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Iwtumn

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Iwtumn

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IwtumnIwtumn
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3845
  • Number of comments : 1058
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 33 posted

About Iwtumn : I read [everything, I don't care if it's a good book or a bad book (well, actually I do care, but I still read the bad ones, because they are what causes me to enjoy the good ones even more), if I can get my hands on it I'll read it], I cook (though I prefer baking... But you can't have cake everyday), I crochet (mostly scarves) and I sleep. And when I have some time left I also work on my degree. (And currently I am reteaching myself Spanish :) )

Now leave and do something productive (or stay and enjoy the pictures of my cats)! If you feel like you have something interesting to say you may also leave a message (and you should definitely send me one if you know a good book).

Iwtumn's page activity

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Iwtumn's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of Iwtumn's badges

Iwtumn's favorite FMLs

Today, I went out for dinner with my long-term crush, who turned out to be a huge dog person. He asked me which dog breed I like the most. In an attempt to reply with both Labrador and Doberman, I accidentally said Dumbledore. FML

#20451560
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32165) - you deserved it (9001)

On 01/10/2013 at 7:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Slovakia

Today, I tried to get my boyfriend to roll over while he was asleep. He snores loud enough to wake the neighbors and if he lays on his side he usually stops. Instead of rolling over, he stuck his leg in the air, farted twice, and laughed about it in his sleep. He's still snoring. FML

#20447496
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35961) - you deserved it (5181)

On 01/08/2013 at 2:44am - misc - by no sleep for me -

Today, "The Phantom of the Opera" soundtrack blasted me awake at 4 am. Not knowing how it got on my iPod, I checked and found I had bought the whole $17.00 album in my sleep. This is the second time this month; the first time I downloaded the soundtrack from "The Wizard of Oz". FML

#20198547
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25306) - you deserved it (5803)

On 12/10/2012 at 12:10am - money - by hailey - United States (Maryland)

Today, my daughter finally gave birth to twin boys. She informed me that she named them Peregrin Took and Meriadoc Brandybuck. My grandsons are named after Hobbits. FML

#20194616
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28399) - you deserved it (5385)

On 12/06/2012 at 11:49pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I woke up with a vague memory of buying something last night while drunk. According to my credit card summary I made a $270 purchase from a home shopping channel. I guess in 5-7 days I'll find out what it was. FML

#20147165
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9075) - you deserved it (25689)

On 11/04/2012 at 11:37am - money - by fnfantastic - United States (Indiana)

Today, while I was using my computer, my cat ran up to the power strip, looked me in the eyes, and hit the power switch, turning everything off. She does this quite often. FML

#20116072
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23424) - you deserved it (4285)

On 10/14/2012 at 3:00am - animals - by stop it ninja - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was walking home from work, when a clearly homeless guy who smelled like Jimmy Hoffa's colon grabbed me, pinned me to a wall, and demanded that I hand over my "booty". I don't know whether or not I was mugged by Jack Sparrow, but either way, he's now over £100 richer. FML

#19987585
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19870) - you deserved it (2091)

On 07/27/2012 at 3:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Midlothian)

Today, I found out that if you whistle Christmas carols while shitting in a public bathroom, a little boy might just look under the stall to see if Santa is pooping. FML

#19784207
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13185) - you deserved it (23649)

On 06/13/2012 at 9:17pm - misc - by ww2freak - United States (Virginia)

Today, I realized that due to my obsession with House MD, I seem to have subconsciously developed a limp in my right leg. FML

#19400848
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7271) - you deserved it (25228)

On 04/03/2012 at 12:37pm - health - by spougeineye1 - United States (Washington)

Today, I sold my Xbox and Kinect to a guy. I forgot that sometimes I'd play Dance Central naked, and the Kinect would make videos. This guy now has videos of me, naked, badly dancing. FML

#18791715
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12811) - you deserved it (46725)

On 01/13/2012 at 12:05am - misc - by anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I experienced the most intense pain I have ever had in my life. I was eating blueberries when my sister made a comment which sent me into hysterics. The force of having a bullet-like berry violently shoot out your nostril is more painful than it sounds. FML

#18617176
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25502) - you deserved it (3853)

On 12/26/2011 at 4:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had a dream in which I was arguing with my mom. In the dream, she threatened to hit me, and I told her I'd do it myself. I reared back and knocked the crap out of myself. I'm awake now, and my jaw still hurts. FML

#18519378
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24188) - you deserved it (5515)

On 12/15/2011 at 12:30pm - misc - by Grubendol - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my husband changed the voice on my car's GPS to Mr T's. I don't know how to change it back. I've been saying, "I pity the fool" over and over again ever since. FML

#18510240
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20914) - you deserved it (4971)

On 12/14/2011 at 9:06am - misc - by annoyed (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML

#18312960
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34511) - you deserved it (6040)

On 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm - animals - by furryballoon (woman) - United States (Washington)



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