Iwtumn

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Offline (the 08/26/2016 at 7:10am)

Iwtumn

224Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7130
  • Number of comments : 1516
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 41 posted

About Iwtumn : I read, I knit, I bake and I drink a lot of tea. Yeah, I'm basically a grandma in the body of someone in their twenties.

Iwtumn's page activity

Visits<b>inowhtthefoxsays</b> - 10 hours ago<b>thunderniron</b> - the 08/29/2016 at 9:20am<b>ItnHmn</b> - the 08/25/2016 at 11:41am<b>thinlinetele</b> - the 08/22/2016 at 10:10pm<b>ADC_Lover_2011</b> - the 08/22/2016 at 5:22pm<b>ruudseriesx</b> - the 08/17/2016 at 12:57pm<b>Ben_Dover831</b> - the 08/08/2016 at 3:24am<b>Rylai</b> - the 08/05/2016 at 6:24am<b>RedRiolu</b> - the 08/03/2016 at 7:40pm<b>slappygecko</b> - the 08/02/2016 at 4:22pm<b>Becca34</b> - the 08/02/2016 at 3:04pm<b>seenoevil818</b> - the 08/01/2016 at 2:13am<b>frankmz</b> - the 08/01/2016 at 12:06am<b>krakalacka</b> - the 07/26/2016 at 11:17am<b>Ladisa</b> - the 07/04/2016 at 3:27am<b>sturschaedel</b> - the 07/04/2016 at 2:43am<b>toastbrot</b> - the 07/03/2016 at 2:35am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/22/2016 at 2:02pm

Fucked!<b>frankmz</b> - the 08/01/2016 at 6:06am<b>Ladisa</b> - the 07/04/2016 at 9:27am<b>sturschaedel</b> - the 07/04/2016 at 8:44am<b>AnnaMuffin</b> - the 06/18/2016 at 4:50pm<b>LadyIrene</b> - the 06/04/2016 at 7:58pm<b>Jrsmommy2014</b> - the 04/04/2016 at 2:41am<b>grifmelo</b> - the 03/30/2016 at 4:45am<b>eski2015</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 11:41pm<b>rhiley</b> - the 03/11/2016 at 5:44am<b>WD_Stevens</b> - the 03/08/2016 at 6:58pm<b>Avi8r</b> - the 03/08/2016 at 12:06am<b>NNOTCHO</b> - the 02/26/2016 at 1:04am<b>theRonin</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 3:35am<b>Stachelschaf</b> - the 02/20/2016 at 11:00pm<b>WiredTechnician</b> - the 02/20/2016 at 3:56am<b>FailStaff</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 7:00am<b>Bonngoo</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 7:00am<b>Dune1988</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 8:33pm

Iwtumn's FML badges

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You subsequently gave feedback by commenting on an FML that you’d submitted and was published.

One ring to rule them all

You submitted an FML that was successfully published on the website. This makes you an exceptional human being.

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

See all of Iwtumn's badges

Iwtumn's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my bald, goatee-sporting chemistry teacher that he looks like Walt from Breaking Bad. I quickly got sent to the principal's office and received a 3-day suspension for "slandering" my teacher by implying that he makes meth. FML

by me / 04/04/2013 at 4:07pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my cat learned how to open doors. Ever since then she's been running up to my room, opening my door, and running away. My cat is playing ding-dong ditch. FML

by Apes / 03/25/2013 at 3:18am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I met the man of my dreams. We saw a movie, then went to a bar. It went perfectly, until he got wasted and started singing "Never Gonna Give You Up" to me while everyone laughed. Then I woke up, having just been Rickrolled by my own subconscious. FML

by ShadowBox / 03/12/2013 at 12:43pm / Netherlands (Gelderland) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML

by je_regrette_tout / 03/09/2013 at 1:50pm / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend yet again decided to act like Edward Cullen from Twilight, and got his friend to act like Jacob. Every time they're around, my boyfriend always looks stoned and constipated, and his friend is shirtless. I feel like I'm in a shitty romance movie. FML

by Bella / 01/15/2013 at 1:57pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I went out for dinner with my long-term crush, who turned out to be a huge dog person. He asked me which dog breed I like the most. In an attempt to reply with both Labrador and Doberman, I accidentally said Dumbledore. FML

by Anonymous / 01/10/2013 at 7:20am / Slovakia / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried to get my boyfriend to roll over while he was asleep. He snores loud enough to wake the neighbors and if he lays on his side he usually stops. Instead of rolling over, he stuck his leg in the air, farted twice, and laughed about it in his sleep. He's still snoring. FML

by no sleep for me / 01/08/2013 at 2:44am / Miscellaneous

Today, "The Phantom of the Opera" soundtrack blasted me awake at 4 am. Not knowing how it got on my iPod, I checked and found I had bought the whole $17.00 album in my sleep. This is the second time this month; the first time I downloaded the soundtrack from "The Wizard of Oz". FML

by hailey / 12/10/2012 at 12:10am / United States (Maryland) / Money

Today, I woke up with a vague memory of buying something last night while drunk. According to my credit card summary I made a $270 purchase from a home shopping channel. I guess in 5-7 days I'll find out what it was. FML

by fnfantastic / 11/04/2012 at 11:37am / United States (Indiana) / Money

Today, my dog was licking the dishes in the dishwasher when his collar got stuck on it. Then he got scared of the dishwasher rack following him and ran away really fast. Now I have no dishes. FML

Today, I found out that if you whistle Christmas carols while shitting in a public bathroom, a little boy might just look under the stall to see if Santa is pooping. FML

by ww2freak / 06/13/2012 at 9:17pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that due to my obsession with House MD, I seem to have subconsciously developed a limp in my right leg. FML

by spougeineye1 / 04/03/2012 at 12:37pm / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, I sold my Xbox and Kinect to a guy. I forgot that sometimes I'd play Dance Central naked, and the Kinect would make videos. This guy now has videos of me, naked, badly dancing. FML

by anonymous / 01/13/2012 at 12:05am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I experienced the most intense pain I have ever had in my life. I was eating blueberries when my sister made a comment which sent me into hysterics. The force of having a bullet-like berry violently shoot out your nostril is more painful than it sounds. FML

by Anonymous / 12/26/2011 at 4:41pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a dream in which I was arguing with my mom. In the dream, she threatened to hit me, and I told her I'd do it myself. I reared back and knocked the crap out of myself. I'm awake now, and my jaw still hurts. FML

by Grubendol / 12/15/2011 at 12:30pm / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous