sex. She turned them into balloon animals and went back to playing video games. FML

#21059009
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29677) - you deserved it (45266)

On 02/13/2014 at 10:47am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, in the very middle of the night, my kitten started rubbing against my face. Thinking I saw her face in the darkness, I decided to kiss her before going back to bed. My lips made contact with her butthole. FML

#21058991
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45027) - you deserved it (15886)

On 02/13/2014 at 10:20am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, my house is on lockdown. I recently moved to Georgia from Rhode Island to be with my boyfriend. The state is on high alert for an ice storm. I'm stuck inside with my terrified boyfriend, who's calling it "the storm of the century". I used to walk to school in this weather. FML

#21058111
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44701) - you deserved it (4850)

On 02/12/2014 at 1:25pm - misc - by Stuck - United States (Georgia)

Today, I ran out of toilet paper. I yelled from the bathroom for my parents to bring me some toilet paper. My dad slipped one tiny piece of toilet paper under the door and boomed, "THE FINAL TEST." FML

#21058095
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37628) - you deserved it (5010)

On 02/12/2014 at 12:57pm - misc - by airhead2015 (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, at work, a customer asked me to unlock the restroom for them. I honestly couldn't figure out which gender they were, but I didn't want to be rude and ask, so I took a chance. I unlocked the wrong one. FML

#21056381
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42115) - you deserved it (4717)

On 02/10/2014 at 3:48pm - work - by elizabethkalyn (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I accidentally asked the cashier at Wendy's how much their 99 cent chicken nuggets were. I guess he is still laughing at me. FML

#21056193
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34515) - you deserved it (17748)

On 02/10/2014 at 10:40am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, whilst getting out of the shower, I tripped on the lip of the siding, bruising my middle toe. I fell, and in doing so, squished my cat. She won't even make eye contact and keeps wheezing. I have a feeling she is plotting my death. FML

Today, wanting to break up with my boyfriend, I invited him to dinner with my parents. I was sure they'd hate him, which would give me the excuse I needed. They ended up loving him, and now they won't stop mentioning marriage. FML

#21053604
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20322) - you deserved it (44601)

On 02/07/2014 at 6:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I presented my child with the classic "Who came first, the chicken or the egg?" conundrum. In return, I got a detailed lecture on how birds evolved from dinosaurs, how life was created in the sea and an explanation about evolution. I got schooled by a 9 year old. FML

#21051355
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39710) - you deserved it (20488)

On 02/05/2014 at 2:52pm - kids - by Evolution mama (woman) - Iceland (Gullbringusysla)

Today, as I came home from school, I saw a little rock in the road. I kicked it, intending to send it sailing into the bushes in front of my house. It went wide and sailed straight into a window instead. FML

#21050272
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28173) - you deserved it (13795)

On 02/04/2014 at 1:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, the highlight of my day was when I figured out that my little brother's toy dump truck could actually dump stuff out. I'm 18. FML

#21048030
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33759) - you deserved it (6498)

On 02/02/2014 at 11:13am - misc - by LarissaT18 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had an upset stomach all day at work. When lunch break came, I rushed to the bathroom. Just as I turned into an unstoppable human whoopie cushion, a co-worker walked in. He heard the entire arse symphony, and just asked "What the fuck, dude?!" as he left. FML

#21045407
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39279) - you deserved it (3992)

On 01/30/2014 at 5:46pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I told my friend I would pay him to ask out the ugliest girl he knew. He asked out my girlfriend. FML

#21039900
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23427) - you deserved it (46231)

On 01/25/2014 at 7:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I told my friend I would pay him to ask out the ugliest girl he knew. He asked out my girlfriend. FML

#21039900
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23427) - you deserved it (46231)

On 01/25/2014 at 7:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: